Can someone PLEASE tell what the hell is going on with this guy in this situation?

I'll make this brief. Went on two long dates with a guy, slept together on the second. This didn't change things, both kept in touch and planned a third. He bailed due to illness. When he got better, he asked me out for a drink. I declined as it seemed like he was just after sex, as some of his messages were very suggestive. He strongly denied he wasn't and was tired of all that and wanted to see me.

So, I relax and open up more to him. We plan another date. His messages turn sexual again and he sends me a dick pic.

We swap a few pics over the next few days, and the reasons I did are: 1. I quite liked him. 2. he'd started it all and seemed very open minded about sex, which I am as well but nevertheless, I still started to feel a bit worried that he was lying, and was only after one thing.

So I THEN get a message from him saying he doesn't want to meet up, as he thinks this is going to turn into just sex and he doesn't want that.

I replied "well why don't we just leave the physical side out and concentrate on getting to know each other? I'd rather much prefer that to be honest."

He replies: "I don't know why. I just don't feel it's right meeting up. I'm sorry. It's my loss."

To which I say: "well, all I can conclude is that you're not interested in me enough to date romantically, and maybe all the excitement vanished after we slept together. OR you're seeing someone else."

He said the first bit made no sense, and the last comment wasn't true.

I feel like such an idiot. he's messed me about and he know's that.

What is up with him?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Forget about him; what is up with you? You want a guy to date you in a romantic way and to get to know you. You don't want to think he is just looking for sex. You want more than all of that. So you fuck him in the second date.

    Why do you think it went badly?

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    • No, I get that. I do. But both parties in this situation had sex on the second date. He did say to me on the first date he was more interested in looking to date someone (so was I) so how can I take him seriously when he sleeps with me on the 2nd date? With all due respect, I do not see sleeping with someone that early on as a deal breaker. Maybe it's a messed up generation phenomenon, but in my own individual experience, I've had two serious ex boyfriends (the last I was going to marry) who I slept with early on. One of them even said, he wanted to hold back a bit and get to know me more and I more than happily agreed. We dated for four years. So I can only assume THIS current guy wasn't interested in my enough as a person to meet up and date romantically. Which is fair play. He just didn't have the balls to admit it.

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    • I value your opinion and I agree. I guess I have learned that even though sleeping early on with someone hasn't been an issue in the past and it worked out, this instance it didn't. And he lead me to believe it wasn't an issue.

    • Better safe than sorry! (Easier for someone else to say that than it is to put that into practice. . . I know!)

Most Helpful Girl

  • he's only after sex

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What Guys Said 2

  • He is a drop deadbeat! still seeing him or trying to pursue him or meeting with would add misery to your situation.. Please avoid him.. 2nd date sleeping was the turning point of your so called romantic relationship!

    Well you learnt a lesson now.. so you'd be more careful while dealing with next date !

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    • Oh don't worry, I'm not pursuing him. He's not worth it or deserves me. I guess with this individual, maybe the early sex did mar his perception of our relationship. He just doesn't have the guts to admit it.

    • well.. i am glad that you are willing to put forth your steps.. this is always a positive sign.. kudos baby.. And you will find the guy of your choice for sure.. just wait for it (moment) till your guy arrives..

  • sex and not sure but possibly cheating i dont see any real emotion from him. i think u should drop him

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