Is it weird to feel guilty for not telling my boyfriend?

I met and became good friends with a guy. We hung out couple of times inside and outside. It is pure friendship, no feelings on both sides whatsoever. We hung out a lot as I was trying to get this friend back on their feet as he is going through a difficult time. I feel guilty for not telling my boyfriend about him or hanging out with him because we always tell eachother everything. I did not think of it, I was too focused on trying to help. I am so loyal and would NEVER betray him ever. On the other hand, I feel like perhaps I should let it go and never tell him about it as he would get very upset due to hanging out alone especially inside, and I just met this guy. Sort of like that quote, don't do good things that may seem otherwise. Perhaps some things are better left unsaid. What do you think? I really don't want my boyfriend to mistrust me because I've never betrayed him in any way for the whole 5 years together. :( PS: I am no longer hanging out with this friend until I introduce him to my boyfriend , honest opinions


Most Helpful Guy

  • This is tough. I don't consider myself overly jealous, but if my girlfriend was doing this I'd likely be at least a little upset. You didn't do anything wrong, but I would hope you could understand why your boyfriend might be concerned about it.

    I guess the answer comes down to who your boyfriend is. You know him better than anyone. If you can explain the situation to him and you'd think he'd understand, even if he was slightly upset, tell him and maybe apologize. If you think he'd respond poorly it'd probably be better not to tell him. If that's the case you have to be really honest with yourself. If there really was nothing happening between you and the friend, just move on and learn something from the exoerience. If the situation was more intimate than you'd like to think than you have some soul searching to do.

    • Hmmm yes he'll definitely believe that something else than a friendship was occurring, as I omitted it.. even though honestly, nothing happened at all, it was a mistake on my behalf really

    • Yeah, it's not ideal. I guess I wouldn't tell him. Learn something from the situation and embrace some guilt. But it sounds like telling him wouldn't do anyone any favors. It's good you can see why the situation isn't awesome.

      Don't look for ways to retroactively make the situation right, like introducing the friend to him in hope that if he understands than maybe you'll be forgiven. It's just a small, *relatively* insignificant thing that happened in your life. Just try and move on. You don't need to be forgiven. You just need to accept it for yourself.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Always be honest. Always.

    Would you want to know that your boyfriend was with a girl alone? It's just common courtesy. Keeping this from a SO to not bring "harm" unto them, disturb the peace or because YOU think it's for the best, is not fair or respectful towards your SO. Your boyfriend will appreciate your honesty and remember, don't treat others especially your SO like you wouldn't enjoy being treated.

    Truthfullness, honest etc those things always win vs hiding things.

    • Yes definitely, that is exactly why I feel guilty. I have always been honest to him about everything. My concern is that even though I should tell him, it may just cause unnecessary mistrust because well let's face it, omitting that seriously looks as if I was cheating but I WASN'T. It was honestly a mistake on my behalf, and if I could go back in time to introduce my friend beforehand, I would have but it's too late for that as we hung out already...

    • Show All
    • I wouldn't consider myself a liar in general as this is the very, very first time I do this in the past 5 years I have been with my boyfriend. I accept that it was a mistake on my behalf, I did not stop to think. I just went ahead and helped a friend in need. Now, that does not mean that I will do that again as I realized what I have done. Quite honestly if it was switched the other way around, I would probably not want to know as it'll probably just produce continuous doubts and questions to something that was truly harmless. Well, I learned from my mistake and knowing the person I am, no I am not a cheater, I have never done something like this before, I slipped this time but it won't happen again, thank you for your opinion

    • There's nothing wrong with helping a friend. I think it's odd and unusual to keep things from your partner that are not even wrong in the first place. If you and your partner have a loving, trusting relationship it shouldn't be weird or wrong to tell them you helped a friend and now want to tell them so that they know. Your partner is your best friend. If you can't tell them basic things like that without it causing suspicions or problems then your relationship probz isn't that healthy.

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What Guys Said 3

  • You don't have to tell him, both of you have your own social lives outside from each other. It's up to you if want to tell him but if you are feeling guilty there is no harm from noy telling your boyfriend about him

  • A lie by omission is still a lie in my opinion. Better to be upfront about it. I myself tend to be a jealous guy until I'm confident I can trust my girlfriend. But even with the utmost trust, I still like to be kept in the loop.

    I'm not saying you need permission or anything, but if for any reason he receives you two hanging out as something he isn't comfortable with, if he somehow finds out you did so without telling him he may not take it well.

    I say tell him, if you two are strictly platonic friends, then there's no reason your boyfriend shouldn't at least know about it.

    That's just how I feel ofcourse.

  • I think someone should not make NEW opposite gender friends while in a relationship. If I was him and found out, I would lose trust in you for that and doubt your loyalty.
    I suggest always asking permission first before making new opposite gender friends.
    How would you feel if your boyfriend was spending time alone with another girl without asking you first and hid it from you?
    No matter what he said, wouldn't that make you doubt his loyalty and wouldn't you always be a little suspicious of him after that?


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