She doesn't want a relationship but she wants to keep me around?

So I've been seeing this girl for a couple months and we've been on awesome dates, and we both seem to have a really good time. she's had over 10 years of relationships spread across multiple guys (who were all either cheated on her or treated her like shit) and this seems to be the first time she's been single for a while. Here I come along, at first we were lovey dovey, then she realized that she's lost in life and does not want to comitt to a relationship which I say is fine I can wait but now after these couple of months I've been very supportive and helpful but I am very pushy (Talks about goals, and very deep into the future so i guess it overwhelms her) so when we hangout it's like we're a couple but although she has fun she doesn't wanna feel like we're although couple I don't know is it because of bad history, or because she actally is really busy (she does alot), and she does acknkwledge that im pushy. What should I do? She's really the first girl I've ever wanted to make serious and i really do love being around her i feel like I can help make her life better.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Pretty sure she has you as back up. If she can't find anyone else, she's always got you to lean on. I say leave her because that's honestly really selfish of her and it's not respectful towards you

    • The only thing I have a problem with that is there is a ton of guys that are chasing her, and I mean a lot

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    • She still wants to keep me around I take it, should i just back off and be a friend and let things fall into place? I'm not really hurt kinda sad but i feel like I've been fucked around with many times before kinda numb, im mr. Nice guy which is my problem

    • If you want to stick around, that's your choice, but like you said you've been fucked around and she's doing the exact same thing to you. I feel like you're just going to get hurt and that just sucks because I know how that feels.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Your title says enough. Don't contact her again, don't reply and what so ever. She only sees you as a friend who she can get validation from. You will never be her boyfriend.

    Also, you are too needy. You are acting like you need her in your life, when you don't.

    Want a more in-depth answer? Go to the subreddit - The red pill.

    • I know I am but I've been working on it to be more understanding because i know its a problem of mine, i know i dont need her but I want her, she's even said that nobody else would do the things I've done for her, im just pushy is the main reason

    • Sounds like you need a wakeup call: You are too deep in the friendzone, and you won't get out. She does not respect you as a man (telling you she hopes to date another male friend, when she knows you like her). The only thing she sees in you is easy validation.

      Harsh truth. Take it or stay in the friendzone as a mr. nice guy. Your decision. Not mine.

      Read "The manipulated male" it can easily be found for free online on the subreddit "The red pill" in the sidebar ("new here?"), which I also recommend you to read. Also read "No more Mr. Nice guy," which you can also find it online for free.

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 2

  • You're on the string. You are a spare tire. She is waiting for something better to come along but if she can't find anything she has you to fall back on. This is so fucked up. Leave and find s relationship where a girl wants to be with you.

    • Yea I've been told that, but even me leaving, what do I do if she trys to pull me back in, show her no love so that she misses it or?

    • Don't even think about her. She tries to pull you back in its because she wants her spare tire back. Don't even play head games just move on entirely.

  • She's been through a lot if she's been through that many relationships , so if you have the patience than maybe stick it out and end up with someone that could appreciate you too since she will have some commitment issues because of past relationships

    • I understand that and beileve me im not perfect and I would wait because im not here to hurt her just to make her happy, and she really does have a good time with me, i just think the idea of being in another relationship overwhelms her and me being pushy doesn't help

    • Yeah so I would just take it casually for now until she gains more trust in you I guess

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