Have you given up on dating? If so... why?

I see a lot of talk about MGTOW and Feminism. Are these two entities seeping into the minds of of our young people where it's actually causing them to just GIVE UP? I will quote two examples.

1. A young woman came to me and asked about online dating and how she could get up and running on Match. com. I was happy to help until she told me her philosophy on men. She stated that she finds it disgusting that she has to put on make up, get dressed up, just for a date. Why can't i just wear sweatpants? she also said... I am tired of educating men on how they should behave on every first date. He should like me for who I am no matter how I look. Men don't have to do anything so why should I? I basically told her I cannot help her. Attraction is a big part of my business and if you are not willing to participate then I will have to decline.

2. Dude calls me up and asks about online dating... same stuff... how can I kill it? Then he told me about his philosophy. Women want to be equal so I am damn sure I will make these bitches pay for the first date and every date after that. They want to take half my money after I give them a ring.. no thanks... I am just looking for GET IN.. GET OFF... GET OUT. Help me trick them into bed coach? Again, I said I cannot help you. I am not a PUA instructor LOL.. . sorry.

I find both movements frightening... our traditions are fading away... I am not saying some of these traditions can't be tweaked to fit today's social atmosphere but when both sexes become something else.. what's left? Japan?

Updates:
Thanks for all the great input.. learning a lot.. keep the good comments coming!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hey boo, how are you!! This is a great question by the way! I'm on the fence but not for the listed reasons! Dating is a scary world... I think people are more selfish these days! I don't mind going Dutch on the first date but I'm a bit of a traditionalist so if I am being asked out on a formal date, I think it is fair for the man to pay. I'm a cheap date so I'll probably eat a small salad and drink water with lemon! Lol!! Anyways, there are so many factors out there that I believe influence people's decisions to date. Some connections are just not organic and I don't feel the need to put my time into something that doesn't feel right! Besides, I'm trying to make friends before taking things to a serious level. Friendship building is what is important at this point!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I wouldn't say I have 'given up' on dating, but that's certainly not a priority for me. The rigours of dating and relationships are too much for me. Maximum investment, minimum returns. I like solitude, freedom and independence.

    It would require somone I am REALLY into to changemy mind, and I am not banking on that happening.

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    • How can someone awesome come along when you already made up your mind that it's not going to happen?

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    • Finally -- do you find that it is easier to feel emotionally intimate with people you have no physical intimacy with? At some point, I feel more emotionally connected with women friends. Those relationships last, with no physical intimacy. Sex kills relationships, The sexual relationships last a few weeks at most, and those women disappear.

    • @brain5000

      Exactly! I rented my own apartment recently (until now I used to live in a private room with other people), and I have never been happier! I now realise what independence and freedom means, and I won't let that be taken away from me by a woman!

      And like you, I too usually go to places like malls, movies, restaurants etc. on my own. I have my trusty headphones for company, and I just love it!

What Girls Said 9

  • I have given up, I'd say, 95%, so maybe 5% hope/attempting. For me, it has nothing to do with feminism or MGTOW, and I don't it's that for everyone else, either. I am into men and women... so... I have read some MGTOW stuff and agree with quite a bit of it where women are concerned, but certainly not all... and I agree with some things feminists say and even some things "feminazis" say where men are concerned.

    My mindset?

    With women, I just feel very hopeless of ever being able to get and keep one, mainly based on past experiences and what I hear/read from them about what they're seeking. I feel like if I'm not what you say you're looking for or don't have several things you're looking for, why bother? Usually when I find a woman and we seem to fit together, for some reason or another she ends up not wanting it. That makes me think that's how it'll always be, and I'm just tired of putting in effort to get that outcome or if I believe I'll get that outcome. I think a lot of guys who give up feel similarly to me for similar reasons, and some flock to MGTOW as a result--it's not the cause.

    With men, my personal belief is men have no business getting married or committing to one woman in any sense. I don't think men are wired to just f*ck one woman for the rest of their lives. I am not trying to put men down, and I respect men who come out and say being with one woman or being in a relationship is not for them because I think they're being more honest with themselves and everyone else than most men are. Unfortunately, I'm not going to let a man be with me and still have sex with other women; I'm just not wired that way. I am very much a romance fairytale type of woman, and I want a one and only and want to be someone's one and only. I see myself as fundamentally incompatible with men, though I love being friends with them. Every man in my family has cheated on their women--my father, my brother-in-laws. That's just not for me.

    I think feminism is more of a cause for women than MGTOW is for men, but my observation is women are single more and more because they can't find anyone who meets their standards, and the ones who give up usually do so because they don't think that person is out there.

    Good question, thumbed you up.

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    • Thanks for your input... very well said.. and honest. It's tough out there and tougher then ever before for everyone.

    • Hey, butches are everywhere. Go to a gay bar and you'll see plenty, just stick to being a dyke.

  • Kind of, in short, yes; I'm done looking/trying.

    No guys ask me out, and the ones that look at me and say nothing are too confusing. I've fried that part of my brain trying to figure out guys and dating them. I'm still straight, definitely, but I figured to place my mind elsewhere until the time comes to me, waving flags and all. I do want to date a guy, but life (well, guys), aren't about it towards me right now, I guess. But being single is cool, too, so I'm not dying.

    Online dating just seems to me like people (at least my age) just want to hook up, and that goes against my personal morals.

    As for who pays for the date, I don't understand why this is still a modern problem. The first date, at least, until both parties feel comfortable doing otherwise, why can't both just buy their own meals?

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  • Its getting to be toxic for a lot of our relationships, I got into it w one guy on here bc of the pay on the first date thing. Like we're all spoiled blah blah. I'm like its not the case I was raised like that I guess its traditional then he blew that out of proportion. I think the men/women who had so many misfortunes w/ the opposite sex give up too easily and get discouraged gravitating towards other people who feel their pain. I always try to tell people to keep trying but its getting worse lol

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  • I honestly just don't know.

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  • people just need to lighten up and have fun

    www.becauseimacat.com/.../...mellow-kitten-big.jpg

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  • haven't given up dating but it's hard to find decent men nowadays. most of them just wanna fuck and go or friends with benefits. still hoping I'll find that special someone oneday

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    • Although guys always hear that decent men are in demand, when they LOOK around and see what is actually in demand, they discover the complete opposite.

  • Personally ihavent given up on dating cause I'm only 16 but I'm just waiting a little bit more cause m not in the necessary conditions to be a blue to keep a boyfriend
    I still don't have my shit together yet

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  • tbh Americans have been having sex a lot less. now the focus is on individual, single life and marriage and commitment a little alter down the line. it's a matter of wanting to live while you're young, for now a lot don't really want to be married or settle until they're in their mid thirties. personally I'd settle in my late twenties, but whatever I've always been more conservative 😂

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  • If you see MGTOW and Feminism as analogous, you really don't know much about either movement. The vast majority of women who are feminists by self description do not hate or even dislike men as a whole. This is common only among about 3% of vocal, active, movement-involved feminists. And I am not even counting all the women who basically believe in women's rights and equality who may choose not to call themselves feminists.

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    • yeah yeah... I am talking about this new wave man hating feminist movement. Sorry that I wasn't clear.

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    • agree to disagree.. I simply asked a question.. I am not here to save people. .. I believe this is stupid crap is happening especially on college campuses at an alarming rate. These new wave feminists are redefining what you claim to stand for... and it is seeping into the minds of the young people... I don't need to do work.. I understand all of it because it affects my business.. you act as just because your perception is 3% ... that somehow this is not affecting people... sorry to say it's much higher especially on college campus where the young get butchered with this shit. I just showed you a video of a feminist I admire and follow... by the way very carefully.. Kids will be kids and follow cults and ideological ideas.. I am not a social activist sorry... I appreciate your comments but I need to move on.

    • And by the way this isn't stereotyping... I know the difference in real FEMINISM and NEW WAVE.. I am not trying to lump everyone into to one box... the new wave is a cult.. . plain and simple...

What Guys Said 20

  • I gave up and walked away decades ago, before MGTOW had a name.
    Too much investment, too much risk, for too little return.
    The women who want me now can go back to the bad boys, who were so much more 'fun' and 'exciting' when the women and I were both 20.

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  • Once I realized that relationships with women were a sophisticated trap set by the state & religion (wealthy, powerful white knights) to force resources and power from men to women, all for purposes of generating the next generation of wage and tax slaves, I quit women altogether. Haven't been with one in 10 years and don't miss 'em one iota. Tis how we ended up with Titile IX, Affirmative Action, Affirmative Consent, Male-Only Draft, majority of state and federal spending on health, education and welfare going to women, men getting far harsher punishments for equal crimes, women first in the life boats, men working the most dirty, dangerous, life threatening, life shortening jobs, single childless people paying for single mother's maternity care, etc.

    Now we have the demand for free healthcare, free education, free childcare, free minimum income, free housing, free food and forced wealth transfer (socialism) from those that earned it to those that simply demand it for themselves. That's what happens when you give women the right to vote. Same happened in Rome (declining birth and marriage rates and then demographic replacement of the West with Islam).

    The left (feminism's love child) openly hates on cops, whites, Christians, masculinity, laws, the First Amendment, the Second Amendment, gender, borders and property rights.

    Broke my unhealthy addiction to women. My life is way, way better now, am far more at peace with myself and the world, far wealthier and never have to worry about some covert, empowered, privileged psychopath with 'muh feminism' and a vagina ripping my life apart right around the time I've no time left to rebuilt it.

    It's all a trap, bruhs. Don't get snagged by the gynocentric state. Trust me... it sucks. They're just two circles and a triangle.

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  • Long time ago, after I had my reality check. I don't pursue or chase anyone because I don't see or feel there is any point to it for me anymore. But I really don't care or follow either of those two crowds.

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    • Do you think dating is the same as pursuing and chasing? Just curious to see where you are at on this.

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    • How old are you?

    • Mid 30s heading toward 40 soon.

  • I did not give up but I did not start dating either. I don't plan to start actively dating anytime in the future.
    Despite me loving women so much, I just simply go with my life's routine. I believe, that some things are simply out of my control or out of my reach.
    Women don't love me but I don't care much. I can't depend on anyone for my own happiness.
    I just keep doing what I am doing and live on.
    I mean I have to be in charge of my own life as far as my own control goes and what I can make happen.
    I don't have money but I have a job. Where I live (not in iceland) I make as much as the average person does. I say this because I do not have high standards and I do not want to attract gold diggers.
    I also have a priority in life, which is relocation to the USA. A girlfriend here is most likely going to hinder this life goal of mine.

    Today I see relationships are commonly formed in order to gain some sort of advantage (money, sex) from that other person and then dispose that person. The true kind of love is - as I see it - nearly extinct.

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  • I'm having a fucking blast dude lol.

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    • I believe ya man... I think the urge for a man and woman to get into a relationship is GONESY.

  • I have. Most women today are overweight single moms looking for a wallet. My time is better spent on my business , health, family, and friends that appreciate me. As for Japan, they have their own movement called Herbivore Men.

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  • Job is more important, i dont give up but dont make any effort for that :)

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  • I mean, i give up on relationships that i know aren't going anywhere in a love aspect. like do i love this person, do i want to move in with them, if the answer is no, then ill leave. I've giving up on dating while i take the time to work on my body and get in really good shape, but i won't stop the occasional hookup.

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  • Well I'm no longer putting it as a priority. Just not worth the effort in my opinion. All the dates I've been never led to anything more.

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    • What about sex? you have a secret robot? HA

    • Sex doesn't come easy to me. And all the sex I have gotten was disappointing.
      I'm more focused on my career and school to put much effort into dating. Don't get me wrong, I'll gladly go on a date with a woman if she asks me out, and if she happens to stick around I'll gladly accept her in my company. But from dating sites to approaching women I don't yield any adequate results that warrant my time and energy.

    • I gotcha.. thanks for your honesty and input... always appreciated.

  • I don't mean to quibble over small details.
    But you seemed to think that MGTOWs and PUAs are the same.
    From what I've seen, they detest each other.

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    • LOL I just quoted one example... try not to blow it up into an actual belief

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    • I can believe that.
      To answer your original question, I would say take a look at the declining birth/marriage rates across the western world.
      Now consider that fewer than 20% of people claim the feminist label. MGTOW, even less.
      I believe you are attributing to them more power than they merit.
      Something bigger than either is afoot.

    • I see this now in my business.. can you help me get a man but I don't want to be attractive? This is really just the beginning... in my opinion

  • I don't really care for dating at my age. I haven't given up but it would take a lot for a women to come into my life who accepted me for who I was in the inside and outside and I accepted her for being who she is. I see dating as more of a challenge if anything and it requires a lot of work to make it work.

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  • i hate how i have to be the initiator

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  • I have.
    It's called a break.

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  • both are mind fucked

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  • No I haven't

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  • Shit kind of. Haven't been able to find someone for me and it's kinda lame, been single little over a year now

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  • why have I given up on dating. Simple. Sick of hearing "your not my type" and when I do find the person who wants to date me, I give 110% and get 0% back.
    Love is suppose to be a 2-way street. You dont always say "yeah Im busy doing something" and post on facebook your dog, or a place where you do your hair every week and then claim poverty.

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  • Relationship takes a lot of work and it is annoying. I work 6 days a week and got one day off and the only day I want to relax at home but your partner will want you plan and go out for that particular activity. As time goes on, there is marriage pressure, so at the end, I ended it and want to be single since I found it more relaxed by myself.

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  • Women like to attack me.
    Me actually spending more time with a girl willingly is like me courting death.

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  • Dating is not a wise use of time. Exercising, meditating, learning, doing projects, gaming and working on spiritual ascension are much more rewarding.

    The man has to do all of the work and effectively becomes a performing monkey. Thanks, but NO THANKS.

    I also notice a lack of loyalty nowadays. I've been asked out by married women, chased by women that pretend to be single and currently am being pursued by a girl half my age that has a long term relationship. They are always looking for the next branch... I'm done for good...

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