So I recently started dating this guy I work with... he's a tutor where I go to school (i work in the same bldg. on my campus). he's a really respectable guy as he's only had one long term serious girlfriend, has his bachelors degree already, and is going to be starting his masters program soon. i'm still in school but we went on a couple of dates and he's already told me that he wants something more serious where he could grow to love the other person etc. I don't know it all felt kind forced and I don't think I have a whole lot in common with him... he also seems to be very reserved in general and I don't know if he ever goes out much?
i just don't know if I should stop seeing him because of this?
- YesVote A
- NoVote B
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Most Helpful Guy
Why do people think everything is going to be perfect right from the get go? Like how am I supposed to be dying to see someone every waking moment of the day, when I literally just met them?
This guy is literally saying that he's willing to be patient and give you a chance, you're nearly half way there, you just have to be willing to give him a chance. That's all he's saying. Maybe it's not the spur of the moment "exciting" spontaneous love that non-serious people always find themselves in, but it could be in time. You don't even know the guy.
Just another reason why dating is near impossible these days, no one is willing to take chances on anyone. It's all just "fun" and instant gratification, all the time. The substance of an individual generally doesn't even matter.
"Oh here's this great guy! But he's a slow romantic, boring and serious... it kinda freaks me out." *he probably doesn't typically ask many women out, and is still not comfortable with her yet*
"Oh here's this really care-free, fun guy! But he's an insensitive douche bag... why am I even dating him? *keeps going back to him, gets feelings hurt repeatedly*
There might be just as fun, or even more times ahead... better times, but you have to be willing to get to know somebody. Guys that aren't serious about you from the beginning aren't typically going to change their minds. This guy might really see something in you.4THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
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Most Helpful Girl
Ok I'm going to say... First you started off saying all the less positive things about him and talk about him highly but once he mentions a serious relationship you don't want it. I don't get that.
I definitely agree its too soon. I honestly don't think you should stop dating him because of that. I would take it slow and let him know you're not trying to move fast. Let him know you wanna keep dating before you go into anything like that.
From what you wrote he sounds like a decent guy and you don't want to miss out on a great guy. They're hard to cone across. Take your time and see what happens before you just kick him to the curb. To me its not a good Smith reason to stop dating a guy.3THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
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