Guys, do you prefer to be the one to make the first move/ask her out?

  • Always
    Vote A
  • Mostly
    Vote B
  • Sometimes
    Vote C
  • Rarely
    Vote D
  • Never
    Vote E
  • Other (explain)
    Vote F
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
Girls can not vote on this poll
I'm a Guy

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29

Most Helpful Guy

  • Sometimes. It's nerve wracking to be honest. It actually takes two people for it to start. She needs to give signs, a green light per say, that she's open to him to make the first move/ask her out. If she doesn't give those signs, it's kind of hard to approach her with the intent of asking her out. Talking to her as just a friend or something is easy, but to talk to her with the intent of asking her out is a different story. For me, I need a clear direct sign that it's okay for me to approach her with the intent of asking her out. Making the first move is easy, it's just the issue of does she want it though? If a girl wants a guy to ask her out, she should strike up a conversation and smile and be receptive to him. Be attentive. Honestly though if a girl is doing that, she might as well ask him out.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 28

  • Mostly, yes, but there's a caveat. The reason I prefer to be the one ultimately being the primary pursuer is because I get more of a choice in terms of girls.

    The few times in my life where I was pursued aggressively by another girl, she typically wasn't my type. If she was very aggressive I might sleep with her to avoid turning how down but I didn't want her as a girlfriend.

    I wasn't good at rejecting girls in these cases. I didn't get much practice. I prefer to be rejected by a girl than to reject a girl who is coming onto me very strongly.

    If society turned upside down and suddenly there were all sorts of girls approaching me, maybe I'd start to reverse as well. Maybe I'd then prefer to reject girls than to be rejected by girls, and perhaps I could feel like I have a choice among all the females pursuing me.

    At the moment though, females pursuing me (not just showing interest but really going after me) is a relatively rare phenomena. At the moment I would prefer it never happened.

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    • Now "first move" is different. What I'm talking about is girls who come on very strongly and persistently who ultimately ask me out and compliment me a lot, etc. Those are rare at the moment and I don't know how to deal with them.

      If the girl makes the first move by simply saying "hi" to me and casually flirting and so forth, I like that since I still feel like I have the ultimate choice of whether I ask her out or not. She's not coming on that heavily that I can't just have a friendly conversation with her and move to another girl I'm interested in.

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    • Also with girls asking guys out being a relatively rare phenomena, the few girls who came on so strongly to me didn't know how to take a hint. I don't think they approached enough guys and studied enough about subtle body language and so on to understand when a guy isn't interested. That's something I learned as a guy typically doing the approaching to be very carefully aware of what the girl is communicating to me, interest-wise.

    • Basically the few girls who came on so strongly to me lacked skill and empathy in approaching guys, and I lacked skill in rejecting girls. That's a horrible combination that leads to the most awkward scenarios.

  • I don't have a preference, I want things to happen no matter how. I normally do it because I don't wait for people to do what I can do myself but if I'm interested and she does it I wouldn't care because it would be happening anyway.

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  • When it comes to make the first move, people with initiative are the ones that stand out.
    If a girl shows interest in me but she doesn't make the first move, she lacks initiative.
    If I see a girl across the room and she looks cute to me, but I do not make the first move because I'm shy/I'm thinking she will reject me, I lack initiative.

    Having said that, I like both things. If I like some girl, I want to go for her, despite the result. If a girl likes me, I want her to come for me, despite the result.
    Hope you find this useful.

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  • I've never think about making the first move these days with all the meal tickets in my area. Although if she has natural curls and heart throbbin smile My Body just flips into auto and just reacts to my taste. after i get the number i forget the whole smooth conversation. i have it bad.

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  • I be like "Wanna hangout tomorrow night, go to a movie or something". then just tell her lol

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  • No, wish girls could get the thumb out of their asses

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  • sometimes...
    but it will be better if girls do it as well...

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  • no i donĀ“t prefer that. cause it always puts you in the "beggar" position where the girl can just decide if she takes you or rejects you. i like being in that exact position rather xD

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  • I normally despise making the first move. Women here are judgmental as fuck. If you don't make them laugh in the first 3 seconds you have no chance at all.

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  • Never. I prefer the opposite.

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  • Sometimes i like the girl to make the move cause when i do i always end up getting hurt. Also I'm really shy so that's one reason i like a girl to make the first move.

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  • Stop expecting the guys have to do everything

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    • I'm sorry if I wasn't specific enough, but I did not mean to suggest that I expect guys to do everything. I don't think girls should be passive in a relationship just like I don't think guys should be either. My only question was which roles, if the guys believe in roles, the guy wants to play and which they want the girls to play in the partnership.

  • I quit making the first move long ago. They don't ask I assume they are not interested. That's been a pretty accurate rule of thumb for the past 75+ years.

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  • just like how girls feel when they see are guys are attracted to then. Guys feel at least 3x that when a girl shows the same because it is not whether a guy want to initiate but they are EXPECTED to. which seems redundant and stupid to me

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  • i like to ask but i think girls should ask just as much

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  • I'd prefer it if women had some balls to ask a guy out too.

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  • I don't really care.

    Go with the flow, play the game.

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  • Never. I don't like being charged with workplace sexual harassment and misogynistic cat calling for telling a woman she looks good outside...

    YOU make the first move.

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  • Yeah I like to be in control

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  • I don't care, as long as something happens with her

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  • not at all

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  • Nope.

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  • I've always hated this gender role with a huge passion

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  • Nope, never, I can't because I'm too shy :(

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  • I'd rather be asked out because I'm more of a bitxh then I thought

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  • It's a matter of the guy's personality. A shuy guy will want the female to initiate, while an outgoing guy will probably just walk up and ask.

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  • Fuck no

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  • I don't even bother anymore.
    If the girl doesn't make the first move and ask me out, then there's no hope.
    Even after the first date, I want her to take the initiative more often in the relationship.

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