Why do you think it has always been the social-norm for the guy to ask the girl out first? or why has it always been the guys job to court the woman?

it can really feel like an injustice at times, feel like a burden, it's probably one of the main things i have always hated about being born male. I've always hated this gender role so damn much, it makes me feel like fighting someone or physically hurting someone out of my frustration, anger, rage, that this gender role always or usually falls on the guys shoulders, we always have to be the ones to initiate a relationship. Always hate how life, society, expects guys to be the confident ones. If a guy tells me to Man up or grow a pair, it makes me feel like even killing him, of course i won't do that, because i'm aware of the legal consequences involved, it's just i hate how us guys are expected to be the confident assertive ones, unfortuneately i don't see this gender norm ever going away.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Ya tell me about it, I've always hated it as well

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What Girls Said 2

  • Because women like assertive guys. I can only be attracted to men who show their interest in me. Without a guy owning up to his feelings about me, not only will I not know if he's serious, but I also won't be serious about him. I want someone who is so taken by me that he can't bear to let me walk out of his sight

    You can call it a social injustice all you want, but that won't bring girls flocking to you. And the longer you allow this insecurity to fester, the more unattractive you will be to the opposite gender

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    • girls flock to attractive guys who are passive... including me !

    • @COCOCHANEL
      I'm not saying it doesn't happen in the way the asker wants it to, I was just answering his question as to why most girls don't. I have a friend who only likes guys who aren't interested in her, but she has terrible relationship problems. The girls I know who make the first move are also more likely to cheat and are less satisfied with one guy

      The danger of guys never asking girls out is that they get obsessive fantasies in their heads about girls who aren't interested in them. When they do finally get a relationship, they don't know how to communicate with the girl, so she leaves. He's even more heartbroken then and never asks a girl out ever again because he's depressed and hurt. Guys need self confidence and to be able to go after girls they want. Unfortunately rejection is a harsh part of life, but it's also an important lesson everyone needs to learn

      If you don't want a relationship, you don't have to ask anyone out. But if you're tired of being alone, then change

  • Sexism.

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    • i'm still assuming that most of the guys you dated or had a relationship with, they pursued you first, initiated with you first?

What Guys Said 4

  • Well, it's only a social norm because historically thats the way things have been. Only in fairly recent history (1989-) has that social order changed. Thanks to the internet and phones, has guys been able to let the girl ask him out. No you're not alone in that thought process, but you shouldn't get use to that idea. Only because women and men both find that idea typically unsavory.

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  • it's become that way because girls can attract a guy's attention just because she's a girl. so it goes.

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  • I agree but women are afraid of rejections which is why most don't approach. Also they like men with confidence and i think they van sense if you're confident or not.

    Primal instincts?

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  • Well, you see it in nature too, maybe its primal, cause women have more skin in the game when it comes to breeding

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