My girlfriend and I are both 21, have been dating for about 3 years now and are both attending the same university. This is the only long-term relationship either one of us have been in.
My abusive father kicked me out at New Years. So I've been couch surfing with friends in the short-term. Finding a place that's affordable and not over an hour from school is difficult and school alone is putting me deep into debt.
My girlfriends mother and stepfather when they learned of my situation sat my girlfriend and I down the other day. They offered to let me live together with their daughter in their basement. I was taken aback by their offer, as was my girlfriend. We decided it would be best to take a bit of time to discuss is and think it through before going ahead.
My girlfriend and I after some discussion would like to take them up on the offer. However I do have a few concerns. This being such a generous offer I really don't want to become a burden to their household. I was thinking of exploring the idea of working more hours on campus to pay them back but I'm concerned that it could affect my grades if I do. My girlfriend said that they like me so it would be fine if I just help around the house and contribute what I can from what I'm already earning. That sounds good and all but I'm unsure. Maybe I'm just over-thinking the situation.
The next concern would be how this living situation could change our relationship for better or worse. Since I've heard that quite often moving in together can often affect the relationship for the worse if both parties aren't ready. I would like to think that we are but how can you really tell?
What do you think I should do? If I move in is it really OK for me to just help around when I can and contribute some money when I can or should I try working more? How can we tell that moving in is the right decision? Am I just over-thinking all this?
Thank you for your time and advice
Most Helpful Guy
Well lets tackle problem number one. Are you two ok with living together? Well think of it as this. You would do it one way or another, but you have more of a saftey net than most. If you two trust, are ok with each others company, and respect each others boundries. Then all should be fine.
Second concern that you have; is if it's alright with the parents, or will you turn into a nuisance. In my experiences with this exact situation. You can only become a bother if you are more of mess. If you treat it like they owe you and not the other way around. Things can and will go south.
In closeing you seem like you've got a good head on your shoulders. Just stay humble, respectful, and kind above all there should be no problems.0