Hello. I'm currently in a long distance something, it's basically not a relationship because he said he doesn't want me to feel trapped or something.
But we act like a couple. He's really nice to me and all but i have a huge problem with trust issues. I feel like i barely trust him even though he says he's honest with me and i feel like it's eating me from inside out. We mostly talk on whatsapp and sometimes he tells me he goes to sleep and then he's active for 2 or more hours; it's these kind of things that make me doubt him. Also i'm really unpatient to meet him and want to make so many plans but he just doesn't seem tu put in the same effort. I often feel like i care about him more than he does and that he's currently talking to other girls too, and i'm just there as a spare tire.
And he often tells me that when he will be interested in a girl, he will tell me, which is stupid because why would he be interested in another woman when he suposedly cares about me, even though i live far away.
How can i build trust in this somewhat relationship that we have and how do i stop doubting him and feel this insecure?
Most Helpful Guy
I can't speak for everyone else but for me it's important to get a little "me" time whether I'm in a relationship or not so I might say that "I'm going to bed" when I mean "I'll soon be going to bed". That doesn't mean that I don't love the girl in question or that I'm interested in someone else... it just means that I want some time alone.0
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Most Helpful Girl
Honestly, this doesn't sound like a healthy situation. If you aren't even together and you already have trust issues then it's unlikely that the relationship to be successful. Building trust takes time but it fully depends on both you and the other person. How he acts and how he treats you is a major part of trusting. If he lies or acts shady, you won't be able to build that trust. So it depends on him as much as it depends on you.
You can try talking to him about it and tell him you don't like how things are going currently and that you want more from him. Tell him the things he does/says that bothers you. If he continues doing those things even after you tell him it bothers you, then he clearly doesn't care. So just communicate with him and then watch his actions after that to see how he really feels. Ultimately, if you feel like you're putting in more effort and that you care more, then it may just be best to move on and find someone else who will give you the same amount of effort and attention that you are willing to give.0
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