How to be successful in online dating?

Seems just about every guy I message either ignores me (I figure those are the non paying members as they don't even look at my profile) or blocks me. The few that do get a couple messages in and then stop responding. I've done just about everything anything says to make my profile look good (short of professional photos). And while I'm a bigger girl, most people think I'm fairly pretty/cute/beautiful. Any ideas on what I can do to increase the guys willing to talk to me.

Updates:
**I should mention that I message any guy that seems half way compatible, within a reasonable distance (3 hours or less drive), and I find at least mildly attractive.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I am on POF, OKC, and Match. I keep on people flagging me because (they sent me a report) of me looking like a terrorist. Gotta love sterotypes. And FYI I only date larger ladies

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    • See I just look like the girl next door (cause I am).

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    • doormat...

    • ty for the mh

Most Helpful Girl

  • Do you mean bigger as in Ashley Graham or bigger as in Melissa McCarthy during her Mike and Molly days? Not to be rude but most guys prefer a chick that is slimmer/fit. Yeah many like big girls but not in general. Online dating is harsh because unlike 'real life' people don't have to pretend to be nice to you. They can more easily ignore you or say whatever they want because you aren't face to face. So no matter what you say, how smart and funny you are, cute you are in spite of your size, if a guy isn't attracted to you initially he isn't going to be receptive. Also there are those men out there that prefer young women (some of them are delusional because they like a 50 year old divorcee with a beer belly and bald spot thinking they can bag a hot 20 year old lol) which is silly because you can't change your age. But unfortunately that is the nature of the game. People are more openly judgmental online. Maybe look for sites geared more towards people of your age group and weight range. Or get out and live your life. Do stuff you love to do and then maybe you'l meet someone.

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    • *are like

    • Not as big as Melissa, but a little bit more than Ashley. Also this does we may or be the problem with men. I know a guy that refuses to get married again after his 4th failed marriage, doesn't want more kids, is balding and overweight, yet gets mad because "the hot" girls don't want him anymore. Smh.

    • Yeah lots of people are delusional.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 8

  • Post your picture on GAG. If you look beautiful people may like you. Most of the guys are from USA. I think you live there.

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  • Don't. Online dating doesn't work unless you are in the top 10% of attractive people. Being bbw means that guys are going to over look you. Either get professional shots or stop using it. Online dating sucks.

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  • Online dating for a girl is all about filtering and being able to see intent quickly...

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  • message me a pic

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  • talk to more guys. Ur chances might improve.

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  • You're past your prime (35 years old) and you're a "bigger girl" which is a turn-off for guys.

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    • Wtf has her age got to do with it? Plenty guys like bigger women also... she's another 10 years before she's even classes as middle aged... after 30 woman have to stay single Becos little boys think they are passed their prime... Fk wed eat u for breakfast

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    • The guys a troll doesn't have a picture... probably a man in his 60s sittin in his yellow y fronts... wouldn't waste another minute on it

    • Two middle-aged women just sitting here and yapping about how you're still young.. lmao. No man will want you after 30, it's just the truth.

  • You are 35, no offense but don't you thinking it's about time to go in person and look?

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  • The only thing you might be doing wrong it was you are saying in your messages. If I'm being truthful, 35 year old women who are bigger (as you described yourself) are probably not in high demand, so you might have a hard time finding quality dates.

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    • Well the site I am on, has already generated ones and I frequently pick the less intense of them (ie: what's your favorite book, how do you spend your weekend, what kind of pets do you like)

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    • I thought about that, but it seems guys rarely say a whole lot interesting, just the basics.

    • That's pretty lame of them, not sure what else you could do in terms of online dating. Hope you find a good guy eventually.

What Girls Said 6

  • I had a numerous dating profiles
    I was blonde I would get loads
    I was bright red I got loads
    I was brunette and got hardly any

    I didn't message guys first I let them message me..

    so I done an experiment I had two profiles up one with blonde hair and one with brown... the blonde got hundreds of messages and the brown hair one got few and far between...

    just a wee heads up how fickle men are... so after that gave up dating profiles why should I change my appearance to suit a man? you'd be as well going the old fashioned root and going to a bar and catchin a guys eye... Becos their all weirdos on those sites anyway.. u can do much better

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    • I don't go to bars. I don't drink so why would a guy that does? Same with clubs, I live near a college town so all they have are the f***boys.

  • Online dating, I tried that and it didn't go well either.
    I had a friend that had guys texting her like crazies because she had some sexy pictures lol but it don't really go anywhere she stills single lol (she is like 40 years old or 50 years old)
    I do not believe in online dating. If you having an awful experience, you feel like it's not working and you feel rejected and invisible then It's time to delete your account. I am sure you can find someone if you go out sometimes.
    You don't have to impress anyone online and if it's not working it's because it's not meant to be.
    Try to do stuff outdoors, find a hobby where you know men are going to be there and you'll meet someone for sure...
    Or find a new website.
    Good luck

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  • Have a comprehensive profile and have pics from different scenarios that shows your hobbies, friends, long shots etc.

    When you start conversation say something more than just 'hey' or 'how are you' those words are irritating and boring. use funny pick up lines to get them smiling.

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  • The best thing is to get off of it, you don't really need these guy's confirmation because YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL it doesn't matter what size you are, people should LOVE you the way you are.
    Meet people in real life, trust me , works better :)

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    • Hmm meet people in real life, that has never once occurred to me. Seriously though seems most people my age are turning to online dating. If there is no one at work (not always the best situation), and you don't go to bars/clubs (not a big drinker) where do you meet people.
      Most if the single girls I know all say this same thing. Only so many guys at work and church. Taking a class around here will set you back enough you could pay for two sites for a year for a month long class. Most of the guys at the gym seem to be tools. It's pretty much the only option if you don't want to be lonely.

  • Here's your problem: you're making things way too sophisticated, professional and formal. I'd say take down your professional photos, stop msging guys and take sexy pics. All you have to do is just one booty pic and be yourself. That's what I did and I met the man of my dreams.

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  • Step one: don't

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