Who should say I love you first? the male or female?

details to the answer would be awesome too.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • anyone can say...
    but í wish women first...
    becuase
    chances of rejections is also low...
    it will increase the motivation of men
    3. my personal opinion and thinking that..
    í don't know why but people and girls having that men should always make the first move. and it's sounds bad too me.
    i don't think it equality... just becuase people made a decision or norm í don't know and people are following it.

    but it's really depends...
    on situation time and place...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Here's my thought on it. This is just from my personal experience, and of course I'm generalizing but here's how I feel on it.

    Most girls seem to typically fall in love first. And from what I've seen, if a girl says it first, a guy will either get freaked out, OR they will just say it back without meaning it and won't actually reciprocate the feeling for a while after. So I personally wouldn't trust a guys feelings were true if I said it first. It can also sometimes give the douche guys an excuse to label you as "clingy".

    Where if the girl waits for the guy to say it first, then she'll know when he does he actually means it. Then you're not clingy, you're not questioning his feelings, and he's not feeling rushed into them either.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 14

  • My personal thought is that since I'm typically the one pursuing the girl and initiating everything, I make it implicitly obvious that I have a great deal of interest in her.

    If there's one person between me and the girl who is making it far more clear, through their explicit actions, that they have a strong interest there, it's typically me initially until the girl begins to really warm up.

    That might not be the case for all couples. That was just typically the dynamic I had.

    Because of that, I don't want to come on too strongly and chase the girl away. As a result, I made it a rule never to say "I love you" first. I don't want to become too aggressive/heavy in my pursuit of the girl in ways that scare her away.

    She's the one that ultimately validates whether my pursuits are working, and so I prefer to err on the safe side and let her be the first one to express such strong feelings towards me.

    If she happens to feel the same way, then we'll probably never say "I love you" to each other, and that's also okay with me. I never placed that much value on such verbal expressions.

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    • Another way I look at it is that the girls I pursue are more "attractive" than me typically. That is, I don't get approached by girls left and right, I don't get girls asking me for my number all the time. I don't have girls offering to buy me drinks.

      If one of us is a "rock star", it's the girl. She gets more attention from the opposite sex than I do.

      Now in the case of me dating this "rock star", she is the ultimate one that really has the ultimate power of choice. I don't want to scare her away. If the "rock star" tells me, "I love you", I'm typically thrilled and I can then reciprocate. Until then, I don't want to take her for granted and start saying such things to her until I'm sure this "rock star" is feeling the same way.

    • That's not to suggest I put girls on a pedestal, mind you, but given how much more easily they can attract the opposite sex than I can, the one with the greater challenge of earning the other's love, as I see it, is typically mine. I have to be at my absolute best. And so I prefer, given this greater challenge, so to speak, that she is the one who ultimately validates my actions by telling me, "I love you". At that point I feel like everything I did has worked, and now I'm free to say it back.

  • Whomemver feels right to say it at the given moment.

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  • people should say it when they feel good and ready. Either person can say it first :)

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  • The answer is not me. I will not say it first.

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  • for the love of God, women please say I love you first. men are doing most of the things first. we deserve this if nothing else.

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  • The female. Men initiate everything else anyway so we'll let the ladies take this one.

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  • Who ever feels it first

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  • No easy answer, whoever says it first is putting their heart on the line so I think it's just a case where both people hold it in until they're willing to suffer a loss for a huge gain and they blurt it out.

    It's one of those questions with no real answer.

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  • Feels like male just love any female they came across that they found pretty or beautiful. But female on the other hand are more emotional or more real feeling when come to saying they love someone.

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  • It shouldn't matter.

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  • I don't think it matters. If you love someone, tell them.

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  • female says first

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  • I think it is best to wait until you have been together at least 3 to 6 months (3 months of going all the way) before saying that just because if only one person says it and the other doesn't, it is going to really hurt a lot.

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  • It can really be either. There's really no particular one. It just depends on the person themselves and if they are ready or confident enough to say it

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What Girls Said 10

  • Personally for me, it's going to be the other person (girl, guy, human, idc). I get really testy about I Love You because I used to have to say it to people when I didn't mean it, it felt less like a sentiment and more like an automatic response. So I usually won't be the first to say it even if I do love them.

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  • The one who feels it first and is confident enough to say it

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  • I think any of them can say it first. If you feel it and you mean then say it, no matter who you are

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  • Doesn't matter. Love is love.

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  • The person who feels it first

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  • It doesn't matter what gender says it first were all equal girls automatically assume that men should say it first because they grew up watching or seeing things that show that maybe thats how it should be but that's not how it should be it doesn't matter wether a girl or boy says it first all that matters is that if it's felt it should be said regardless of the sex.

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  • Whoever feels it first

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  • Personally, I would like it if the guy said I love you first. It's really romantic in my opinion

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  • only if i feel it

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  • If one person felt like the other should say it before them then I'd reckon they weren't really in love with their partner.

    If you are in love and you come to terms that you're in love with them then that is the moment.

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