Am I a Narcissist?

I am dating multiple military men. However, I have no interest in forming any deep, meaningful bonds with them. I want to make them feel like they're the only person I'm dating. It seems to be working. I have no desire to form any sort of relationship with them. I want to lead them on, support them, make them feel great, then cut all ties with them abruptly. Why am I doing this? I feel great hurting and putting supposedly "strong", "stoic" and "patriotic" men down. It makes me feel empowered and strong when I do this.

I have no idea why I am acting this way. I don't feel that romance is important to me. To me, emotions make you prone to vulnerability and weakness, it makes you less capable of taking on any challenges. I guess I am insensitive to other people's feelings.

  • Yes.
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  • No.
    Vote B
  • Other.
    Vote C
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Most Helpful Guy

  • You feel empowered because you like to see/feel someone broken because of you. To be honest, I went through a phase in my life where I had similar tendencies. I had no remorse for anyone because I didn't feel anything anymore. No one gave a shit about me when I was the nice guy but when I was a dick, all of a sudden the ball kinda found itself in my court if you can understand that. I had control and because I didn't give a shit I had the freedom to do whatever I wanted.

    But I hurt other people because I was hurt. Those people had everything I wanted. A family, friends, food to eat every day, a solid future. They had no idea how easily and without hesitation I'd have killed to be one of them. I got obsessive over these things.

    This is truly a terrible thing to do. Those people give up a lot in order to be in the military and a few of the ones I know are already emotionally damaged. It's not easy to have any kind of relationship when you get shipped off to a warzone thousands of miles away all the time. I'm sure there's always the fear of the girl leaving and then they come home maybe after losing friends and because they were dating a bitch like you they find out that they don't have anyone. I mean, what your doing is messing with people who are already in a weakened mental state.

    Please try to change yourself. It sucks not feeling anything. It's even worse than dealing with all the pain from the past and the present. You become a shell of who you really are and what meaning can life have if you don't at least try to have a connection with someone? Doesn't have to be romantic. You should surround yourself with new people. People who are better than you but would never want to make you feel that way. Learn from them, start a career. And learn to love people. You can't play the worlds smallest violin to yourself forever. I mean you can, but do you really want to live the rest of your life making everyone as miserable as you? Change, let yourself feel. It's not easy but I swear it's worth it.

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    • Why should I though? I am opening up to somebody who is brainwashed to kill and ignores their moral conscience by blindly following government orders? I think most military GFs are as brainwashed as their boyfriend counterpart. They are robbing 3rd world countries of resources and feeding lies to the media.

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    • Why do you think you do this?

    • They are brainwashed. The military is a cult. I have spoken to a retired USAF staff sergeant and he said the military is really a gigantic cult. I feel that the US will soon be like Germany. They want to empower themselves and dominate other countries and take down rival countries so they will become the strongest.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 14

  • No, you are not a narcissist. If you were narcissistic, your only concern would be about your feelings. You would be essentially unable to even understand that other people have feelings. Instead, you are deeply concerned about their feelings, and how to hurt them.

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    • Why do I feel happy hurting them? I have no idea why I have the urge to do this to military men and not any other men. I'm not interested in other men.

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    • Armchair analysis is a fools game, but my money is on your relationship with your father , not your peers.

    • I don't think that is the case. We don't have the best relationship, but it is warm. He goes to work often and doesn't speak. But when we do, it's cordial. He has never mistreated, abused me or hurt me.

  • You are manipulative, approval seeking and clearly have bonding and self-esteem issues.

    While those can correlate with narcissm, they don't necessarily have to. Aka you might or might not be a narcisst, but you definitely have some patchwork to do on yourself.

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    • I have no idea why I feel better by putting down military men. I don't feel bad for my actions. I realized maybe I actually want attention from them, and feel flattered by that. But why cut ties and hurt them? I don't know what this is.

    • 1. Because military men have a sort of legal authority by the state - so putting them down is about power.

      2. Bonding issues as I said already. You put them down because if you get to know them more you might start bonding eventually.

    • I guess you are right. I try to be detatched as possible, which explains my cold and hot behaviour towards them that they complain about. They really hate it when I don't reply or get really upset. It wasn't fun when you become attached. I was attached to this soldier when I was doing this and it didn't feel good destroying him.

  • I'd say you are a psychopath, you should see your shrink for this... Just don't turn to killing people, please...

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    • Please tell me, how do you see this comment of mine? How does it Make you feel?

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    • Well in that case I think you shouldn't bond with them at all... I agree with your mother, you should take a look at those movies, but remember, movies about war aren't even close to what actually happens. The things you see there change you forever, not even a lack of empathy that you have would keep you the same. Try watching "hacksaw ridge", it's based on the real story.

    • My mom tried to get me watch that movie. And there's another movie about a soldier's Halftime Walk. I avoided all of them. I have no intentions on bonding with any of my subjects because I will become weakened. Love is weak.

  • No your just a pathetic power trip hungry insecure little whore.

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  • It depends, Is narcissist latin for bitch?

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    • XD I seriously lol'ed when I read this comment. Totally agree

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    • Because people make ad-hominen attacks. They may not attack the argument, but end up attacking my profession, my looks, may end up searching my Facebook, or end up triggered enough to contact my workplace. I don't want all that trouble.

    • All good reasons

  • You sound like a completely selfish person so yes. You are severely narcissistic. I know you probably don't care but you genuinely need help. Its not okay to treat people like that. Its in your own best interest to seek help.

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    • I don't really care what people think. People are just conjuring ad hominen attacks here. I am here not to seek approval, but to gain a better understanding of myself and actions. I have no idea why I would do this to military men and not others.

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    • I am not saying you're trying to attack me. I am saying some people here expect me to change, fell remorse or ashamed for my actions by making attacks. I'm saying their words are unlikely to change my actions and I am trying to diagnose what I am doing. But ASPD does sound like me.

    • You very well may have it

  • Not a narcissist, but a shattered weakling. What you are doing could be strategy, but since you have no idea why you're actually doing it, that just makes you a head-case.
    Unless this post is some type of ruse, in which case it is amusing.

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    • I don't feel any remorse for my actions. I am not seeking approval or anything from here. Just better understanding of myself and actions. And why I do this and feel happy. I guess I might be psychopathic. But I didn't kill anyone or told anyone to kill themselves.

    • Oh well, such is fate.
      If you seek to better yourself, that's a start. I wish you well.

  • More like insane

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  • Yes..

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  • Totally bizarre!! Good luck in life

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  • Get help. You're sick.

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  • No, psychopath/sociopath.

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    • How is psychopath different from a narcissist? Additionally, it is unfair to put me in the same class as those who have murdered people. I have never murdered anyone or told them to die. One of my ex told me he would commit suicide by jumping in front of a Bradley if I broke up with him and I did not.

    • Most have not killed anyone. Narcissists are sort of unaware that other people have distinct feelings. They may intellectually know it but they behave as though everyone else should feel what they feel. I don't see you behaving that way.

    • What would that mean if I know people have some feelings but I don't really care? Additionally, I just feel empowered to have so much power and control over somebody's emotions. Especially from men brainwashed by the government to kill.

  • More like psychopatic. You feel like they deserve it dont you? Their weakness is how you justify your psychopatic actions. You feel no remorse.

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    • I don't. I just feel better by having power of these men that are supposedly brainwashed to kill. They are trained to be strong. By hurting them. I try to detach myself from any genuine feelings as much as possible. I laugh when I write those lovey-dovey messages to them because none of them are true. It's funny to see their reactions when I try to reel them back in after hurting them. In most cases, they do return.

    • It's the same as animals killed for meat. You don't give them actual names because there would be some sort of emotional attachment to them if you do. Or sentimental feelings. Just like animals in the laboratory as test subject. None of those animals have names.

    • You may hold power over them but sooner or later you will end up losing power over yourself.

  • This is a test question. Are you working for a sociology department, or what? LOlz

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    • Nope. I want to find a better understanding of myself and my actions.

    • Then it's high-level sociopathy, which is something way ahead of normal narcissism (but on the same line)

    • How is narcissism different from sociopathy? I don't know why I get a thrill rush from putting down these guys. And not any random guy, just guys in the military.

What Girls Said 5

  • I think you're just a shitty person, to be honest. It's not "insensitivity", it's just sucking as a human being.

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    • Would it make a difference if these men weren't military?

  • I'm going with pathetic bitch.
    if romance isn't important for you, then go be a street whore and leave men who fight for this country alone. your not being empowering, your being a low life petty bitch that needs to grow the hell up.

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    • Ha. Triggered.

    • haha yea its SO HILARIOUS. if it was any other type of man, I really wouldn't give a shit, but it's fucking with military men that piss me. military hits home for me because when your boyfriend gets killed over seas maybe you'd understand

    • So you're saying it's okay to treat other men like crap but not men who are brainwashed by the government to kill? I think most military girlfriends are just as brainwashed as their boyfriend counterpart. They are blindly supporting the government's schemes and following orders wjthout getting in touch with their moral conscience that the US is essentially robbing off 3rd world countries from resources.

  • you're a sociopath

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    • How is this any different from a narcissist?

  • I really hope you're joking. If you're not... you're not a narcissist, but there's something wrong with you. You shouldn't play around with other people's feelings like that. How would you feel if somebody was doing that to you?

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    • I know how to protect myself. I won't let that happen to me. I don't see anything wrong with me. These men are brainwashed by the government to kill. And if I could get into their minds and hurt them, it is empowering. I try to detach themselves as much as possible. I laugh when I write loving messages because I mean none of those words while they think it's real. However, once, it went overboard and I fell for one of them. The pain was real when I tried to hurt him. I try not to let any of that happen again. Just look at animals slaughtered for food. They have no name, just letters and numbers to identify them. And so do test subjects I t he laboratory. This is to prevent any emotional or sentimental attachment.

  • yes you are

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