My mom found out that I'm dating an older guy and she kept telling me that he's probably just using me, that guys only respect and like girls with slim waists and no body fat (I'm a bit thick), and that I'm too shy to even be having sex and therefore, I'm too innocent to be loved by anyone?
Is she right? Are some people just "too innocent", too fat, or too young to be taken seriously?
Most Helpful Guy
Keep in mind that even though parents do try to have the best intentions when it comes to their children it does not necessarily mean they are right. You can take her advice and just have that as something to think over, but this is a choice that, no matter what anyone else says, you have to make for yourself, either by urself or with your boyfriend. I would not say anyone is "too anything" to be taken seriously, it depends on the guy, and it will take many years to be able to figure out who you can and can't trust and will will never be able to tell for sure. Just use your best judgement and see what happens. Maybe he is using, maybe he is not. You could ask your friends about their experiences but honestly it just comes down to your best judgement, no one else can tell you what to do.2
Most Helpful Girl
I say that your mother is being very unrealistic. Not trying to assume, but she slunds immature and probably jealous. None of what she said about you and guys preferences makes sny sense. How does that apply to you?
What I gathered from what you discribed is exactly that: she's talking about you. Now here is the main thing about everything she said. The guy is older right? Most older guys sadly is hard to describe depending on age and your age. If he is like nearing his 30's, or mid 30s and your like 18,19 young then yeah. I will be highly suspicious of that as to why he can't or won't attract women around his age. The reality is a lot of guys as well as girls use each other in their own way, not just for sex. Being slim is just a society standard by peer pressure and social conditioning of what makes a woman sexy and ideal for men. And sadly, being intoverted, shy or socially awkward tend to not do well in dating when society tells you that being an extrovert and the opposite of that is, once again, ideal. And innocence, mainly sexual integrity and staying a virgin till marriage is considered prudish to secular people.
What she said has some truth to the overall reality of society. But the thing is that we don't know you, and who you are as a person to based those judgements on. What matters is that you knkw yourself as a person and that your wise enough to make proper decisons. Right now you lack a lot of confidence. And until you get away from your mother with her abusive way of tearing you, you won't know unless you try. I would not suggest dating men over 5 years. But unless you know what his intentions are, your stuck. But depending on his relationship views and preference. Nearly over 90% of people date for a sexual relationship in some way or form. I would tell you to wait till marriage for sex. You don't sound like you would be able to hand the consequences of it without that kind of trust in the first place. And your sensitive. But I don't know what you believe. I just feel that your making a mistake dating right now knowing you have all these insecurities that can destroy this relationship if you lack belief in yourself.0