I'm not telling him what to do, but I have the right to my preference and mine is to be monogamous until one wants to get involved with someone else. I'm not telling I'm he can't, all I'm saying is that I would choose not to see him if that's what he wanted. I would give him the same respect.
He said he's not sleeping around or sleeping with anyone else or looking to, but he can't give me that commitment. I told him I'm not looking for a serious commitment now and that takes time for me no matter how strongly I feel for someone because I need to feel comfortable that I'm making the right decision.
I told him that I just don't want to feel like a piece of ass with him because that's not how I feel about him. With another guy I may feel differently. He said it's definitely more than that, but at this point in his life he can't get serious because of circumstances and I totally respect that. All I explained to him is what I want. These things are, reassurance that it's not just about sex, showing he cares for my well being, I just want to be treated like a lady outside the bedroom and not sleeping around.
He said he does care about how I feel and feels he treats me respectfully, but because I care about these thing so much that I must be asking for a commitment. I'm not asking for a commitment at all. I'm just making a decision if it's worth it for me to keep seeing him or not. I just can't fathom why he couldn't understand this. Serious means when you're out, you say this is my boyfriend/girlfriend. You hope to be introduced to each other's family. You see each other several times per week for an extended period of time and this is now a part of your life. You're not only exclusive, but if someone else comes along you will not contemplate telling your partner that you want to start seeing other people.
It makes me feel very uncomfortable that he thinks I'm trying to tell him I want a serious relationship now because it's not the case.
Most Helpful Guy
It's not serious. Being bf/gf? You can literally pick up your phone and break up with them any minute of the day. That's how big a commitment it is. Buying a house together is a commitment. Having kids is a commitment. Getting married is a commitment. Saying you'll phone and break up before you fuck someone else is not that big a commitment.
Now if you don't want that, don't do it. But if you want to be a damn couple, be a damn couple. You don't have to go visit each other's families that weekend and there's no rule on how many times to see each other a week. It just means you're a couple and letting that grow and see how it develops and you won't ghost on each other, and if there's a problem you probably talk about it before ending things, depending how big it is. That's all. Again, if you don't want that, that's fine, but you can make that level of 'commitment' after you've spend 3 hours together.2
Most Helpful Girl
Ok. Ok. The girl here doesn't want a commitment or not asking for a commitment. However, she likes to stick to a so called "1 party at a time" That's perfectly fine. I actually do that coz I'm tired of "party hoping" (you know what I mean, for sure) since I got a great guy in bed. BUT we are not commited to each other at all. The thing here is that I understand that he's seeing other women (For sure!) coz we are not commited to each other. Men and women see sex differently. Men can fuck anyone they want without any emotion to it but women gets emotionally attached to the men fuck (especially to those who do it regularly) I may have had an emotional attachment to this guy I'm fucking with but since he doesn't want to commit (so I don't want to commit too) consider all the gates are open for both of you. Doesn't matter how good the sex is. Its either you accept the idea that men are born polygamous (that they will fuck everybody else regarless if you're not fucking other men) or throw the towel and find a guy that suits you.0
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