New long distance boyfriend taking me for a ride?

Hey guys,
So it's been less than 3 months since I decided to give this a shot. We have been friends since university but at the time I'd never thought of anything else but having a platonic relationship with him until recently after he had been persistently suggestive.
Its a long distance relationship. He got a really good job and I was happy and encouraged him but voiced my concerns about the whole long distance scenario and he insisted it'd be manageable.
I feel like I'm putting in all the effort. He always texts short hand , one liners and he's so uninvolved yet I always take the trouble to check up on him, how his day was and basically try to be a part of his life yet he never does. Atimes I greet him and all he says is 'I am fine" and never bothers to ask me in turn. I find this strange.
Recently I missed my flight and all he said was sorry. He's never followed up to find out if I figured another way out or when I leave _ nothing and I'd mentioned to him I'd leave today. We chatted briefly this morning and not a mention of it.
I confronted him a few days ago about how I felt and all he said was he is sorry I feel that way and that we should talk. Unfortunately, I didn't get to see him seeing as I'd missed my flight so he left. Sadly it's all still the same _ he kind of tried to work at it for just the day I'd brought it up but he's back tothe sane old way of doing things. Because of this I really feel we don't connect. I suggested to him not to rush into anything to which he agreed. Our conversations are rather lacking too due to his cagey nature at this point. Do you think he is just disinterested and perhaps has someone else where he is now and having me as a fall back? Texting is our only mode of communication _ no calls _ no nothing...
I also question why he would suggest to get into this if he cannot keep up. It all doesn't add up.
Your thoughts will be much appreciated.

Thank you


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • First Question: You sure he ain't 83 years old?

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    • Lol nope. He's 33...

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    • Uh! Okay. Makes sense. Well, we'd planned earlier to meet a day after I missed the flight and he had mentioned he had to be at his job the next day. I do know him_we have been close friends for a while...

    • Okay! I'm not saying you do or don't know the guy haha, just eliminating possibilities. Maybe he's nervous?

What Girls Said 1

  • He needs to put in effort if you guys are going to make a long distance relationship work. I would also recommend calls/video chat at least weekly, yes it's time consuming, but think about it, if you were in the same city wouldn't you at least spend an hour in each other's company per week? So it's not that much more effort to call each other once a week. Conversations over voice/video are also very different in nature form texting. It could be that he's just not a very good texter. You should definitely talk to him, call him, and talk this through. See if he's willing to put in the effort, if you guys can talk at least once a week.

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    • Thank you for your opinion. I plan to have a discussion about this yet again...

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