Does this guy really see a future with me?

He says that he wants to take things slow and not rush things. He says there's a lot he likes about me and that I am attractive. We see each other 3-4 times a week. We don't really text unless it's to make plans. When we're in a group setting we don't talk to each other much, mostly because we're both introverts, but he always makes it a point to be "around me." And he will walk away from girls who are flirting with him. When we're alone we talk pretty easily and laugh. Sometimes he's reserved with me physically and sometimes I think he lets his emotions take over and is more affectionate. Like last night, he was holding me at my hips while we talked and played with my hair a little bit. We hugged for a while and he even picked me up off the ground (kind of like a slight run into his arms embrace). There are times though where he's not super physical and is a little more distant, but I have noticed he only is affectionate when we spend a long time talking... almost like he grows more confident around me to do be able to show his vulnerability and that he really likes me. Sometimes I feel he's just really nervous and doesn't want to screw up so he just doesn't try. He's very respectful with me and doesn't make any real sexual advances although I know we have that tension... Like I was resting my head on my hands and he put his head level to mine and looked at me. But- He says that he wants something long term and wants his wife. He even made a joke about me saying something like "Oh, you're so attractive, marry me!" I kind of laughed and looked at him in disbelief as I didn't say that.
So at face value, he's told me he likes me, but I often feel like he's guarded and won't let me really see that. This is the first time I have come by a guy who does this sort of thing... most guys just go for it, but he's said how he is really patient and I have told him that I am impulsive and get what I want. So maybe that's the difference?
And I should say that another indication that he seems to like me quite a bit is we were at a group outing with HIS friends, not mine, and two guys were particularly flirtatious with me. A few days later he outwardly told me that the doesn't like either of them because he thinks they are not respectful to women because they flirt so much. I appreciate the sentiment, but I also think it has more to do with me than it did with them.


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  • I think he does, but he is just insecure, and unsure about how far to go right now. He wants something serious, long term, and sounds like he doesn't want to scare you off, or do anything to make you feel uncomfortable.
    You both are introverted, maybe he's more introverted than you, which could make warming up to you more difficult, unless he's around you steadily for a while, which explains why he's more confident about displaying his affection after time with you.

    I honestly think this guys just needs to get comfortable with you, and learn to be more secure with the fact he's doing a good job with the relationsihp. You could always try to reassure him a bit more, and let him know he's appreciated and the things he does really mean a lot to you. Building that intimacy bond, the emotional attachments, and the trust into forming a healthy relationship takes time. Give him a chance, i'm sure he will overcome this in time. :)

    On the other hand, depending on his past, maybe he's unsure about getting too close to you. He may have been hurt by a past lover, and maybe it's taken an effect on his relationships throughout his life. His insecurities may strive from that too, as he doesn't want to rush things because he wants it to be true and long lasting, but also he may need time to build himself up and let his walls down again.
    The best thing you can do is be there for him, keep communicating and doing what you can to build that connection together and strengthen what you have now.
    Time will grant many things, he may just need a bit to work and sort through his issues to become happy and learn it's okay to love, grow close with, and share everything from his life to his personal vulnerable sides with you. don't push him or rush him, just kinda let it happen and do what you can to reassure him. Even physically, when talking touch his arm and stuff, when sitting together, sit closer than normally. When you're out with him, take his hand to hold for a few moments, or hook your arm around his. Make him feel proud, and like you want him in your life, and make sure he knows you're happy with him too.
    I hope everything works out for you two, it sounds like you have a great match for yourself!


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