I am 24 and have been single my whole life, I'm a female. I am not shy and I am social -- I do all sorts of fun things around the city I live in and go to the parties I'm invited to. Even so, I've never been on a date. The more I try, the more I fail and can never find someone who likes me. People say love happens when you least expect it. Is that true? Should I stop trying? Is that when love will find me? What do y'all think?
Most Helpful Guy
It's possible - but so is winning the Lotto the first time you ever play it.
In real life, love is like anything else: it requires hard work and good decisions.
From what you say, you are social, get invited to parties, and otherwise do activities outside your house where single people of appropriate age are likely to be. So far, so good - you're doing what most unwillingly-single people aren't willing to do.
So, why aren't you getting asked on dates? It seems like perhaps you aren't sending out the right "vibe."
A few things you should know: guys generally look for girls who are physically attractive (but you don't need to be amazingly so, just decent), who are FUN, who are mentally/emotionally STABLE, who aren't overly clingy, needy, or demanding, and who are sex-positive. The more you can be those things, the better off you are and the more guys you will attract.
The other important thing is that MOST guys lack confidence and are afraid of rejection, so when they meet a girl they like, they try to flirt with her or show their interest by paying attention to her (many guys are admittedly lousy at this part!). Their goal in doing this is to see how you react, and they're looking for STRONG signs that you are romantically/sexually interested in them. Note: they're always going to ASSUME that you AREN'T interested in them until you prove otherwise, so you MUST make your interest in them obvious, or they'll question themselves and won't risk rejection by asking you out. Remember: they lack confidence and are afraid of rejection.
How do you show interest? Pay attention to them (to the exclusion of others). Cross the room to talk to them. Say hello, or better, give them a hug. Laugh at their jokes. Touch their hand/arm/hair. Compliment them. Flirt - be a little sexual, and smile/laugh about it. Be fun and easy to be around. Many girls don't "do their part" and so the guy never finds the courage to ask her, even if he's very into her.
You definitely should be putting effort into it, though. Sure, you might still get randomly lucky, but that's not COMMON.1
Most Helpful Girl
Things always happen when you least expect it. If you stop trying and looking for it, it will find you. It's like when you lose your keys or something you always find them when you stop looking2