Anyone else feel that girls have insanely high standards?

I'm 21 and have zero experience with girls. Everytime I try talking to a girl I get rejected. And I know most girls believe that guys who are struggling with dating should just man up and improve themselves. And I agree. I've been doing everything to improve myself for years. I study hard in college, I'm a gym rat, I've taught myself to play guitar and violin, to cook. Basically I try as hard as possible to be the perfect guy.
But I've feel as if I am one of those cursed guys who'll never be good enough and that whenever I meet a girl I find attractive she'll always overlook my good qualities and single out my flaws and use them against me. And they always do. As long as you have some flaw, she'll find it and destroy you with it.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • i have high personality standards.
    i couldn't care less about their looks but if i can't intellectually connect with someone on many topics then it's a no go.
    i set my future boyfriend to high standards mainly because they'll be a potential husband so i can't just settle for what's available and i'm sure other girls think the same way

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Most Helpful Guy

  • This is one of the excuses that guys use when they have horrible "luck" with girls.

    If we were to contact the last five girls who you approached, why would they tell us that they rejected you?

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 6

  • I don't think girls have high standards. I have very high religious standards for guys but I measure up to my very high standards so I am allowed to demand what I offer.

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  • first of all... NOT all girls are like that and guys also have sky-high standards when it comes to dating and stuffs

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  • Sorry, but the more attractive she is, the higher her standards are going to be. Don't blame all women for it.

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  • Not all girls have high standards. I might be picky with my men but it's okay for them to have flaws.

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  • depends on the girl, some do and some are low quality

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    • the right girl is out there and you will meet at the right time and she will love you for who you are even your flaws

  • No, you just need to learn how to look and behave more attractively.

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    • yes pretty much, act sexy and look sexy and you're already there

    • @CoolSky01 I think the opinion owner meant this comment with good intention, like learn to behave respectfully, socially competent and such. Those are all good life skills anyway.

What Guys Said 19

  • So you have to find the girl attractive to even try? See that's a standard right there that you're imposing. Generally, the better looking the girl the more she can demand (because she has better guys chasing her).

    You have to either lower your own standards or match theirs - nobody is entitled to anyone else's affections.

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  • You know why?
    Because you're trying to be the perfect guy.

    You should just... be the guy for them. Act natural, normal. You taught yourself to play guitar and violin - but do you really like those? Do you have a passion for those?

    Let me tell you a bit of my story.
    -I'm not buff - hell, I dislike gym.
    -I'm not sporty. I don't even watch basketball. I watch volleyball for the girls, not the sport.
    -I am a pc gamer. I just like gaming.
    -I play (did play) Magic the Gathering card games every Friday and Weekend.
    -I do not travel. I don't like sweat.

    I had 3 ex's and 1 current girlfriend. All of them are amazing (except for the one asshat who cheated on me, but hey - she's still amazing).

    How? WTF I live such a loser life. Nope. I live my life like I wanted it to be.
    Sure I get rejected because I have a belly fat, because I am not muscular - good. If we don't see eye to eye, what's the point of her being my partner?

    Just act normal. Do the things you want.

    And.. don't be the weird creepy guy. no one likes them. No one.

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  • Sex is one of the most powerful human instincts if not the most powerful. Whoever controls sex ultimately controls the relationship. When the other party wants something and/or needs it LESS than you do they have control of that element. Men want and need sex more than women so women control when/where and if it is going to happen and hence have enormous control over a relationship.

    Imagine all you had to do is ask any time you wanted to and you could find as many women as you wanted that would be willing to have sex with you. That is a woman's perspective. Unlike a man, she can find someone who will have sex with her any time she wants. So you could say that she can hold out for "higher standards" since she is not as sex driven as a man. She dosn't have to compromise just to get some booty.

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  • If you or anyone else find yourself wondering if the opposite gender's standards are too high, it means your standards are too high.

    Anyone can find love, as long as (s) he is willing to keep dropping their standards.

    By the way, I don't buy for one minute that "self-improvement" bullshit. You have to be true to yourself first. Otherwise, if you ever do get a woman, it won't be true love. She will fall for a facade you built over the real you. You want someone who loves you for the person you really are.

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  • Dude relax.
    Most girls will list a lot of things they say 'that are MUST HAVE' for boys, but actually when it comes down to real life is not really like that.

    So in my honest opinion, standards are bullshit.
    Because, actually, most of them are flaws of previous relationships that people take as a a rule to dictate how they will choose the next partners.

    As you said you have 0 experience, so go and get it for yourself. Approach more women, get rejected a lot, eventually you will get so used to it that you'll not even care anymore. Learning how to be rejected and stay cool about it is part of the game.

    You gotta mess up a lot before you starting doing things right, that's the rule of life. (unless you are cutting your hand off, in that case you only have 1 chance há 8) )

    Good luck in life buddy.

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  • Not really, because I generally don't care. Everyone is free to have their standards for a partner and if I fall short of those, then unfortunate I suppose, but doesn't really affect me. It's only when they start to complain that nobody meets their standards that I get slightly annoyed and that's only because I would think if they have high standards they'd also understand that means less people are going to meet them, which could result in them being single forever. Their choice.

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  • There's all the standard shit they say they like, which they probably do. But only a few of them are fixed to those things, you can be anyone and find a girlfriend. I think your attitude outwards affects what comes your way, be happy, handle your shit, enjoy what you enjoy, and some girl somewhere will find you attractive.

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  • You say they single out your flaws, what are these?

    You can sound very good on paper, have everything a woman would/should want in a guy, but if something else is a little "off" they'll see that as a red flag.

    Also, many women are stupid and look for the wrong things in a man. I got laid the most when I was unemployed and still living with my Mother. I was nowhere near being the successful, super social guy with loads of friends, interesting hobbies and all that. While I was qu

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    • So annoying when it posts before I've finished...

      I was quite a gym rat myself, but that was it. Otherwise I was a fuck up. Yet still got laid because I knew how to talk a woman into bed.

      What do all of these women have in common now? They're all single Mothers (none of them mine, I was at least smart enough to use protection). They all make terrible choices in men. But that's the majority of modern women today.

      But, you can change yiur luck if you figure out why they're rejecting you. Why do you think that is?

  • There's a study, put a hundred random girls in a room and tell a guy to pick the ones he'd have sex with and he'll pick up to 70% of them, reverse the sex with a room full of guys and most women would pick less than 30%. This is of no fault of the women. Guys generally have lower and wider standards when it comes to women. Raise your standards and you'll end up being surprised by how better quality women will treat you just because you had the balls to approach them. It's much easier to attract girls if you spend your time with girls that look way better than the average,. It is also much easier to get sex if you've had sex within the last two weeks due to the effect it has on your psyche.

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  • You are trying too hard. You have this desperate/entitled mindset that I need to do this to make them like me/because I did this, they should like me.

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  • Brother... I had the same problem. Even i tried too hard to be a perfect guy and i was in depression too sometimes. Then i stopped taking it seriously and started living and loving myself. Now i have a girl nor i struggled hard to get her nor she did... we just came close cos we were true to ourselves and to each other. So just Be happy and Enjoy don't wait for girl to live happily. Treat every girl like girlfriend 😉.

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  • You seem to be hanging around the wrong women.

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  • Most people do regardless of gender.

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  • Yes. Men's standards are men's reasonable.

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  • My brother is totally the opposite, he has zero dating experience and yet he told me he asked a girl out and she said yes, my mother witnessed.

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  • Depends on the girl but often times yes because they can afford to be picky

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  • The secret is to not give a fuck. Girls notice that and quickly start with the attraction. Happened to me while all my friends that obsessed over getting girls wouldn't get squat.

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  • Yes they do and then they complain there's no good men in the world when they reject them all.

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  • Stop chasing sick narcissists.

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