I've never had a relationship. I've dated, guys have ghosted me, I was at the almost point.
After watching all of my friends go through relationships, guys I liked going for my friends and never having anything successful myself I became determined to find someone. I'm obsessed with it. Overall I'm happy with myself and I'm okay being single but then my friends tell me about something great in their relationship and I get sick to my stomach because they remind I'm not doing well at dating. It's so unhealthy. I think I found someone and tell my friends I got it wrong again. Then I beat myself up for weeks because I fucked up again.
I don't know what to do. Right now I'm sworn off all men and I'm rejecting everyone but I don't want to hate men. It's not their fault. I want to stop feeling shitty it's not happening for me and not even think about it. How can I when it feels like a slap in my face everytime I'm the one who is always alone?
Most Helpful Guy
"I don't know what to do. Right now I'm sworn off all men and I'm rejecting everyone"
Well then, what are your complains about?
"I'm obsessed with finding a relationship. How can I stop?"
It seems to me you do not know what you want.
How do you expect to have a relationship if you have sworn off all men? Think about it because it's your first step.
"I don't want to hate men. It's not their fault."
Definitely true. So don't hate them for it and put yourself out of your own comfort zone and hunt a good man! They ARE out there. You just don't have them in your radar.
But you can always not do that (because it's easier that way), which leads me back to the beginning of my opinion.
Want to get my point? STOP. THIS. CYCLE.
It's all up to you to break it. I can only show you where, you will cut the line if you want to.1
Most Helpful Girl
Okay. I'm going to tell you what I told another girl. You need to just not think about dating at all, and just have fun and do what makes you happy. You see, people can pick up on when you're looking for a boyfriend. You give off a certain energy, not detectable by you, that inadvertently puts pressure on potential matches and in turn, turns them off. However, when you're out just having fun, doing your thing, there's a different energy about you that makes you so much more approachable. There's not that "invisible" pressure that puts people off.
So, please, stop looking for someone. Don't even let dating enter your mind. Just enjoy yourself.7