How badly did I screw up?

Today I (M 22) was gonna offer a girl (F22) I work with a ride home , just to get a chance to spend some time with her and see where it goes, and I failed. After work ended she seemed busy, and at times too many people close to her desk so I didn't take a shot. I waited close to an hour and she was still there. I went by her desk with the excuse I was looking for someone, completely made up, and she hadn't seen him. She even offered to call/text the person I was looking for but I said it was not a problem, obviously. Instead of offering her a ride, or just even talking to her, I stuck with that story. Heck she even asked me something else which I already forgot what it was and I know I answered with a very quick answer. Like even in that one minute she made more of an effort than I have ever made. And when I started to walk away she let out an audible bye! Which stopped me on my tracks and all I said was see you! All while she pulled the beautiful glasses off her face to talk to me- If that means anything, but damn they do distract me, both the glasses and her eyes

Yes, I sorta (completely?) behave like an asshole when dealing with situations like this, I accept it, and it's my downfall. I'm not one to give excuses, but until a few hours ago I thought she always seems busy, leaves work way after it's over, on lunchtime she's always around people and I barely get time to even talk to her and see where it goes; Except of course when she comes say hi at my desk on her own volition every once in a while on mornings. Not continuing conversation there I guess is, once again, my own fault. Last weekend we were together at an event, with other people though, and had a good time talking at times but that's about it since I've begun to feel something for her. I dunno if I'm scared of rejection or scared cause it's someone I work with and that can end badly. Now I won't see her till Monday and I can bet my weird behavior won't change one bit :(

So what chance do I have now?


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  • Ok, I'm not going to lie... that was a pretty weird and awkward story, but fortunately you're young so you're not alone in terms of ineptitude when it comes to issues of romance. So yeah, you're probably just scared of rejection but this is why you need to ask her out. If she rejects you, so be it, but everyone's youth is littered with missed opportunities that stem from insecurity.

    So yes, find a reason to ask her out, be confident, if she says no, don't give up immediately but move on if she turns you down again. You did kind of mess up, but you have chances to redeem yourself. Just don't wait around for another guy to make another offer first.

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    • Thanks for the advice. Well I've been rejected before and after that I move on, but more power to you if you dont. I guess I am scared right now, I haven't had feelings in about two years. Anything I should do different next time?

    • Well, from your story, it sounds like she might have known you were waiting around for her. My suggestion is to be more direct. By waiting around to offer her a ride after work, you're relying on several things to fall into place and as you see, when they didn't fall into place, things became awkward. Instead, be willing to be more bold and just ask her out. Choose something friendly and in the daytime so that there's less date pressure and just see how you two click when it's just you two.

    • Well damn, why do you think she knows? Not like I was the only one there

      Im thinking I gotta just start talking to her more. Which sucks cause small talk, in general, to me is a bore but in these situations you kinda have to. And be direct at some point, like you said. Just gotta find the moments to do so, which is the problem

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