girlfriend got pregnant; thought it was mine, the child was born, signed the birth certificate etc, now it comes out that she cheated on me what do I do?

As the title states, my girlfriend got pregnant, i was using condoms but I thought hey condoms aren't 100% effective even though I had some doubts because she had guy friends but we had gotten into issue about this and me being controlling, I backed off and we got married, the baby was born and now about 2 years later it comes out that the baby may not be mine, how I learned this was from one of her girl friends, apparently everybody knew except for me and all her girl friends decided to keep it quiet from me to apparently , "help my girlfriend" now wife, but this one friend felt so guilty that she told me, now we did a DNA test and the baby is not mine and my wife went from crying and saying sorry to becoming a nasty person along with all her friends being total bit@hes to me saying I'm going to father that child and that I'm going to be paying child support, an even bigger slap to the face, I think I know who the father is because she is still friends with this guy and her friend told me that this guy likes her, what do I do, am I on the hook for child support and this guy gets away and gets to live with my wife while I'm stuck paying for their stupidity what do I do? Also if it helps, I am in the state of California, help?


0|0
515

Most Helpful Girl

  • hi, for me as a parent it is always about the child as a priority, however, so so often grown ups cannot achieve this stance. you have been a dad to this child for two years, so my initial response is this, as his dad of two years do you feel that he is part of your life and you would want to continue to be his dad? i appreciate this could be complicated if you spilt from the mother, are you still with her now? i dont know about u. s but if you can prove you are not the father you would not be liable for any child support over here, you have a maintenance for ex wives though dont you? do you have a free legal advice service in your area? i suppose ultimately you need to decide what you want to do as in stay, leave, keep seeing the child etc then go from there. Although this is a harsh thing to say and im a single mum so i mean no offence but a child of two would most likely never recall you in their memories, thats not to say you won't have to go through that, unless you could forgive her and stay and make a go of it? is that a possibility? xx

    0|0
    0|0

Most Helpful Guy

  • If it isn't yours, divorce her.
    You need a good lawyer. Liberal states like CA try to make you still pay even though it is proven to not be yours. Even if ordered to pay, don't pay. If they try to put you in jail for it, once you win the paternity case, you can sue the county and your ex both if that happens.
    What you need to do now is put your vehicles in a trusted relative's name, take any cash out of your savings and have it in that relative's name in a safety deposit box, cancel all credit cards, and THEN file for divorce.

    0|3
    0|0
    • The car I fu@ked up on, in my infinite stupidity I put my car in both our names

    • Show All
    • It's paid for now but when I put it in both our names I only had several more payments so it wasn't that many.

    • Is it your only car?
      Maybe "sell" it to a relative because you are "bored of it" and LEASE a car for now. Nobody can take a leased car. Then soon as you file for divorce, you can use your current car again and just don't put it back in your name until everything is finalized.
      Courts suck and usually try to side with females, even when she is clearly in the wrong.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • Wtf?
    Get a lawyer asap. I think you have a small window (few years after the child was born) to get your name off the birth certificate or else you WILL be stuck paying child support until the the kid reaches 18.

    0|2
    0|0
  • No your not on the hook because biologically the child isn't yours but don't yiu feel connected to it after raising it for the past two years

    0|0
    0|0
  • You don't have to pay child support if it is not your kid and if you prove to the court that is the case they will be on your side and the guy who knocked up your girlfriend at the time will have to pay it

    0|0
    0|0
    • In some jurisdictions men are ordered to pay child support for children of other men.
      The system is not interested in justice. It exists to fuck men over... and some women wonder why so many men are going MGTOW.

  • The kid is 2?

    0|1
    0|0
    • Yes..

    • Show All
    • Yes I've bonded but the way this whole thing has transpired has made me ticked off and how they are going to try to stick it to me, you know.

    • Yeah if you wanted to not pay CS then someone else will have to step up & CA is a no fault state so someone cheating won't help your case. The Government tries to make sure that the kid doesn't get screwed in these situations & also tries to protect the Dad from losing rights to HIS kid if something happens to his wife because like I said after a certain point DNA is more a technicality. I don't think their is much you can do but ti sounds like your going for a divorce so talk to your lawyer or shop around for someone who deals with this type of stuff if you trying to find ways to just walk.

What Guys Said 14

  • First of all, take all of your savings and assets and transfer them out of the banks and to someone you trust completely. What you can't keep or transfer - sell. Stuff like houses, cars, etc. Challenge the paternity first. Once you are no longer the lawful father you can proceed with the divorce. Make sure you also find a good lawyer. I don't know the laws of California but I recently read about an identical case. The court force the man to pay child support even though he's not the father because his signature was on the birth certificate.

    0|2
    0|0
  • First step, get legal advice. Every jurisdiction has differences in the laws that govern such things.
    This woman is a lying slut, who has carried out a rather nasty (but not uncommon) fraud.
    If the law has scope for this: leave and disown her and the child; sue her for fraud; have your name removed from the birth certificate; mount an aggressive defence against any claim for child support and counter sue.
    Congratulations. You have gained a greater understanding of why so many men are going MGTOW.

    0|0
    0|0
  • My friend, you are trapped. The tears she cried were not genuine, but crocodile tears. Since you signed the birth certificate, you are the father, i'm sorry my friend.

    Ignore all the fools that say "hurr durr its ur child dna doesn't matter" the child is NOT yours. No amount of shitting out "U BONDED WITH DE CHILD!!" will change that. DNA does matter. You want to look at a kid every day thinking "that's not mine"? Then DNA definitely plays a part. You don't want to be raising some other rat's spawn whilst he gets away with dicking your wife. There's nothing you can do other than leave the country my friend. Do it fast.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Make sure you get a good lawyer for this because a liberal state like California is more likely to side with women no matter their slutty unfaithful actions and eventually forcing poor men to pay for babies that don't even belong to them.

    0|3
    0|0
  • This is why you should never get married or sign a birth certificate. If things go sideways, you lose; just for being male.

    0|0
    0|0
  • you owe nothing at the time you didn't know it wasn't yours divorce her and move one she's obviously a cheating bitch.

    0|2
    0|0
  • Holy shit this makes my blood boil. Get a great lawyer and fuck that bitch over as much as you can.

    0|0
    0|0
  • nuke the bitch in the court

    0|0
    0|0
  • Get a lawyer. This has really pissed me off

    0|1
    0|0
    • What's really fucking stupid is that a court won't rule in his favor just cause he's a guy.

  • If the child isn't yours, you can't be forced to pay child support.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Its time to get a lawyer, she got you in a bear trap, its time to get out bud!

    0|0
    0|0
  • I will give you a piece of advice I did not get when i was younger do not do anything she says be ready to fight the cops and kill if you have to, trust me do not even enter a courtroom it will be a waste

    Romans 12:2
    And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God

    and leave cause it is not your job

    0|0
    0|0
  • Go see a lawyer man she fucked you good.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You're fucked.

    0|1
    0|0
Loading... ;