Do I answer my ex back and accept his apology?


Okay so we were dating for 4 months, I cared about the guy a great deal.. and he ended it over just a few disagreements then cold turkey ignored... the confusion and pain was very hurtful... well after 3 months of not talking he finally texted/messaged me on 4 diff days.. I haven't answered and I don't know if I should... I appreciate any advice... my dad absolutely hates him too and my mom died 8 years ago..

Here is what he texted:

"Hey how are you? I wanna say I have been thinking a lot lately and I'm very very sorry for the way I handled things and all that. I don't know why I did but you didn't deserve that at all. I'll understand if you dont answer "
"Heyy"
" Hey I guess you're not gunna accept my apology that I texted u the other day... I completely understand"
"Hey I guess you really do hate me. I get it. I'm trying to just be nice and apologize to you"

Thoughts? Should I answer and what does it sound like to you do you think he also is looking to get back? I've moved on


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you've moved on, you've answered your own question. Looking back doesn't do you any favors. You can see the lightpoles you didn't run into. But you can't see the ones ahead that you will. Give him another chance, don't give him one... that's your choice. But in my mind he had his chance, and blew it. There's consequences in life for missed chances, and this is one of them.

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    • I absolutely agree with you and thank you for your response. This honestly showed me what he's capable of doing and I was better now than later... however he reached out to me 4 times already diff days... do you think I should say something like "hey I got your apology, thank you" and just leave it?

    • Show All
    • I was thinking of just saying hey I got your apology, thank you... that's it... I also want to make it look like I've moved on and not taking pain/being bitter about it you know?

    • Hmmm... well, I get that. You could accept his apology. It'd probably make him feel better in the long run. Just be sure to keep him at arm's length. Guys can very easily mistake an apology for an olive branch, especially if they're still single. If that makes sense, lol.

Most Helpful Girl

  • One text could mean that he just wanted to apologize because he felt guilty. Four texts however.. He's definitely trying to do more than just clear his conscience. Too bad he blew his shot. I would just accept his apology and leave it at that. He was a dick and he recognizes that, so I would answer back, but ONLY to accept his apology. Nothing more than that.

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What Guys Said 15

  • Well, if it took him months to get back to you on it, maybe there's a more sinister reason why he's come crawling back? If you think about it reasonably, if a guy is going to leave you for a few disagreements, is he really someone you want to be with?

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    • Deff not... and honestly I've been dating other guys and doing my own things getting back on track... but do you think I should answer him back? He texted me twice and the other two times were on the damn dating site... Should I just say "thank you I got your apology and leave it? I don't know why he cares so much now about it

    • As I said, it seems like there's something more else I'm sure he'd have taken but a few days. If you want to acknowledge it, you can. Just make sure he knows where you stand.

  • The first text is clear to me he wanted to get back.

    Now the idea and main meal here is :
    What did he do that u 2 broke up? If it is big deal in ur head and unforgivable. Then ignore him completely like he doesn't exist.

    If it is a mistake in ur opinion he can make it up to and u think he is the type to be there for u and learn from his mistakes..: then it's up to u :) do u want to give him 2nd chance or just break up without hard feelings so I want to hear the apology it's all up to u :) .

    TBH for me I try to go back and see what he can do in 2nd chance :) wounds mends and people forget and live on so might be good to date again but depends on the person. ( only u can evaluate that )

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  • OK to talk with him, so long as your emotions are locked up tight in a steel box, and allow closure for both + while you are listening to his history during breakup, see if he will accidentally drop clues about the gal (s) he's tried & struck out with... for that's why silent and now talkative

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  • I think that you did the right thing, move one. Some mistakes in a couple can be overcome and tolerated, but some different kinds not, so good bye !

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    • Do you think I should answer him to close thing up tho?

    • Yes, if things have gone too far and you don't feel anymore for him, since he hid himself in these months, be clear with him and tell him it's over.

  • There may be 3 ways to handle this:
    1) The mature way - Text him back, talk about it over coffee, draw boundaries, and act like adults. If you want time tell him, if you don't want a relationship tell him, if your hurt tell him... but without screaming, crying or getting emotional;
    2) Ignore him - This would be to indicate you are through. Do not play mind games, do not do it to get his attention, you are done and are not willing to look back. A once of message can be sent to say thank you for his message, but you would prefer to not carry on with the relationship on any scale
    3) Act like a child - Use his attention to fulfill your inner ego, and let him come grovel back, send rude messages, become a rude and arrogant person and enjoy his grovelling. Dont bother looking at yourself in the mirror the same way after this, dont expect anyone to have respect for you in future...

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  • Do you actually hate him or are you just really hurt? Have you actually gotten over him and ready to move on or would you consider getting back together with him?

    Acknowledge and accept his apologies but what you decide to do after that is entirely up to you. If you want to give it another shot then go for it. If you feel you can't trust him and are over it then let him know of that and continue with your life.

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  • from my experience, you can accept the apology and don't talk to anymore
    because you moved, and it's never a good idea to stay friend or in contact with an ex

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    • Agree 100%

    • Yeah because the next guy that she's going to date might be ready to leave too in the first place because if he notices that you guys are still in touch and friends this could mess his mind up, and start ask himself why are guys still talking?, and this might be an big issue and mess all your future dates if you keep to talking to him. im the type of dude that when it's over it's over because if you were good for me you would've never left me period.

  • He sounds needy as fuck. I wouldn't bother with him. Or if you want payback arrange to meet up and don't show up haha.

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  • If I were you I would stay on the path your on and keep moving forward, you don't need someone like that so he can get you back and do the same thing all over again to you, then you will have wished you stayed away from him in the first place

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  • No just move on and don't look back. Thats how i do it, once its over its over baby. there's no looking back, being friends, keeping in touch none of that shit.

    Cut him out of your life completely

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  • Please forgive him since he admits it says sorry. Because when we forgave someone that hurts us we grow and weak people don't ask for forgiveness only strong with heart ask for forgiveness

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  • Don't be too nice and sweet.
    Accept his apologies , but don't be in a relationship as of now... just let him be your normal freind... see how things go for now.

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  • Acknowledge the apologies but also make it clear that you have moved on.

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  • You accept his apologies but you make it clear that you moved on!

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What Girls Said 2

  • If you care to talk to him then answer however you like. If not that's alright too, don't let him make you feel bad or guilty. He's shown his true colors

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  • He could possibly be looking to get back together but its also a possibility that he wanted to apologize. If you have moved on I would text him back and say i accept your apology and that you have moved on. Just be honest with him.

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