If you are an ex, or have one that suddenly reappeared, would you give them a second chance? Yes or no? Why or why not?

I recently called it quits with a girl. We weren't official, but after she pulled the "friendzone" thing with me, I found out she and her ex reconnected, and she wanted him, instead.

Given how we met and some things in her life, I was ok with being friends at first. Until her ex got in. She knew how I felt about her, and hid this ex when I had previously asked about her background (she asked about mine and I was 100% honest with her).

It hasn't happened -- yet -- but some people have said that I will probably hear from her again. I ditched her after she seconded me for her ex. Some people said I will probably hear from her when she wants a second chance, especially if reuniting with her ex goes bad.

Male or female: has this ever happened to you, in any capacity? Did you later hear back from the person? How did you react?

Also: male & female, have you ever asked for a second chance? Why?

Many years ago I had a girl ask for a second chance. Since I had just started a new relationship, I shot her down.

Certain similarities strike me about my past and present. Anyone else got something to share?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I read today that 44% of exes go back and give things another go.
    For me, I have to say no. Once I'm done, I'm done and I don't see or feel the need to keep repeating the same-old. Also, if someone ever ditched me to go back to their ex, I would not be inviting them back into my life just to see where it could go. I already know that they have indifferent feelings towards me and I am the back-up plan. A total swerve for me.

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    • I read that going back to an ex is very common. I've also read that it usually doesn't last for very long.

    • Would you give her a second chance if she comes back and is completely honest with you?

    • I'm really not completely sure. We didn't have an extensive history, so it might be easier to move on. Then again, we always seemed to hit it off on dates and really got along, which is what made letting her go very emotionally trying.

      If she was honest and I did offer an extra chance, I would be very guarded. Getting my trust back would definitely take some time.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Not to me personally, but very often girls will give an ex repeated second chances. If you're unlucky enough to e involved with her, she'll always want to give YOU a second chance as well, when things with the ex fall apart... as they generally will.

    Somehow, girls think it's perfectly ok to hide their relationship with the ex from a new guy... and will get mad if you object!

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    • You hit a point right on. When I called it quits with the girl, I explained my reason since she wasn't honest about the other ex, and seconded me to him. She was really ticked when I cut her loose. I knew my situation couldn't be too unique.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Maybe i would if he shows he has changed a little i miss his dick thoe.. :( being honest...

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What Guys Said 1

  • I have heard back from many exes before but I immediately friendzone them and those that message with a very clear intent of wanting me back, i reject and ignore. It sucks to feel like you're some regret that someone took for granted and now they can have you and be happy again. Why don't you deserve someone who chose you first? And trust me, the ex will haunt your mind every now and then because she once chose him over you. I'm just saying.

    And i'm using the whole, if she can do it once, she can do it again.

    The only exemption for me is if 3-5 years pass and they are a whole different person, truly. Then maybe give them a second chance. My ex dumped me because we were just college kids who wanted to have fun. But I met her again recently as a full mature adult who was different from who she was, and if everything goes well, I do consider giving her a chance. But it won't be giving her a second chance, it would be like falling in love all over again.

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