Liked someone for ten years, and now he wants to meet up with me after I admitted my feelings. Does he like me as a friend? How should I act with him?

I had a bog crush on this guy I went to school with for years and never said anything. Nine years later I have found living near him and we are both single. I've bumped into him at events a few times over the years so we are acquaintances but not really friends.

I asked him to go for a coffee, under the pretence of asking him for advice on something. Our chat lasted like 4 hours. I admitted that I used to like him years ago and he didn't say that much. I think that means he didn't feel the same. He said he had considered it in the past, though. What does that mean? Obviously he liked lots of other girls too, though.

The next day he messaged me and asked me to go out for a drink with him and put #drinkingfriend on the end. Does that mean he sees me as a friend and doesn't want me to get the wrong impression?

He is a very tactile person but with anyone which makes it confusing. We held hands and side-ways hugged when we were sitting in his car and he kissed my cheek a couple of times. I think it doesn't mean much as he is just touchy feely with people. I said he was touchy feely and he acted surprised and said he's not like that with people nowadays.

Tl;dr: I've admitted me feelings for someone I liked since high school, but would should I do now since he wants to meet up again? How should I act?

He might just want to be friends but at the same time he still wants to hang out. What does that mean?

I think I need to play it cool now I've admitted my feelings but i don't want to do anything wrong.


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I mean, you really don't know. When you look up someone after so long, a lot of times it turns into a hookup. I mean, that's what everyone talks about, right? People look up old college/high school friends on Facebook and what not and they often end up meeting up.

    But none of that really matters because all you need to do is just take it slow and do what's natural. This could be the start of something fun so just be yourself and don't over think it.

    • i mean, I do and I don't know him. We were in the same friendship group for years and we would talk just us quite a lot. But yeah I don't really know him now so you are right. okay should I be flirty or just friendly?

    • You know, I think you should go for what you want. If you're flirty, I guarantee you'll pique his interest. I mean, it's pretty clear that you already have so why not just go ahead and be flirty. I'm willing to bet that he's hoping that that's the direction this goes.

    • i feel like if he properly liked me he would have said though. I don't wanna get my hopes up too much.

      But yeah I think i'll just act natural and friendly and joke about with him and see what happens. It's hard for me to judge if he's ever flirting with intent as he's v flirty anyway. I guess I'lll just see how it goes.

What Girls Said 2

  • I'd probably just go casual now that you've said how you felt... that's a perfect opening for him to insert anything extra but he didn't. That's not to say nothing is going to happen, but I'd just keep hanging out and catching up to see if there is anything more there

    • That's what I thought, he obvi doesn't feel the same back or didn't anyway. Okay, thank you :) I don't wanna get my hopes up too much!

    • Completely understand, especially if you had some feelings when you were younger. Still, anything could happen now 😊

    • thanks :)

  • Guys are sooo hard to read sometimes it is frustrating! I think he wants you as more then a friend as he said that he wasn't touchy-feely anymore, but was on your coffee date. Be fun and flirty on your next date. What do you have to lose! You will regret it more if you don't.

    • thanks - I find it weird that he would want to meet up again but then he said that friends thing which confuses me - he is obviously making it clear that it is not a date. I get worried if im too flirty that he will thing im coming on too strong. thanks so much

    • Then that's weird! Maybe he wants Fwb?

    • someone else said that to me that he might just want a hook up. I don't *think* he;d be the kind of person to do that but who knows. Much as I want to get with him, I know that I would get too hurt by that situation so at least I know I don't want that.

      He has still been texting me initiating conversation and stuff so I wonder what he wants.

      If someone confessed they massively liked me and I didn't like them I would be sensitive to their feelings and try to distance myself a little bit, not be touchy feely which mght encourage them. It also confuses me as he didn't say like a yes or no back. I dunno. Maybe he isn't tthat self aware

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