Do you deserve an attractive, high value partner?

Both guys and girls.

If yes why do you feel so?
If no, why not?

Do you complain or get frustrated when no boy or girl YOU want, wants you back?

  • Yes
    Vote A
  • No
    Vote B
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

Most Helpful Guy

  • Well maybe not "deserve", but you don't always get what you supposedly deserve. Sometimes you get more, sometimes you get less.

    Do you complain or get frustrated when no boy or girl YOU want, wants you back?

    Never asked anyone out so, no.

    However, I am frustrated at how much of your value to others is out of your control. A large portion of what makes one person perceived as more valuable or more deserving of what they want is determined by factors they didn't have direct control over. Sure effort plays a role, but I think its arrogant for the people who consider themselves high value to attribute it all to their effort and deny that luck also played a significant role in what makes them perceived as being of higher value compared to the average person.

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    • Interesting perspective. What are some things you believe are out of an individual's control?

    • -Anything involving bone structure
      -To some extent skin/eye color
      -IQ
      -How easily you gain muscle/lose weight as well as how aesthetic your muscles look when you gain them.
      -Your voice
      -Economic status of the family you grew up in.
      -I'd even say personality to a large extent.
      Part of your personality is a result of your genetics, brain configuration and hormone levels. Another aspect is your life experiences when growing up which were a result of what kind of environment you grew up in (out of your control), and how people treated you when you were younger which is also infuenced by things like how you look, how you sound, or what kind of family you came from (once again out of your control).

      You could think of someone's personality as being less desirable than yours, but had you had the same genetics and same life experiences as they did then you would have likely ended up just like them.

    • -And then for success in general there is also an element of "right place right time". Like unintentionally bumping into someone who greatly influenced your life or helped you out in a major way.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 17

  • Yes :) because i know i'm a nice attractive person with a good personality and even though i have low self esteem i don't think putting myself down and thinking i don't will help me.. i am taken anyway though..

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  • I say neither. That person has to be attractive to me, not whether anybody else agrees. A high-value partner is somebody who shares the same values or similar to you. Anybody who doesn't [not physically speaking], is not a high-value partner for you, but perhaps to somebody else. No matter how attractive they may look. What matters is that if the person has standards or high moral standards for me, and it fits what I need in a partner, then all it matters if we say yes or no to a relationship. And if they are very attractive overall, even better. I don't focus on whether or not I would deserve an attractive partner. What I want to know if that person is going to be good to me and somebody I see is good period. I'm more concern how one treats me rather than if he's somebody every woman wants. As long as you find them sexually attractive and somebody you can see being with long term is what matters as far as attraction goes.

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  • I don't know about "deserve" because I truly believe in being the best I can be so when I fail I don't have the what if thing going.
    But does that mean I "deserved" a high value partner? And who decides who is high value when in reality it's so subjective.
    I feel really blessed with my husband... I see him as pretty much perfect for me, but I work hard to be a good wife so that he too see's my value even though he puts no pressure on me to do anything and in that respect I guess I do feel I deserve him

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  • of course I do cause I am of high value lol
    ok srsly I am a really nice person and I give a lot to people I like.
    I have a great family that thought me good morals and savoir vivre
    I don t have any insecurity in regard of my education and I come from a comfortable and educate environment.
    I don t need a partner to be financially stable since I already am hence I am independant
    I am not bitter about guys because I haven t been hurt by anyone so I am a fresh start.
    I am good looking and I am active
    I can enjoy life and not complain about every single thing.
    ok I should stop now lol hahahaha

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  • I feel like i deserve that, since I consider myself high value. I'm not bragging or anything, but I value myself as a person and I would except my partner to value and respect me as well. Also, the person I'm with has to be decently attractive at least. I know it sounds shallow, but I just won't be able to stay with someone whom I'm not attracted to...

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  • No. I'm pretty mediocre but I prefer those like me. I don't like putting much effort into anything and a "high value " guy seems like a lot of effort to maintain happy lol

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  • Yes, I do. I know I'm attractive and have a lot to offer someone.

    However, high value is different to all people. I think everyone is able to find a "high value" partner because everyone looks for somewhat different things in a SO. Some of the guys I thought were perfect, other people didn't. It's all about perspective.

    I have been "rejected"/broken up with before but that's just cause I had different qualities than what he was searching for-which is okay. One day a guy will appreciate those qualities.

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  • We all do. High value is subjective.

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  • Yes, I do. A high value man for me is one who has goals, takes care of himself and has a good behavior

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  • Yes I deserve it because I'm worth it
    I mean I won't get frustrated but I will get insecure like why doesn't he want me back

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  • Someone who is on my level.

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    • And what do you bring the table aside from looks

    • Show All
    • Attractive yes. Your response was on my level. Implying you want someone as attractive as you. Dammit its not that complicated dude...

    • @imtheman0048 Like I said, I don't have the looks. I want other qualities in someone dude.

  • I deserve the world 🙂

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  • What do you mean when you say high value? See the man I like isn't exactly high value - he's a man I thought I'd never want. But our tastes change so... I don't know what you mean either.

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  • Yeah I do
    I take care of my appearance and been told I have a great personality too so I think I deserve someone who is the same as me

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  • i don't think about it in terms of what i deserve. i just know that i want it and follow that.

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  • No because I'm average and no I don't get upset if the guy I like doesn't like me.

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  • This whole "high value partner" thing is just another way to say "I'm a shallow asshole".

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    • Do you feel having standards makes you shallow?

    • Show All
    • "People are not money. That's my point. "

      No but money is a direct indication of a lot of personality traits correct? If someone has a lot of money and this is to be assumed that they were not born into wealth.. but if someone graduates university and moves up the corporate ladder very fast.. isn't that an indication of very high social IQ/determination/discipline/intelligence? Having money also shows that they have a very good quality of life assuming that they were well rounded individuals before.

    • @Chico_brah Having money, education or a prestigious job is not a measure of one's worth as a human though. They don't make you a better or more worthwhile person to be with.

What Guys Said 21

  • I went with "no". I don't feel like I "deserve" anyone, but am grateful when people like me for some mysterious reason.

    I don't have that type of high self-esteem. It's not low but it's not high either. It's just kind of apathetic: a "whatever" mindset. My approach to being perceived as confident came from a different source than placing a high value on myself. It was different from "self-love", more like "self-acceptance".

    It came mostly from just becoming uninhibited and doing whatever I wanted. If people enjoyed that and loved me for it, great. If not, I never let it stop me from having a good time.

    >> Do you complain or get frustrated when no boy or girl YOU want, wants you back?

    I haven't had this problem in a long time but in my teens, definitely. And back then I did think I deserved someone. I was crushing and living in fantasy land, thinking I deserved a girl simply because I thought I cared a lot about her. I got over that later on and embraced the idea that I need to work for it and that this is ultimately a game of attraction.

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  • Well, I know what I deserve. Yes, I deserve a very attractive partner with a very attractive personality as well, so yes I deserve a high value partner. I deserve a partner who would be say 80/100 on looks and either 80/100 or 90/100 on personality. I know I deserve this.

    I know I am worth it, I know the kind of person I am. I know that I am attractive, say around 75/100 and I know that I have very high morals, values, standards and so my personality is also high, say 80/100. Hence I am a person of high values, so I deserve a person very similar to me. A woman very similar to me. A very highly compatible woman, say more than 80% but less than 100%

    However the most important point is I never want such a person. I wish to stay single till death, so none of what I have said above actually matters ( logically speaking).

    Hence I know what I deserve and my own worth but I never want a highly attractive partner, high value partner ( Read above)

    I hope you know the difference between deserving something and wanting something or getting something for that matter?

    Some people don't get what they actually deserve. I wouldn't go into the details on this point, but I hope you understood what I am saying.

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  • I have to agree with @ak666 and @Shawn58 I deserve no one. I look for a partner that is acceptable to my standards, which might be high or low depending on who you ask. If I find one, but she doesn't want to date me, it's a shame, but I'll live with it and move on. I've never been frustrated by rejection.

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    • even the people i know i can get i still dont feel like i deserve them

  • Do I deserve someone whom I believe is high value? Yes I do. No more no less. They don't have to be deemed so by my friends or family or society for that matter. Its my choice and my responsibility.

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  • Currently? No
    Eventually? Yes

    I will continue to better myself until I do feel that I deserve a desirable partner. I would rather live the rest of my life pursuing a desirable partner, even if I never attain her, than to simply settle for an undesirable partner.

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  • Practically speaking, its dangerous for Men to have a more valuable partner.

    Women are hypergamous. Also, if a Woman makes MORE money that the Man, she is more likely to divorce him.

    Divorce Courts destroy Men. If he wants to keep his money, marry a lower status woman or don't get married.

    What is Hypergamy?

    Hypergamy (colloquially referred to as "marrying up") is a term used in social science for the act or practice of a person marrying another of higher caste or social status than themselves. The antonym "hypogamy" refers to the inverse: marrying a person of lower social class or status.

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  • At the moment, no. In the future, possibly yes. I haven't got my life entirely figured out right now to "deserve" a high value partner. Besides, even if my life was figured out I don't think I would "deserve" a high value partner. I know there are things I'm lacking that "high value" girls look for in guys that I just can't provide. Also, I don't think I deserve anyone. I look for a partner that meets my standards.

    Every girl I've wanted has never wanted me back. But I've never complained about it. It may be frustrating at times but I get over it and move on. Dwelling on it

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  • It depends on what you mean by high value, and what you mean by deserve.

    I voted yes because I think I am successful by my own standards and I'm good to other people.

    However, whether or not someone else derives value from my presence is out of my control. If they don't see the same value in me that I see in myself then it means we value different things (or maybe they just don't know me). So I don't get frustrated if people I "want" don't want me back, because that would indicate some fundamental rift in what we find valuable.

    But it is a little annoying sometimes for me to observe what other people value, since I often don't value the same things.

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  • Yes and I already have one.

    >I'm attractive
    >I have a top tier physique
    >I'm intelligent
    >Large social circle
    >Successful
    >Graduating University with an engineering degree and will be making good money

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  • I think we all have a different opinion of what a high value partner is. I don't think I deserve anything. I'll do what I can do and get what I can get.

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  • Nope, because I'm a loser. I mean hell look at me, I hang out on sites like GAG and type answers while sitting at my PC naked. There's 100M more men than women worldwide, it's not hard to imagine at least half of those are better than me.

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    • Cheer up! Women can't find Husbands. No Husband, No problem... I'll marry MYSELF!

      From the Article below...

      "But while this may all sound mad, narcissistic or completely pointless, self–marriage is one way to embrace the reality in which ever increasing numbers of women find themselves — wanting to settle down, have children and make a lifelong commitment, but being short of a man to do it with."

      www.spectator.co.uk/.../

    • @MagiAlphaOne Eh I already go on a honeymoon with myself more or less daily, don't really need to marry myself too.

    • Just trying to cheer you up with some humor. For more, google on "where have all the good men gone?" There is a world of frustrated women out there!

  • Yes, because it would make us equals.

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  • Yes, I'm working on my self esteem and self worth by the way. This wasn't always the case.

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  • Yes I do and I married her.

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  • There's value in someone who values you, and everyone deserves that much.

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  • Yes. Tey should be attractive in my eyes, and has a good personality

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  • People deserve who they want in my opinion.

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    • Even without putting in any effort? Should the other person automatically accept you?

    • Yes. But not putting any effort towards this is ludicrous.

  • no I don't know i never felt like i deserved anyone in life tho

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  • Do you deserve an attractive, high value partner

    LOL HAHAHA this shows me you lack knowledge

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  • This is literally what everyone wants lol even tho they have almost nothing to offer back. they still think they'll just some how fall in love with them

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  • there is an attractive partner might cheat on me. ( has previously done it though ) I would like to settle for someone less attractive than me.

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