Why do guys mess up even when they have something so good in front of them?

I went out with this kid for almost 2 years and everything was good. I thought he was my life, I loved him so much and I thought back then he was the best boyfriend I've had because he was so respectful and loving. He had changed a lot for me which was good and that is what made me love him a lot more but one thing I did not have was trust because he was very sneaky. I always gave him that "trust" to not look through his phone but any chance I got such as while he was showering I would check his phone and each time I looked through his phone he would always have text messages with his ex sayign hey baby I miss you and I want to see you...so that broke my heart. I'm an idiot for forgiving him like 3 times and we got on a break because of her but soon I forgave him because he "promised" he wouldn't talk to her anymore. For a while everything was very good I had no complaints until one day I was in his house and he was cooking so I went through his phone very quickly and saw that he was talking to her. That day was the last day I saw him because I broke up with him. It has been about 6 months since we broke up but it still angers me what he did to me. Who knows? he probably even cheated on me with her. Why if we were together for about 2 years and he supposedly loved me does he still have to talk to her flirting and let her call him baby and on top of that lie to me all the time and make excuses as to why he was talking to her in the first place. All I want to know is why did he have to mess up something so real? I did everything for him I was so perfect for him and he took advantage of that. He ruined me in the beginning and even though I am good now because I realized I don't need him when I think of him, just the though of him angers me so much because I can't get over the fact that he f***ed everything up for his ex. I am 18 years old and he is 19 and what angers me a lot is that his ex is 30 years old, fat, ugly, and all she does is play call of duty on xbox because that is how they met. Are you serious? he's going to ruin everything between both of us even when I knew he loved me and I loved him for a girl that is not even worth it? I don't understand. I just want answers because even though I'm over him I still have a lot of resentment towards him.


Most Helpful Guy

  • there are just so many things wrong with this question...

    "He had changed a lot for me which was good"

    no it's not

    "I always gave him that "trust" to not look through his phone but any chance I got such as while he was showering I would check his phone"

    "one day I was in his house and he was cooking so I went through his phone very quickly"

    are you serious?!

    i mean let's look at what happened.

    he TALKED to his ex. TALKED. that is all. he did not "robably" cheat on you.

    If you point out that he did something that he asked you not to do, you need to look in the mirror. Your promised to not go through his phone. You are just as guilty as he is.

    • Not really because I know how his ex is and he Promised me he wouldn't be talking to her anymore....not even that he was talking to her, but in that matter of baby this baby that? no I didn't have to take that from him cause he did it several times and I know I was wrong of checking his phone but I was insecure because I felt he kept hiding things from me. what he did to me was way worse than me just checking his phone and he probably did cheat on me who knows but thanks for your answer anyway.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I still don't understand why guys choose to f*** up good things. To cheat with uglier girls that just even worse. Also this isn't specific to just one gender because girls do this too. Especially girls that I have been with. I am the rare type of a guy that is considered "perfect". I have been in relationships where the girls f*** it up, not me. I just don't understand why people do this? It really beats me how someone could mess up something going so well for someone who seems so worthless.

    • It takes a lot of strength to realize one's faults and decide to work on them. My ex decided not to assess his issues, and broke up with me after a long-ass relationship. Good thing is that I've decided to hold out for someone really worth my while. Rest assured in the fact that your self-awareness will lead you to someone who will blow your mind. The problem is that, a lot of immature people will always want what they can't have, and since you are upfront about you, they take you for granted!

  • because


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