I don't think jealous type really matter. A jealous person would always be jealous no matter who is her girlfriend, I feel it like this.And for your question, yes, I will :)
Ok Thanks :)
it comes off as super fake sometimes.
Really? I'm nice to everyone but it's not fake. What do you think in these case?
Don't you like nice people? In what is it annoying to be nice? I don't really understand what you're trying to say by annoying.
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I'm not :)At least I hope no guys think I'm flirting when I'm just being nice. I don't think so since I'm nice to everyone equally :)
Depends on the guy lol. My idea of flirting is compliments and body language. For instance saying how beautiful ones eyes are and offering a smirk.
I'm just nice like, helping them if they don't understand something, give them food, smile a lot and bring them their book when they need it, give them paper or pick up their pen when it fell on the floor.Asking them how they're or all.It's just little stuff like this
You're good then. I would see that as just being friendly, other guys might see it as more as everyone's different but I think most guys share my idea of what flirting is lol.
Than it's cool :)
I would say so 😀
I don't have a tons of guys friends, I mostly go out with girls. I'm just nice to everyone.
Being nice is fine, as long as you don't let people take advantage of you.
I don't think I do
Maybe you'll find another one like that :)
oh trust me im looking. 😏
Like which one?
like she should be able to say no to something she doesn´t want and be able to still have her opinion and not just cave in just in order not to rock the boat too much.
I generally keep quit in those situation
well i mean i guess i´d like it. but i´m also not quite sure how that would be like on a day to day basis. cause for example if i´m with a girl and something bothers her but she won´t tell me, those things can get out of hand. i´d rather have a girl who can be straight up and not fear the confrontation too much. cause this solves problems and keeps a relationship healthy in the long run.
but then again shy is cute as fuck xD sorry if i´m confusing.
But if the things who bother her isn't from the relationship but something else? In what it's disturbing if she keep it to herself?I do it because I don't want to bother people with my problems.
yes but you see if i´m with a girl i want to know her problems. i´m there for that. i mean i wanna be able to share problems i have with her so we can maybe find a good solution together and i wanna do that for her too. like i want to be there for her and i want her to be there for me. that´s the whole point of being with someone.it´s not like i get into a relationship with the mindset that each should deal with their own problems alone. then why on earth do you even get in a relationship?
It's just that I don't want to bother them with my problem, maybe they have problem too? Biggest than mine or maybe I'm just being silly and my problem with be solve quickly.I don't want to seems whinny or anything.
no really i want that. i wasn´t joking about it. even if the problem turns out to be silly. i won´t think she´s stupid. i´d be happy to help. i´d feel bad if i felt that she has to keep things from me. it would make me feel distant to her. less intimate. feels like she doesn´t trust me.
i´m saying that it´s not fine for me, if you keep it for yourself and struggle trying to deal with it yourself. this is important stuff. my partner needs to open up to me. cause if she shuts off and doesn´t do that, i won´t feel liked by her.
It's weird, personally I would feel liked if my partner wanted to keep things for himself for not bothering me / protect me.It's not a lack of trust, for me it's just that I feel like we shouldn't say anything especially the bad one.But that's just a personal things.
i don´t see how it would protect your partner if you´re having a problem and keeping it from them.like even if it was something super bad that she things might break the relationship, i´d still want to know. i can´t be fully commited if i´m not sure if she lets me know about important things that are on her mind or not.sure you can have your secrets or whatever but i personally think in the very long run of the relationship there shouldn´t even be secrets anymore. for me the notion of completely knowing your partner makes or breaks the realtionship.this is exactly what i had initially on mind when i first read your question. i thought that she could be the kind of person who wouldn´t completely open up, which for me is a problem.
i like that shyness and see it like a nut you need to crack first. if that nut won´t crack at all, then she won´t be good for me, if that makes sense.
Like a lot of time when the guy lost his job, he don't say it to her wife because he doesn't want to worry her, he's trying to protect her. This happen a lot of time.Personally I would still keep some things secret because may be this will upset him, hurt him, etc.. I wouldn't it to happen and some things embarrass me too much to say so I prefer keeping quiet on it.I would never open up fully, I wouldn't want their image of me to change.
Yes, that make sense :)
yeah see "because maybe it hurts him... bla bla bla" ^^ sorry i know what you mean but this is exactly what manifests "lack of trust" for me and i don´t want that in my relationship. and if for example i had lost my job and i didn´t tell her, then i feel like our life becomes a lie. i need to tell her. i will tell her that we will be fine and that i will find something but i feel like i owe her the truth, cause she´s not just some random friend.
like if there´s something that might hurt me, give it to me. i´m a grown man and i can and want to take it. cause specially if that thing might hurt me, it is probably a thing we need to work out. and again being "partners" should make us work on problems together and not alone.
We don't see relationship the same then.If my boyfriend said to me things who hurt me I would feel he doesn't care about me. Like he don' care if he hurt me.I'm a protective person so I prefer them to think everything is fine more than worrying / hurting them.For problem I really like helping people with them and comforting them but I don't like talking about them to my friends and all. Like I said I would be afraid they think I'm a crybaby.
no i didn´t mean saying things with the intention of hurting someone. but sorry if i take a sexual example but this is the stuff you most likely won´t talk about in order not to "hurt" each other.so like either partner is not pleased in bed. and instead of communicating that issue to their partner in a respectfull way in order to resolve the issue, they keep it for themselfes in order to not hurt their partner. this usually leads to long term sexual frustration and break up, cause those are problems that don´t solve themselfes and if you don´t mention it, it will blow up on you like a ticking time bomb.
I wasn't talking about a sexual problem but more maybe like a weight problem? Like if your partner had taking a bit of weight and it disturbing you and all.I would feel very bad if I had to say to my boyfriend to lose weight or forcing him losing weight cause he can make him sick.
that´s EXACTLY what i mean! if i get too chubby for my partner and they don´t like it, i want them to tell me. i want to be attractive to my partner and i will lose weight for them. losing weight doesn´t make people sick... i mean as long as you don´t expect them to be underweight xDyeah it will a slight downer for myself cause nobody likes to be too chubby for their partner but then again i want to know about those problems in order to do something about it! not have her uncomfortable with me, cause i´m not as she likes me best.
I have weight problem so if my partner told me I had to lose weight, I would feel like a whale and go crying for sure. I would feel like they don't love me anymore and would leave me when I get older (you get fatter when you get older).
yeah i hear you but this is a communication issue plus not the kind of relationship i´d lead.if your partner gets overweight to the point where they are not attractive to you, you can´t just be like "get out of my life you fat fuck"... of course they love you. and because they love you, they will try to work out together with you. not be blaming them. you communicate it in a nice and positive way. this is a social skill you gotta have. just not talking about it shows a lack of that important skill. so for this particular issue i would do this in a respectfull and honest but not super hurtfull way.i´d be like "honey would you be interested in us taking this crossfit course together so we could be even more sexy for each other?" something along those lines.
i wouldn´t be like "hey lose weight, you´re getting too fat"... what kind of partner would that be? right a shitty one.
If you were saying that to me I would just be like "You know I hate sport" and I wouldn't do it. Problem is that I generally can only understand very straight forward stuff if not I'm don't really get it.
ok well if you hated sport, we wouldn´t be together to begin with xD but if you didn´t understand why i asked you to take the course with me, i will tell you why.there are ways to convey this. like for example first explaining that a continuous effort to be and stay in a shape your partner desires is a form of respect you can and do expect from each other and if working out isn´t your thing, then i will cook food for you and count your calories so you will loose weight. i will try everything it takes to help, cause i´m aware that i ask you to do this for me... but if you´re not willing to do this for me, then why are we together?
The question is more why would you want to change your partner? Asking a partner to change is basically saying them you don't love them.You don't know how many time I've seen my mother harrassing my father for losing weight, making him feel bad, etc..I don't see this as love but as abuse.
Well if your partner is slim muscular and sexy to begin with and then let's himself go till he's not sexy for you anymore, they changed for the worse and I think you have a right to be disappointed.
I don't think so, it sound very selfish to me.
it´s not selfish if you stay in shape for your partner and expect them to do the same, is it? i think it´s respectless to not even try. you should want to be attractive for your partner and try your best to stay it. if not, then just go for a guy who won´t work out and get chubby. then it is fair for you.
like i won´t try making my partner feel bad for becoming chubby. i will just ask them to do that for me, cause i´m not getting chubby either. if she won´t do that, then i will leave her ultimately, cause i assume she doesn´t even want to do this for me. it´s not selfish. it´s a reciprocal expectation. if you don´t have that expectation for your partner, look for one who doesn´t either but the most guys will.
Then I will try to find a guy who only love me for my personality then. i would do all I can to stay in shape not because of him but because I don't want people calling me fat but if even your partner find you unattractive then who would think you are?
dude loving someone for who they are isn´t a thing like you think. yes of course people will apreciate your character. that´s what love is about but it´s 50:50. you can´t cancle out a lack of physical attraction with a good character.
i mean of course even if you´d be super fat or something, there are still guys out there who like exactly that xD but looks are always important to some extend.
I'm good looking and slim, I just fear that if I get some weight while I get older or after getting pregnant he will stop loving me
yeah that happens. therefore gotta find a good one. but even the good ones will be into looks in the first time. utlimately we´re all gonna grow old and wrinkly but we should still make an effort to stay nice for our partner till then :P
This sound like a work contract really XD
well you expect them to not have sex with other girls right? sounds like a contract too :P it´s expectations you have for your partner. like you want them to do that but you also do that for them out of your free will.
Your ways to see relationship are quite weird really XD
:D they are not in my opinion :P if you´re not willing to do stuff for your partner, then you can´t expect your partner to do stuff for you right? reciprocity is key.
The things is I don't expect my partner to do anything for me, he do what he want. Who i'm to force you to do things?
don´t tell me you got no expectations for your partner xD i won´t buy it.
Except being loyal, I don't really have one.
so what if they only shower once a week, are unemployed and look like a hobo? you fine with that?
Why would they think she's easy if she's just being nice? It's not like I would wear revealing clothes or lot of make up.
nice as in "librarian-nice" I would have no issues withnice as in "flirting-nice" I would not.
make sure NOT to give them the wrong impression. you know how most of us guys are!
I don't think I give the wrong impression, they see me more like a little sister type more than anything
ok then they won't ask you out!
No, they won't. We know each other for a 2 years and they never asked me out
I can't help it, it's my personality plus I'm always worried to say something bad and people wouldn't like me anymore.
Character is built by doing mistakes, Never be worried of what you say. Think then rethink and then say it. People will always love you if yiu are comfortable in your own skin. Anyway, if your personality is silent type, then it's your choice but never be afraid to say something, by saying something you built your importance!
I prefer keeping quiet than saying a mistake. I don't want to get bullied again. People are very judgmental so I prefer keeping things for me.
then you need a better environment
Not like I can change it, I have to get my degree
They come across as fake and I get bored with people like that very quickly.
I don't really understand why some people think being nice is fake, honestly.
Because she's nice to everyone and do things the other guys ask?
It is possible lol