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Yes they are dependent but I am not their slave. I will focus on my own goals and then on theirs. I raise the to independent. If people don't agree they can kiss my... I will be mother and wife equally.
I am not like that.. I don't understand why to spoil them so much. I have love in my hands so I will take care of myself first, so no needy brat.
Yes kids needs need to be fullfied. But I always will be my own priority. I decide what's best for me before my kids. I don't need to listen to my kids what should I do. I am my own person and learn them to be. As for husband, two different loves. And how you can say they don't come even close? How you can compare. I will always be affectionate towards my husband and have sex on daily basis. I will raise my kids to be best people on my daily basic and shower them with love. I am not slave to my kids.
Kids require much more attention and care then an adult spouse. You shouldn't listen to your kids every wish, of course. I say this because if most people in their right mind had to choose between saving their children's lives , or their spouses lives , you already know the children would Be the first priority. A parents love for their children goes way past the love someone has for their partner.
Don't mistake saving somebody with priority. That's two different things. Maybe your parents didn't give you enough love so you want your child to be your priority (I am just guessing). In my opinion, child and husband are your family. In family should everyone be the number one. Need and loving somebody are two different things.
Lol no, my mother made a commitment to raise me as best as she could and to always make her kids her first priority , I was raised with morals that I will keep with my own children. Both are family but both need completely different amounts of attention. Your husband doesn't need you to come to all of his work meetings to cheer him on, or make him his breakfast and lunch so he doesn't starve , your children do.
If my husband came from work and he is exhausted I would gladly serve him lunch. If I serve for my children and me I don't think big deal to cook for one more person. My mom gave my full attention too, she was single mother. Kids need you for protection and caretaking. Your so needs you for affection, passion and as companion. Why we marry in first place? To be with our other half and kids are add on to our marriage. If woman can't love child and spouse equally they should stay single moms. Everyone has different opinion and feel different I don't blame. But I feel I came to world to find my soulmate and have loving family.
Oh wow.. good luck with raising spoiled brats. If you have family! ily and love them you don't have to prioritize. Ofc you will cook and take care of your kids.. what else? They don't need you to kiss their ass. They will find new partner and put them above you. If they neglect kids they are selfish and they would neglect them even when they weren't in relationship with man. If they are four you will out and kiss them a lot. When they are older you don't need to do that. You still have to do that with husband.
If I have kids, I would hug them a lot, help them with homework, prepare their bag for school, play with them, etc...All the things my mother didn't do to me. Kids need you more than your spouse.
Because your mother did mistake it doesn't mean you should neglect your spouse now. You should have place in heart for both. Me, for myself I would love my husband slightly more. On the other hand I would spend less time with him because kids are dependent on myself. Well at least first years.
I wouldn't neglect him, if my spouse need me I would be there but I would always put my child before anything else.
But your child will move on and you have only life. You should still have same relationship with partner after kids. Children will only benefit from strong relationship. Child will always want your attention with no limits, so if you give them limits and find time for spouse it's not damaging. Damaging is trying to fullfil all their needs (I mean that they don't even need).
Well I feel having children is a choice. so if someone isn't up to the responsibility they should think twice. I also feel that only people with strong relationships should have children because they are setting an example. And no one is saying neglect your spouse. But I think a lot of people don't think ahead.
as an example there is a lady at church who goes to every event and drags her kids along and you can see the resentment in the kids. so while I am an advocate of church I think some things are more important and children in my book are number one. you are right needs do need to be met the problem is that many parents don't understand the difference between need and want. I have a friend who taught her daughter to be incredibly independent and she is able to play by herself and do things on her own giving her parents the opportunity to take care of each other. I myself was raised with a minimum of supervision and I am pretty darn independent my friends constantly tell me they'd like to help me because I always help them so much. And I tell them when its something I can't handle on my own I'll hit then up. the answer here is not to cuddle a child excessively and to only hold their hand as much as necessary. parents that put their kids in a plastic bubble are doing them no favors
Well Bible says that God should be first spouse second and then kids... It worked for years like that but now children are becoming centre.
you're right. But I think a little perspective is in order. if God blesses someone with children then wouldn't it be their duty to be the best parent possible. I think being a faithful spouse to God means being the best custodians of the gifts He has graciously and generously bestowed upon us
Our priest says marriage should be priority. Union between parents should be on top. Kids are blessing for them. Still, every mom would die for kids, but maybe not for spouse, while man would die for both.
i don't know if priority is the word I would use. I like to think of things in this life as part of a tapestry. while each strand might be a very fine and beautiful thread together they make up a picture that outshines the individual threads. marriage is incredibly important. But that does not mean that children should be sacrificed for its sake. it is important to set a good example of marriage for the children so they will know how to behave when it is their time. And when spouses support one another the task of raising children is made easier.
bear in mind that children (especially toddlers and newborn) will require more time, more time and attention doesn't = importance or directly address the nutshell of this question as asked.
Must? That's not necessity to make their life good.
"Do you agree that you should put your kids above yourself and spouse?" is the same that "do you agree your kids should be your priority?". Yes, i agree. You must put your kids above you/ make them your priority, at least in the first years of their lives, so they'll have the chance to be their best in all aspects. Making them your priority doesn't mean you're going to neglect yourself and your spouse... Just as juicyjessie said, "the parents must be in top form to be able to provide for the kids properly". When you neglect yourself and your spouse you're not making your kids' life any better, quite the opposite (and if you don't care about this, they're not your priority). Maybe we have different conceptions of what putting your kids first is.
Well marriage should in my opinion be priority. You need to show your kids happy parents so they will have well balanced life. If you let your child exhaust you, you will suffer.
Yes i agree with you :) :D
I don't feel this way and I will have them anyway. Lol in family all should be equal. Romance and motherhood will be equal.
It's not truth kids will be neglected. I was no1 and I didn't see love between my parents and then I felt neglected. So I feel kids needs are more important when they are younger but relationship between partners is even more.