They say I'm intimidating. I think I'm friendly and nice. What gives?

Hello! I am new to the board. I am a recent (last year) widow. Married for 23 years. So, started on line dating with Match. com. I'm 5'9" (tall), considered very attractive for my age. Intelligent, nice, empathic, kind. I have lots of friends. I am self sufficient. My husband adored me. So, I met seven men for coffee over the space of four months. Of the seven, I liked three and continued to see them for about a month each. I would have been happy to continue seeing them but... the first one turned out to be married. The second one just disappeared after being seemingly quite interested. The third one (newly divorced from a horrible divorce) told me (after watching me like I was a bug on the wall for a month) he didn't want to be my "transition" relationship and that I needed to go and "practice" first. I learned that I like intelligent men and was happy to date someone my height or even shorter and that interesting men came in all packages. I thought that, if they were on Match. com, they wanted a relationship. But, it seems that they don't, or maybe it's me.

1. What can I do to be less "intimidating?" My husband was not intimidated by me, and neither were these three men I dated (at least that's what I think) but it still didn't work.
2. Are men afraid of me because I am a widow and that I was possibly trying to fill that space? Can men tell? Should I not tell men I'm a widow?
3. What is "practicing?" Obviously not a "serious" relationship, but I can't imagine getting involved with a man if it's NOT serious. I am not a "casual" kinda gal. So, I feel stuck. There's no point in even trying.
4. Do you believe in this "transition" relationship idea? Is this a real thing?
They say I'm intimidating. I think I'm friendly and nice. What gives?
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