Are codependents safer without love?

Having come from a very abusive environment as a child, I've discovered now as an adult I am extremely codependent, mostly with the men I date. Though I attend meetings and therapy, I get so into my relationships that when they end, I fall into a depression that has, on more than one occasion, landed me in the emergency room or an inpatient treatment center.

Being desperate to ease the pain of a recent breakup, I began a friends with benefits relationship with a friend of mine. I'm still struggling hard with the breakup, but I've found that although I love my friend for who he is, I have absolutely no romantic feelings for him. When I realized that I, for the first time in my life, am comfortable having a physical relationship with someone I don't love, I at the same time felt extremely safe.

I realize the threat of developing feelings later looms above me and I might be putting myself in a situation that sets me up for failure, but I've grown to wonder if, as an extremely codependent person, is it safer to just not be in a relationship ever again? Is it possibly healthier for me to not seek love ever again, but to take part in this no strings attached relationship, to enjoy his affection and comfort while I have him and to continue my life as a single woman when he leaves?

After the setbacks I have had, I feel like it's more dangerous to actually date and have an actual boyfriend than to do what I'm doing and was wondering what people's opinions were.

To clear things up, I do not feel attached to my friends with benefits at all. I don't feel the need to see him all the time, to text him, hang out with him, etc. it's the first time I've been involved with a guy where I don't feel that sort of attachment and it's a relief.
Are codependents safer without love?
1
1
Add Opinion