I've just come out of this situation where I was getting to know this guy as a friend with intents of becoming romantically involved. I found out tonight that he has been dating other girls for weeks and I am just crushed that he only found me good for sex and not good enough to date. We didn't have sex, but we had been talking about it. Why was I not good enough for him to date?
Most Helpful Girl
While its true that initial attraction is physical/sexual, too much sex talk early on changes the dynamic of the relationship. I found this out the hard way my freshman year in college. I just thought, hey, I like to talk about hooking up, so do they, what's the problem? But it was a problem.
A guy will usually try to talk/have sex early on and why wouldn't they? It was their physical attraction to you that made them call you in the first place right? It's ok not to be a prude and say a few things about it early on, but don't let that dominate the conversation. It forces you both to get to know each other as real people and see if you like each other. If he bails, then to hell with him. He would've bailed on you right after sex anyway.
Through my experience, while there have been 1 or 2 to bolt when I didn't give in to the dirty talk early on, most of them have sought relationships with me since I changed the way I acted. I couldn't believe it was that simple. I knew I was a girl with a lot to offer and not a slutty girl in the slightest, but the way I was talking and acting told these men otherwise.
Now, I draw a line until a certain period of time with these guys. I'll reveal a little information and laugh at sexual jokes, but most of our conversation early on is just fun, getting to know each other type stuff. And as a result, I started getting asked out on dates instead of "late night get togethers." These guys wanted relationships instead of just wanting to have fun. I'm getting texts/phone calls everyday instead of the friday night drunken call. Give it a try and I'm sure you'll see similar results.
I have to mention though, that we are in the age group of players and guys just wanting to get laid. Not all guys are like this, but sometimes it doesn't matter how respectable or amazing you are, they're only going to be interested in sex and don't want to be tied down. They're still only going to call for sex and bail for a week. So don't be discouraged, just don't hook up with these guys or you'll be left disappointed.0