What I say is the question and if he will say yes
Yes. You will know when you ask.
Well I want to know beforehand
Good luck with that.
That's a heavy question I don't want to put him on the spot like that
If you want the answer to your question, you won't get it by talking about football.
Well yeah but should I ask him something like what do I define you as when talking to people because werr
Were really on a fine line where we are more than fwbs but not in a relationship yet
If you feel it is too early to have that talk, then don't have the talk. Just enjoy things and let it happen for you.
No it's not too early we been dating for months just not an every day every week kinda thing but does that matter?
Have you talked about being monogamous/exclusive?
No I don't know how to bring it up? Or should I just let it unfold naturally?
The next time you share a passionate kiss, stop and ask him if he is dating anyone else.
He has told me before he's not
He's a shy guy
Tell him you are ready to make a mutual promise of exclusiveness because you don't like the idea of sharing him with anyone else.
He knows I don't and he's not dating anyone else
Okay. So don't say anything to him.
What? I can't say nothing. What do you mean?
Talking about your future isn't 'putting someone on the spot'. It's having an adult conversation. Really, it's okay. Seriously.
@Browneye57 yes I know but he may think I'm pressuring him into something as I might of in the past
You're confusing having a conversation with 'pressuring'. You can have one without the other. Sometimes girls do this - they want some kind of formal explanation. And I'm not sure why since they are the masters of nuance. So just carry on and enjoy your time together - if it's good then it will keep doing. If it's not, it won't.
@Browneye57 I shouldn't ask him now? Why not?
It is easy to screw up a relationship by talking about it all the time. You need to let your relationship happen and see if it works because you can't talk your relationship into happening the way you want it to happen. Right, @Browneye57?
yeah so what are you saying, just let it unfold whenever it happens?
Yes, absolutely. More often than not, trying to force a relationship to happen just screws it up.
true but I feel like then he's never going to askI mean sometimes don't you have to push guys, especially shy guys?
Ask him where his heart is only when you are certain that you know where his heart is.
we'll I think I know nowshould I ask him how he feels about me?
Your initial question was "How can I tell if he wants a relationship with me? How do I Ask?" If you are certain about where his heart is, you wouldn't need to ask that question.
we'll I don't know because he did say no to me a year or two ago
^that's what you should say to him to identify what HE is looking for.
We'll I want to ask him in a way that's not so heavy
you might get an unclear answer then but.. hey, if that's a risk you're willing to take, feel free!
Then what should I say?
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Well he's hanging around but with no commitment yet
He's hanging around cuz he likes you, evidently not ready to commit yet. So, what exactly do you bring to a LTR that is of high value? What makes you a keeper? And no, it's not your golden vagina.
I don't know? I mean why would he not want to commit? Is it just because he hasn't asked me yet?
So your telling me to just leave it alone until he says something
If you're doing him regularly there's not a lot of reason to 'commit'. You put the cart before the horse. What would be the reasons you can think of that he would be wanting an LTR with you? I tried to get at this earlier but you keep side-stepping the issue.
I don't know, why else does anyone comitt
Cuz they want to be with them for the rest of their life. The best thing that ever happened to them. That's why people marry. At least that's what I know. I've been married for more than half of my entire lifetime, some 35 years worth. Two different women though, the second one is FAR and away superior to the first.
So your saying he doesn't want to
We'll I'm talking about just committing to being in a relationship now
From the sounds if it you already are. You're just wanting to label it somehow. Just date him, get to know him, you have time to discern whether it's a match or not. If he likes being with you he'll continue. If not, he might hang around for regular sex, but not want to commit. YOU have to make this determination. Have you sat down and actually discussed any kind of long term goals and desires? What you all want when you 'grow up'. Family? Kids? Travel? A house? What?
No we haven't even discussed being in a relationship. I know he's not just using me, I know there's real feelings there such as when he holds my hand and everything but we just haven't made it official yet
It also has been awhile so I know him more than we'll, we known each other for years
We'll I don't even know if he wants a relationship with me, I don't want him to say no
Plus, notice his difference in behavior with you and other females. If there exists a large amount of difference in a positive manner, he is interested in you ma'am.
We'll he doesn't look at other woman when we go out
That might be a good sign, but does he treat you as a special case or are you just like one of his friends?
No he treat's me as more than a friend when we hang out
Then lady, don't keep this suspended in your heart, express it out and whatever shall happen, will happen for good. :)
We'll I want to make sure he wants a relationship with me
That'll be only possible if you ask him.
Ask him thats how you will know.
What do you Think?
Well what do you think hell say
Whatever he feels, I am just a human, I cannot precisely predict.
If I tell you how he acts
Well we act like a couple whenever we're together
Yes, so ask him, in a calm manner, if he wants to be with you as more than friends.
Do you think he wants a relationship with me?
Why do you think that?What he just hasn't asked me yet?
Were more than a friends with benefit and some guys want relationships
some do, most don't. Even those that say they do are just saying that because they don't want to lose their source of sex. Of course they are going to tell you what you want to hear in that situation.
What about the guy's that are married
Marriage is dying out. 60-65% and climbing are realizing it's just a stupid legal contract that's not in the male's favor with the default terms (if you need a prenup that can possibly be thrown out by a judge on a whim to override the shitty default terms of the original contract why bother agreeing to it to begin with?). The rest haven't realized the mistake they made yet, give it 5 years after the divorce when their salary is slapped with alimony and child support garnishments. Of course by then it's too late.
Okay couples that we're married from years ago
They are making the best of a bad situation most likely, divorces are expensive. Never heard of unhappily married? That's actually rather common when there's kids involved. They are probably staying together for their sake. I don't know of any couples first hand that stayed together for long after the kids hit 18 and went to college. I've heard of a few 2nd hand but those are literally dying out, they are in their 70's and 80's.
Why are you s
I'm a realist, which tends to be cynical since reality mostly sucks.
In Reality some couples do love each other
That's the exception rather than the rule.
And most of those are the ones in their 70's and 80's and dying soon.
So people like that still exist
For now, like I said they are dying soon with no one to replace them.
We go out but I mean he hasn't asked me to be in a relationship
okay, well you might have to ask him. but if you spend a lot of alone time together that's usually a good sign anyways, so don't be nervous :)
It's whenever he's free not like everyday. and I'm not nervous but hesitant because he had said no to me before
ohh so you've already asked him and he said no. how long ago?
ahh and have you two been hanging out since, or was this recent?
No we been hanging out off and on since but it's more steady now and were closer since back then
alright well take a risk and find out how he feels. even if he says no it's better than not knowing
What do you think?
no one on this site knows him better than you do, so what does your gut tell you? however, I also think you're worrying too much about what he thinks, and not worrying enough about how you feel about him. I think if you like him, you owe it to yourself to ask him on a date, if he says no then he says no, but you'll have a zero percent chance of dating him if you never ask. I think you should follow your heart and ask.
We already do go out?
formally... on a date
Yes he takes me to the movies
and just like that I'm confused as heck haha
Why are you confused
I don't even know what that means
Don't worry that's what google is for.
Were not in a relationship Yet?
He doesn't ask
if u want answer than you should
Yeah but I touch him and it doesn't work
I like that
That's too foward
well whatever floats your boat then, because that's what I did with my guy and we are happily married now :)
Were you in a situation ship beforehand
We were talking for a few days maybe
Before you started dating?
we emailed each other and talked on the phone for about a month prior to meeting up in person, and I asked him in email first if he had a girlfriend. after he gave me the green flag and said he hasn't dated in 6 years, that's when I continued to talk to him.
Oh I wonder if my guy wants a relationship with me?
you should just ask him, don't try to beat around the bush!
Does it sound like he does though?
you tell me?
I was asking your opinion
Were like in btwn fwbs and dating u guess but were not official yet and act like way more than fwbs
Ask him if he likes "us" together. Listen to what he says. Tell him you do. And listen some more
He already has. I tried that last week
sorry gaming reference 😅, start to joke about with him and see his reaction.
having a relationship, if not just ask him straight out... or probe ask if he's seeing anyone else... make a plan with him in the future like a outing. say your bored of being single
He's not seeing anyone. How can I ask Him? Like what are we to each other because really we are on the line of more than fwbs but not in a relationship yet
We already see each other
Well if your seeing each other ten your in a relationship shouldn't the question be how do I know if he wants to stay in the relation ship
He never stated if were official or not though
Doesn't it matter?
Yes if he cares he would tell you he cares
What I'm talking about being in a relationship not caring?
Ok then guess you have to ask your self what you wAnt in a relationship
i dont know if he wants to be in a relationship or not. Some people say no and some people say were already in one
Look, clarify things. Ask him what are we? Are we in a relationship or not. Text him that if you don't the courage to ask face to face.
well i don't want to pressure him if he's not ready
can you tell me what you think if i tell you some details?
we'll we act like a couple whenever we're together such as kiss, hug, cuddle, and hold hands. we talk about everything like his family and work. he asks my opinion on things and look into my eyes at times
Girl, what are you wondering about then? He's your boyfriend already if you guys are kissing and holding hands and cuddling.
he never made it official though yet?
I already told you to ask him. What so hard about saying in a text "Are we official as a couple" Don't be afraid.
text is so impersonal and if you say we are why can't he say something?some people are telling me not to say anything because I wouldn't want to force a relationship
Next time you kiss him. Look him in the eye and say am I your girlfriend... It's no big deal really.
say to him its no big deal?that's a heavy question
he won't even let me leave things at his place
is that normal or no?
That guy is weird then. I don't know what else to say.
why is it weird that I can't leave things at his place?