I appreciate your take on this, but I have to say I disagree. Every break up is different and has happened for different reasons. Sometimes the reasons are so bad one should never consider going back to the relationship, but sometimes it's fixable and can even be due to a bad timing in a person's life. I'm not someone who gives up on people easily and takes them as something disposable. I believe in giving people second chances. It's not like everyone gets everything right a first try. Not a surprise relationships and marriages don’t last anymore in this time and age.This is not saying I've made up my mind about taking him back, but it does mean I still believe in him. This is the time for me to consider how I as an individual want to continue my life from this point forward. And whom I want to include in it. It's not an easy desicion and I do have to think about it from many perspectives but in the end it is my life and my desicion and it has nothing to do with anyone else's lifes.
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If it was a bad relationship, but you want to try it again start from beginning. If it was good start from where you left off.
I suppose also that if the relationship was good but break up was bad, that you should start from the beginning?
Yeah i guess so. How do you even start from the beginning if you know the person well? Bit of a strange concept to me. But i guess stating this to your partner does give it a different approach
Yeah. Sounds strange to me too, but then again I think I'd personally have to start from the beginning if I wanted it to work out (if I give the relationship another shot), but the guy thinks he can just hop on board where it left off like nothing happened. I'm not ready to that.
Well if youve got issues to resolve, then thats VERY important to deal with first. If he's avoiding these issues all together and just wants to hop on a moving train, i suggest you rethink about a relationshipp with him. Especially if yourre disagreeing on the topic.
That's exactly what I've been thinking. I'm the kinda person that has to talk things trough and get the bad feelings off my chest before getting into anything. After that I'm able to start again and try to get to the point it left off. But he seems to be under the impression we should just skip the whole mess and continue from where our relationship was before the break up. That's something I find hard to understand. You can't just swipe all the negative stuff under a table and assume that the other person is fine with continuing without ever talking about it. It seems like our feelings are not in balance. Maybe he has no hard feelings and just wants it all to go back to how it was, but I totally have bad feelings and negative thoughts and I need to get to know him again so that I can start to trust him fully again and get rid of all the baggage etc. before I'm ready to be in a real relationship with him.