Okay we are seeing each other not just fucking, I don't know why you think that
"so we are not officially together just seeing each other"
3.) He's married and doesn't want his wife to know about you (or you about her). In which case, ditch him now. Maybe I'm wrong (hopefully I am) but either way I would see that as a red flag. Hope it works out for you OP.
Third possibility in addition to olderandwiser's reply ^^
Yes is it because we're not official?
I don't know it was just a theory, but if he's being evasive about making it official it's not a good sign. How long have you been seeing him? That bears a lot of relevance.
@navychick2006 months but we haven't talked about it either, we act just like a couple though
Perhaps it needs to be addressed. I would talk to him about it if you really want to know. I know I would.
@navychick2006 can I ask a simple question like "how do you feel about me".Why do you think we are kinda in a relationship?
Well I don't know if you're "kinda" in a relationship but I do think that based on what you told me is that you're in that grey area that borders on being in a relationship. What I mean is that you don't know where you stand with each other. I was in that situation about a year ago. My outcome was less than desirable however the conversation was worth having because it gave me an answer. I just asked him "where do we stand with each other in terms of this relationship?"For all you know he might be wondering the same thing.
@navychick2006 true, like I said I just don't know how to ask? You think he wants to be in a relationship with me?
It's hard to tell really since I don't know the guy.Here's how I asked: "I want to know where I stand with you. Are we dating or is this just a friends with benefits arrangement?". Hopefully it's the former but if it's the latter, the outcome is up to you. I personally wouldn't get involved in a friends with benefits arrangement, but that's just me. Even if that's all he wants at least you'll have your answer. Good luck and keep me posted 😊
@navychick2006 can't I just ask him how he feels about me and go from there? What do you want to know about him to determine if he wants to get into a relationship with me?
were not officially in a relationship
that's why he doesn't want you to keep stuff at his place. I'm going to assume since you're not officially dating, it's still open season for him and the hunt is on.If he had chicks over and they see your fancy underwear or tooth brush or something, they'll obviously be put off...or...he really loves his own space 😉
yes he saids he's not seeing anyone and is very attentive in talking to me
Well if you believe he's not seeing anyone other than you. He really loves his own space (I'm not being sarcastic).
Also another thing is the moment you keep things at his place it becomes a commitment for him... maybe he. doesn't want that.. apologies to put another question into your head.
so your saying he doesn't even want me as a girlfriend?
I'm saying there's a possibility, however minute.Only way to know for sure is ask him nicely 👍.When he answers, read what his body says 😊
he saids its because he already has enough stuff to clutter his place up
That is just an excuse. If you two aren't officially a couple, then he is definitely seeing others.
why does he have to be
If you want him to not see other girls and want him as a boyfriend tell him. If he doesn't want the same thing then move on. Sounds like you two are just dating. Dating means he can see other girls and you can see other guys. You only see each other when you two talk about it. You tell him you wan to be exclusive. If you were his girlfriend, then he would have no problem with you leaving stuff behind (don't leave a lot of things because you don't live there and don't want to clutter his place.)
he has told me before tho he isn't seeing anyone else and he's very detailed and attentive in his texts to me
Thats what my SO told me. I'm not seeing others. I love you, you're my world etc. He would text me a lot too. He made me his girlfriend. However, I found out he was cheating on me. He said the other girl was also his girlfriend. I gave him everything support, love, sex, loyalty etc but he still was seeing others. Guys will tell you what you want to hear so you stay with them. If he was a jerk to you, you would leave him. Good luck to you. Guys are bastards.
he committed to people before?
I mean it was just an example of what it could be
It's way more than a friendship
It's a friendship until it's a relationship, and you've clarified it's not a relationship.
We'll friends don't hold hands, cuddle, and kiss
Some do, a friends with benefits definitely does
Hold hands? That's more like a couples thing
Which you've already said; you're not in a relationship. friends with benefits doesn't have to be a pump and dump, many are genuinely a friendship with physical intimacy without the obligations and emotional investment. I'm not going to keep going back and forth with you; you're not in a relationship, he doesn't want you marking your territory in his home, you're a friend having sex until it's discussed that it's a relationship. See it anyway you want, that's my opinion on your question. Good Iuck with it
Doesn't mean he's not emotionally involved
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We are both not seeing anyone else
we aren't officially together
And you want to leave things at his place? How did he react to this?
he keeps giving them back and i asked him if he didn't like it and he said "i have enough stuff as it is or something like that"
What kind of items are we talking about?
Oh, that does seem odd. Are you seeing other people?
you think he is
That's the first thing that comes to mind if he doesn't want evidence of you at his place but who knows
i mean but he lets me open up closets and whaatever at his place and i find nothing and he is not touchy with his phone like they say people are
That doesn't mean anything, how long have you been seeing him?
he doesn't have any signs that he's just using me
And your not in a relationship?
no but sometimes we act like were in one
Do you not want a relationship or he doesn't? What's your goal here?
i dont know we haven't talked about it
In months you haven't discussed it and you can't leave anything at his place? Sounds like friends with benefits
well he doesn't get mad at me he just give it back but we cuddle and hold hands. friends with benifits don't do that
If he doesn't want to be in a relationship after months chances are it won't happen
Holding hands doesn't equal a relationship
i never talked to him about it, i did ask him what he wanted in 2017 in January and he said me
why would he spend so much money on my when we go out if im just a hookup
Of course he did, he wants to keep what he has until he finds someone he wants a relationship with. Sorry to be so blunt but that's the way that works
Define so much money
like pay for eveything we do and whattnot
I have guy friends who do that
he gets jelious if other guys hit on me when we go out
How do you know that?
um we went out and clearly i can see he got jelious after some guy hit on me, he wanted to keep me close then
Do yourself a favor and quit trying to make this a relationship. If he wanted a relationship with you he would make it happen
okay so he doesn't even likke me or anything your saying?
I'm not saying he doesn't like you I'm saying chances are good it's not going anywhere long term or it already would have happened
then why is he still around, we known each other for years
Why won't he let you leave earrings at his house? If he wanted to be with you he would, sorry
Does it mean he doesn't want a relationship with me though?
even little things?
He wants no trace of someone else.
So he doesn't want to be in a relationship?
Ask him is this serious or friends with benefits? You should ask that in the beginning. If its not a relationship and you want one, find someone else. A lot of people like open relationships. Others, not so much.
We'll he's not seeing anyone else and we act like a couple whenever we're together
We'll were not official anyways but does that mean he doesn't even want me as his gf?
Why would he want you as his girlfriend when he already is screwing you without being his girlfriend?
Because we're emotially involved
im not a hook-up for him though we do go out sometimes
You aren't "officially together." That makes you a fuck-buddy at best. Probably one of a few he has in rotation.
we are fuck buddies, we act like a couple
Ah. You had me a little confused there. Okay, going out "sometimes" doesn't make you a couple. If he thought of you 2 as a couple, you would have a drawer in his dresser and part of a closet reserved for your stuff. Plus, under his bathroom sink would be a stockpile of tampons. You are doing the right thing in trying to build up a nest at his place, but he isn't playing along. He doesn't see you as relationship material. My 2 cents.
why do you say that?
Because those are the things that happen when a guy starts "coupling."
okay what else tells you he doesn't think im relationship material
That's pretty much it, as that's all I know about you.
well what else do you need to know
Well, how often you see each other. How many of those times are for actual date type things instead of just booty calls. Has he ever taken you for a weekend getaway... those type of things will let you know where you stand with him.
of them are booty calls, we spend quality time together always
Okay. I hope it works out for the 2 of you.
no we are not official yet?
but you're dating. that's the point, you're only with him.. you're not dating other men
yes and he told me he wasn't seeing anyone eighter
so, that should send out a red flag to you
why it doesn't even match up that he's seeing anyone
doesn't matter, it should send a red flag to you. he should be glad to have your things there..
I don't think he would have any other
why it's not like friends leave things at their place. it just doesn't match up that he's seeing someone
To be honest he sound like he's afraid. I would run if a girl acted like that. People like don't make great life partner.
afraid of what? why afraid?
Why would someone say no to you keeping things at his place if you are seeing each other often. Either you came with a big baggage of thing and he said fuck no or he's afraid of starting and making things official. Sound like commitment issue.
So you don't think he's seeing anyone else now?
I think whatever reason he got is a good reason to run. If a woman act like that I run.
Act like what? I thought you said it was commitment issue?
that would be the only reason
... or he has horrible OCD...
is ocd like realizing if you moved something or threw something away
it's more like needing everyone to be a certain way or it causes panic attacks.. trust me you would know if he had it
no because I the woman at my work has ocd and doesn't get panic attacks
must be mild then
what if he's is
... im not a mind reader man I don't know... I just gave an opinion I can't solve all your life problems. just don't do school and stay in drugs ok geez.
we'll you're trying to tell me he has someone else