I understand, but I try not to go by who is "hot" or "average". I dated someone who was widely considered average by friends, and he turned out to be anything but nice.
I don't know then, maybe im wrong and I've been single for 6 years because im just actual trash
No don't say that! Maybe you aren't around the right people. I just try not to go by looks by saying "hot=jerk" and "average=nice"; I could totally date someone average, and I have, I just want a normal, understanding partner.
I hope you find someone. it can be tricky. I know I won't because I don't try. im sick of the rejection it just destroys my confidence
You have to at least try :) I have been heartbroken but I try to still be confident when it comes to talking to new people
I gave up a long time ago
Sorry to hear that :c
it's whatever. if you wanna talk you can message me I don't like talking about real shit like this in comments. I prefer to make sarcastic jokes in public
I see where you are coming from, but I am not like those girls that chase "hot jerky guys" or just "jerky " guys in general. I have ran into a ton of jerks, ALL of them actually looked worse than that dude in that meme lol and I didn't chase ANY of them. And I dated someone average, but he was a jerk too
If that's the case then the problem may lie within. How much time have you spent cultivating self love, acceptance, understanding, spiritual development and harnessing the inner / higher self? Often, this can take a life time, but most people ignore it and spend time seeking others instead. They look to others to find happiness, instead of looking within to amplify it.In a sense, many people will seek a reflection of how they feel about themselves, or what they haven't accepted about themselves, or they are unaware of who they are. When people look for a partner, the first question they usually ask is ''what can I get?'', as opposed to ''what can I give?''.When you truly find yourself, you are more likely to find another. I've just remembered a video that sums it all up perfectly...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLvxrKUfYHM
Thank you! You are probably right, I heard that people get into better relationships when they aren't actively searching for someone to make them whole. I will definitely try to accept myself more :)
I am happy you have a good guy :)
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I understand. I can totally understand where you are coming from; I have nothing against it being in the relationship, I just want to find the right guy for me who doesn't make me feel like dirt
So yes, we are out therebut to be honest, sometimes it's difficult to be seen as more than a friend.
No wanting sex is okay I just don't want it to me the main focus of a relationship. Thank you for your thoughts (:
Anything I can do to help.Don't be afraid to message.
Alright, thanks :)
I am willing to talk to lots of different people, but I don't want to look desperate or anything by searching too hard
Of course. What I meant by willing to search is not having a past relationship keep you from being open to having another relationship with a guy in the future when you've recovered from the heart ache, sadness or negativity from that experience.I hope you find someone great one day that you can connect with and have a mutual loving relationship with.
Thank you so much, I hpe I can find a great guy too :) I still have that bad experience from my ex with me at times, but I will try not to let it get in the way of my happiness
The "fuckboys" don't sit around feeling sorry for themselves.. and that is why we get women.
Hey man child, I'm no fuck tard and I believe she was asking are there guys who aren't fuck tards. Now stay in your fuck lard lane.
Oh yes dumb ass, I'm quite happy with a wife. Now run along to the playground. You might get lucky and find a used condom.
I have ran into a LOT of fuck boys but I didn't chase not one of them, so I am not like those girls. But thanks for the advice :}
Smart girl... It will happen in the right place and time. It's when one looks that they find trouble.
Thank you :) I will try not to worry or look too hard. You are right, when one is desperate and looks all over the place, they run into scumbags
Right... lol Kind of like rumbling through a social trash can for a diamond and only finding a few rusted bottle caps and nickel with gum stuck to one side. 😆
Nobody wants to touch that nickel with chewed gum stuck to it. lmao
ew haha That's great XD Thanks a lot! I will try to just not worry about it :)
Sex is not all I am good for. And I am not going to do it right away or feel forced to just because a guy is horny. Sex should be mutually agreed upon, not forced
You used the word, "forced" twice. That's a bit scary. A smart guy wouldn't just walk away, they'd run.
Run because a girl doesn't want to screw him the moment she sees him? Well sorry for having self respect but I don't feel like sex is something I am obligated to give to someone right away
Of course not, silly!You can do whatever you want to do. Just don't throw out the word, "forced" willy-nilly. In general, guys are guilty until proven innocent.
I didn't mean to make it look like I was bringing up "rape" or whatever lol I meant more of feeling obligated to do something I don't want to. But I understand that I came on too strong with that word. I apologize.
Girls: They engage in sex to find romance/a relationshipGuys: They engage in romance/a relationship to get sexIf any guy tells you differently, they are lying through their teeth. Ultimately there is a middle ground, but it's very hard to achieve.
Well I am sure that is true in some aspects, but I have known people who it was the other way around. A guy wanting a relationship, and a girl wanting sex only. So I try not to believe too much in that idea
There are always exceptions to the rule. I know a guy who won the lottery. Maybe we should buy some tickets! lolLook... I'm just trying to help you. Maybe women hate the way that the good Lord wired our brains, but we sure as hell can't change it.
I know you are trying to help. Thanks. I just have been hurt bad before and It hurts thinking that all guys are bad, and that I have no chance of being with someone who makes me happy
Guys aren't "Bad". They just are wired differently than women. Dogs love water, cats hate it. Which of them are bad? I know what you want. You want the whole deal. So that just means that you make the guy wait for a short period of time before you give him your treasure. It's kind of a test to see what he wants, but don't wait too long, because he will lose interest. All of those sexy romance novels that women read are a bunch of shit. Those guys don't exist in real life. You have everything that a guy could want, just use it to your advantage.
Thanks for understanding. I won't make them wait a year or anything haha so I am not that crazy with holding out. And I don't read romance novels, so I don't have that image in my head lol romance novels are trash
A year? Three dates... Max
Well I don't put a time stamp on when I should sleep with someone. It should be whenever I am ready to do it. Sometimes 3 dates isn't enough time for me to know someone
I understand that. I was just giving you a guy's perspective. Any more than three dates... I'd be looking for greener pastures. For guys, the love comes later. The reason this site exists, is because we don't understand you and you don't understand us.
I don't have to be insanely in love lol but I don't want to feel obligated to sleep with someone until I am ready to. And I have seen successful relationships that didn't involve sex right away, that is what I want. I mainly want to know them more, and trust them, and at least care about them a bit.
Give it a shot. I know a guy who won the lottery.
how long have you been together?
We're not exactly "together" I've just spent time with her a few times. I don't really know her but she's cute and thus far has shown almost all the qualities I'm looking for. I'm just gonna keep getting to know her and see if something comes from it
got it. how long have you known her? what are the qualities you like?
I knew of her for several months before I started spending some time with her, which was about a month ago. After talking to her a few times I decided I might as well get to know her a bit. It naturally took me a while to appreciate her because I'm really extraverted and when I saw her wasn't in the context of the people I normally hang out with. I gradually found that she's just a really level headed person. She's been really nice and willing to just get to know me, and hasn't tried to stop things nor rush them, so she's probably on the same page as me. She does have good interests and enjoys spending time with people, which is a non negotiable for me. Also doesn't cause emotional drama as I've seen with a lot of girls and guys. So yeah she's really just how a normal person should be in my opinion
I hope I can find a guy that wants a relationship :)
That's great, I hope you do too. There are guys out there who want good connections in relationships, even if they're few and far between. And I think you can find one, though it's unfortunate that it likely won't be easy and will take some patience. I would recommend to just tell guys that you want to wait for sex because you want to value each other and have a connection, and that way you know you're not just using each other's bodies for pleasure. Obviously some guys won't care, but they're not the ones you want, and it might lead a guy to see your point and work for the right things
Thanks, I just worry that since these men are "rare" that I will most likely not find one. Hopefully I can at least get a guy who will want to build a nice connection with me first
Hopefully. If I may ask, where do you usually meet guys? At school and work, or are you involved in organizations or anything that you meet guys at, or what?
The last ones I dated were at school , and I have been single for about 2 years.
I'm not sure if you currently attend a university or live in a city or what, but my suggestion is to get involved in an organization at your University or city or whatever that's for something that interests you. If you find guys there you'll have something in common that you're passionate about, making it more likely to have a connection. Especially if the organization is like for a good cause or for volunteering, the guys you meet at such places more likely actually care about people and thus would care about you
thanks for the advice :) I will definitely keep that in mind. I can see how I will find a good partner through similar interests and what not:) Thanks so much
Glad to help, no problem! :) Branching out and meeting new people isn't easy but you'll be glad you did it. Let me know if you ever need other input!
Alright, i will [: Thanks again, this helped a lot. I was starting to feel so hopeless lol
Really glad to hear that. I was getting hopeless, but the girl I'm seeing has given me more hope. Even if things don't work out with us in the long run she proves to me that there are good girls out there :)
That's great :) You are right. I am more than certain that there are great men out there. I just have to keep my eyes open! And there are good women out there too :) Not all women are leeches or whatever people call them now lol
Haha yeah. The majority of the women I currently know I thought were good but it turns out the group they're in is more of a cult than anything (not exactly, but I call it that haha) and that's why there's a lot of drama with them. This girl doesn't associate with them :)
Oh goodness lol that is quite some drama, I didn't expect the "cult" thing XD But that is good that your girl isn't like them :)
Yeah. The girls get sucked into the cult pretty easily (I likely would have in their position) so it says a lot about her that she didn't
Well it is good that she didn't get involved :) Hope things work out for you guys!
Thank you :)
I have nothing against sex, trust me. I have a very positive attitude towards sex, I don't mind having sex, I just want to be with someone I really care about and am in a relationship with. There is nothing wrong with wanting sex, I just don't want it to be the main focus
Also consider this: if we see sex like water, guys live in the desert and women in the rain forest... Cause most girls usually have multiple guys who'd want sex with them so it doesn't feel like a thing they need. Guys on the other hand struggle to find girls for that, so they're constantly thirsty.
When is sex really the main focus? I mean maybe the guy has a bigger drive than you but if you realize sex he's really all he wants to do with you, then why do you get with that guy?
Lol I can see why you say that. Just for me, I want a guy who wants a solid relationship that includes sex, but isn't ALL ABOUT sex.
That is true, thanks. That makes me feel better.
Trust me lots of guys look for more in a girl than just a hole to stick their dick in. But those will probably not always be the ones who make the first move on you. Cause it's not easy if you're not only after sex.
Thanks, I understand :) That really helps
I don't think so, but thank you anyway. A lot of the guys I talk to have gfs or are not interested in me anyway, but that's ok
Well, the guys with girlfriends are obviously interested in more than sex. And just because some single guys are not interested in you doesn't mean they're not interested in relationships.I was generalizing before because usually the girl's problem is she's (subconsciously) only going after player type guys, doesn't mean that's what you're doing, maybe you've just had bad luck.
No , i have never chased after a guy who I knew was bad news. I dated someone who I believed was nice, and was widely considered "average" by my friends and some even said he was too ugly or whatever, and I ignored them, but he was not nice at all and ended up being abusive. So I just have bad luck :(
ha I know some guys say that too, don't worry I can tell you that not all women are sex crazed like you might think :) Thanks for the answer btw! :)
Oh I don't think they're sex crazed. I think they're just gold digging bitches.
Oh I am sorry :c Well I can tell you not all of them are like that. I for one don't care about that stuff c: And I also know lots of girls that agree with me
Oh yeah of course not all girls are like that. However with high divorce rates and just the quality of women in the usa in general. I'd say you never know who is a gold digging bitch.
I don't blame you, so don't worry. I can totally see where you are coming from. Just always make sure you KNOW a woman before you let the relationship prosper. :)
Mmhmm of course.
the website? No, I am not really into online dating, if I want to be around Christians I will just attend my local church
They probably have synchronized chasity belts