I had a brief fling with a good friend last year. It wasn't exactly a fling but I don't know what else to call it. We hung out a few times and cuddled in his bed one night (but didn't have sex). He's a playboy who was just fooling around while I caught feelings. I was stupid to think I could pull-off a casual fling. At first I wasn't sure what we were so we talked about it, and he told me he wasn't looking for a relationship - which was what I had suspected. I asked him whether we were just friends and he said "for now" which I know means "for a long time". After that I was smart and ran for the hills. I wasn't going to get involved with a fuckboi. But I turned out not to be as smart as I thought because I don't think my feelings ever faded. When I'm not around him I rarely think about him, but when I'm with him I can't deny my feelings. He's super flirty which doesn't help the situation at all. Plus he's smart and works part-time for NASA which doesn't help either. Starting next year he's going to grad school at Japan's top university. I'm currently reading a book about a girl who lives in a household in which her father abuses her mother, and in the chapter I just read she admits that she doesn't take dating seriously because she believes all men are like her father. This reminded me of something our mutual girl friend told me - that he's not very close with his parents and that he basically fought his way out of the house to live on his own. A few days ago I had lunch with him, and he asked me whether I was seeing anyone, which felt kind of weird because we'd never talked about other "people" in our lives before. I mean, the last time we talked about our love lives it was about us. It kind of stung, to be honest, and at first I wasn't sure why, but thinking back now I guess it's because I still have some feelings for him and it hurts to talk about others.
Nevertheless I told him about this guy my best friend is trying to hook me up with - because this guy is a cool guy but also because I didn't want him to think I've been waiting around for him - I haven't. I've been thinking since then, and I just wonder whether I should have told him there was no one. I'm not sure.
He claims he's just "too busy" to date. But he's been "too busy" since last year. Could the real reason be his lack of belief in romance? Or is he really just too caught up in his work to worry about dating?