Will he give me another shot, if I explain this to him? PLEASE READ!!! I need answers... PLEASE?

Anonymous
I have a mental disorder called (please don't laugh) Paranoid Personality Disorder (PPD) If you don't know what it is, google it, then come back to this question...

I like my friend, and he likes me, but I lied and said I don't like him. I afraid because of my PPD, I'll do something stupid. Like, accuse him of cheating, or lying to me (I know I lied to him... don't judge)

He knows about my disorder. I trust him and he knows that. I've learned to control my PPD so I'm not as distrusting as I used to be. But I still get my moments. I'm just scared that if I do get a moment (it's kinda like a panic attack. No warning. No Reason) I'll lose him. Whether, I think he's cheating on me, or talking behind my back... I know he never would, but I can't really control it. I've been better than when I was younger, but still...

After a month or two, I think I'm willing to take a chance.

Do you think, if I explain to him my concern, he'll understand?

He's my best friend, and I LOVE HIM!!! I can't lose him... I swear, I trust him with my life! It's just these stupid moments, that I have absolutely NOOO control over!!
Will he give me another shot, if I explain this to him? PLEASE READ!!! I need answers... PLEASE?
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