Thank you so much. I think I've dated a BPD or NPD in the past so this time certain things rang a bell in my head. I'm just trying to make sense of this new guy - who may have already discarded me - so I can avoid stuff like this in the future and RUN haha
I agree with you. You wrote the properties of narcissictic people very well. They love competition so much and it's very bothering when you say that you don't like this type of behaviour they will be offended immediately and pretend to show themselves as they don't compete and they will accuse you.
At the same time they will think they are always right and try to touch a sore spot while having argument and have excellent manupulation skills.
As an example, this person who I haven't known long was late to meet me. Should have met at 3 then he fell asleep. When he woke up he did apologise and we decided on 7pm instead. I joked with him that his time keeping was impeccable. He never showed up. He never responded to a text later that evening asking if we were still meeting. I refused to engage with him being childish as I saw he;d been on on site we met on and read my message. It is now 5 days later. He's not messaged me but looked at my profile. Did he take my joking about time keeping as a slight against him and is now punishing me possibly? I found the behaviour so odd!
Yes I think it is odd. He should have written something.
Surely most people would. If another girl you wouldn't arrange to meet. I was wondering if it was some kind of test!
I don't think it's a test. It's the way he behaves but I'm not sure of course :)
Even if he's not narcisstic it's just plain rude!
Yes you're right he shouldn't have behaved like this. It's very disrespectful.
they also act like assholes and like to bring others down
He did slag off his sister for being a solicitor and seemingly having done better in life than him. He seemed to feel intimidated by me being 7 years older and was up selling himself to me, or auditioning it almost felt like.
How would they try and prove that they were better than everyone else?
Well lets say you're the narcissistic asswhole. and i tell you a story about how i went skydiving and jumped from 4000 m. You basically would say a lie along the lines of "oh me too but i jumped from 8000". In the very least, he's going to try to be "as cool" as that person is. Like if he doesn't want to be caught with the lie, he might just say he did it too. So everyone thinks he is just as "cool". Does it make sense?
Yes it does! This guy started jabbering on about how he didn't like it if someone knew something he didn't. He then had to understand it himself or else he got annoyed. I guess that fits with proving he's up there with everyone else.
Not necessarily. I know how a guy with narcissistic personality disorder behaves because i AM one. Not proud of it but at least i know exactly what my flaws are. What you described, however, can simply be a "hunger for knowledge". Well, it depends. I can't put my finger on it just because of one example.
I myself have a hunger for knowledge. The way this guy described it was as if he couldn't stand anyone to know something he didn't. Almost like he had to understand how something worked. I think it;s his lack of empathy that made me think "hang on here - your behaviour is a little off."
That's what i was trying to say. A "true" narcissist wouldn't have a problem with not knowing something. It's quite the other way around: narcissists want to know things that you DONT. what you described is called a god complex. i have that as well.
Ah right - I see now sorry. Maybe this guy is just cocky and rude.
Most likely. My job here is done. If you have any other questions related to shitty people, i'm the guy to ask (takes one to know one)
Haha thank you so much.
I was very newly seeing a guy that I think has narcisstic tendencies and the never sorry thing seems pretty appropriate here!
my dad I kinda a narcissist. Sometimes it'll be like I'm sorry that you took it that way or something.
It's hard to deal with when you're full of empathy!
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Yeah on first meeting this guy I felt he was trying very hard and too good to be true - bragging about how much of a hard worker he is, listing his achievements and goals.