Would you ever date someone who didn't have a future?

Okay, so I'm talking with this guy. We really like each other, he's a great person, he's got a big heart, and he makes me feel great about myself. So the problem? He doesn't have any kind of future. He dropped out of college. He's in a band, but I'm pretty sure the band isn't going anywhere. He lives with his mom, and he works at a convenient store. Which doesn't really bring in much moola. I'm not a low person, I swear, it's just that I'm worried about the future for us if we get serious. I don't want to get into a serious relationship with someone who wouldn't be able to support me financially, you know?

So what are your opinions on this? Any response would be great, I just need some advice. Thanks!


Most Helpful Guy

  • If I found a girl like the guy your describing I wouldn't be surprised if I married her. I grew up in a home with parents who together made over a hundred thousand a year and fought quite a lot. I can confidently say I would much rather be in an relationship with a incredible girl making $30,000 a year than with a normal one making $400,000. I understand your concern but as long as you get a decent job and spend your money wisely I think the two of you would be absolutely fine in the long run. You might not get to visit Paris on your tenth anniversary but you would still have a guy who is a great person, with a big heart, who makes you feel great about yourself.

    I say give the guy a chance because it would be a tragedy to let someone with all these amazing traits go because of money.

    • Thank you so much. I love this answer

    • And what exactly makes this guy a great person? His "big heart"? I'm sorry but when I hear about a college dropout who dates teenage girls and lives with his mom, "great guy" is not the first thing that comes to mind. Relationship problems happen regardless of income level, but most fights are due to finances, it is a FACT. On average, a relationship with someone that has a dead end job will be far less peaceful and fun than with someone who is more successful.

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What Guys Said 4

  • To be completely honest here, I come from a much different perspective than you on this, so I might not help you with my answer. For men, it's generally been considered perfectly respectable to date and even marry a girl who isn't financially independent, if only because in our culture men are still considered the "breadwinners". It's because of this that I wouldn't have a problem dating a girl who worked a low paying job & no plans for the future.

    If I was dating a man (I'm bisexual), I might have a fling with him, but I wouldn't consider him serious material. I know it's not a fair standard, but it's just the way I am. It's a gut feeling that I can't get over.

  • Not really. I mean what's the point? If someone is too lazy to embark on anything, how can you afford a living? Afford anything? I think I'd date anyone that had dreams and potential. And whether or not they live up to them or not, that's what life is all about. Giving it all you got. If someone is just inherently lazy, I really don't find them date worthy at all.

    • He's not lazy - he's just really dead-set on this band thing. Which may or may not happen. They've got a record deal and everything, but sometimes those don't do much.

  • To be honest he sounds like a real loser. You are not a low person, you just have a strong enough sense of intuition to know that there is no real future with him.

    • He's really not a loser, I mean he's still a great person despite his unsuccessful life lol.

  • it sucks more for us guys, if we don't have a future, career-wise, it makes us look bad, if a girl does not have a future career-wise, it's okay. That's because traditionally us guys are supposed to be the main financial provider, yeah but just because you are dating, boyfriend/girlfriend does not mean you will get married.


What Girls Said 1

  • No, I absolutely would not date someone like that, and would definitely advise all other girls to avoid dating guys like that, as well. That said, I don't think you should necessarily be going into relationships looking for someone who will be supporting you financially. You should really be supporting each other, at least for sometime. Most couples these days can't really afford to have only one person bringing in money. Just sayin'.

    • I didn't mean COMPLETELY financially supporting me. I'm pretty independent. I would never make a guy do that. But I don't want to be supporting HIM is the problem.

    • Very good advice.