I'm confused - shy man asks me out for drink.

Please help me - I would like to know your opinions / advice on the behavior of a man I have strong feelings for. Is it normal not to reply to emails/texts in the same week?! Is it just friendship he's seeking or do men normally mention a date but don't follow through? Do men think in simple terms unlike us women who analyze everything?!

He is like Mr Darcy in Bridget Jones (not in height or looks!) but they way he is - one of the nicest gentlemen I know. We work in the same hospital but our paths don't cross due to different jobs.

This gentleman is a senior colleague who is shy and single (not had many girlfriends) and at the end of last year we were communicating via email occasionally (he isn't very good at replying in the same week!), at times flirty. I asked him out for a drink and we met up and had a good time, we both laughed, asked questions complimented each other and agreed to do it again (didn't happen). In February he said that romance wasn't on the cards, he wasn't happy at work and had nothing to smile about. I at that time just split up with the ex and had a house to sell which he knew about. After he told me no romance I decided as I already felt like a wally to tell him my feelings but also highlighted that a serious relationship wasn't something I wanted - he didn't reply.

Now 5 months down the line I emailed him to ask how his year has gone so far. He replied the next day while on holiday, babbled about the weather then asked me 3 questions - how was I doing, had I sold my house and it would be pleasant to go out for a drink? After careful thinking I said yes this was nearly 3 weeks ago and I haven't had an email for a week now nor a date for the diary. My friend told me he asked about the house to see if the coast was clear. It's hard to pin him down for date due to his work commitments - my thinking is that he doesn't wish to meet if he did he would of found a date by now - Am I right in my thinking?

I have my house on the market will never be going back with the ex and hope that something comes of this.

A bit long - sorry but thank you for reading.

Thank you Wilcou for your advice - he has told me that he prefers not to be too organized outside of work & likes the inefficiency & poor time management to his leisure time & admits he is a hopeless case with communication, date still to be arranged!


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What Guys Said 1

  • He probably has good intentions, just that he's distracted. As a man I often don't respond quickly if at all to e-mails/text/phone calls, it's not nearly as important to us as it is for women. Not all men are like that, but by the sounds of it this fellow is. If I were you I'd keep gently nudging it along or maybe set up a date yourself. In the meantime, definitely keep yourself on the (dating) market in case anyone else comes along. Hope this helps.

    Good luck with your house!


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