What questions do you dislike being asked on a first date?

What questions do you dislike being asked on a first date?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I dated a few months in 2015 (maybe 10 first dates), settled into a 2 year relationship, and then dated 6 women in the past three months. I don't recall any of them asking me any uncomfortable questions.

    I don't know why other guys are bothered by being asked about their jobs. It is not necessarily a backhanded way of asking about your salary. Your job says something about who you are and what you have accomplished in life. If you are embarrassed by the question, maybe it is your answer that is the problem.

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    • I guess you are right

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    • @OlderAndWiser

      Blah blah blah. I don't WANT to 'find' someone for anything other than to fuck. I've played that bullshit game before, and I learned just how pointless, risky, and unrewarding it is.

Most Helpful Girl

  • "So, tell me about yourself."

    Okay, technically that's not a question. However, I hate when people ask me such a broad question and I never know what to answer. I don't want to sit there and tell my whole life story while he occasionally nods to let me know that he's still listening. It doesn't seem like a genuine way to get to know someone.

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What Guys Said 120

  • Ill answer pretty much any question and I love great Conversation that follows good questions , but questions about ex's and questions about finances or assumptions that I'm a broke loser since I am self employed as a musician are big no no's. Politics are also a big turn off. The government is fucked up, its corrupt and there's nothing we can go about it. Ignore it and live your life. Dont like reality TV bullshit questions. Finally these last two are the biggest ones. You're single? For how long and why? This one though is the Worst. You're a virgin? Are you gay, how can you be 21 and still be a virgin? You must be a loser.

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  • 1. Tell me a bit about your exes?

    2. How many partners did you've in total and how many have you slept with?

    3. Can we have sex? (I thinks we should know each other better before doing that. Same applies to kiss, hugs, touch etc. Only verbal flirting is okay on first date)

    4. How do you imagine the future? (We should know each other better and too early thinking on marriage, kids etc.)

    5. I'm a bit curious on what's wrong with you? (If it's not STD I won't share my diagnoses or health history on my first date)

    6. Do you love me? (We needs to know each other better)

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  • I can't think of anything I wouldn't want to be asked or told. The more information we exchange on a first date, the better. I don't like wasting my time or anyone else's. The sooner we know whether we're compatible or not the better.

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  • Ima say that you should ask her questions as you guys go instead of all in one date because you probably won't even remember half of what she said lol

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  • The one about my height. And about sports. Now…one is obvious. I’m tall. OK? we all can see it. Could you…like…I don’t know…move on? I mean…it’s like everyone in your vicinity would point out something obvious on you. It’s just annoying. Sports, that’s not the obvious one. I don’t like doing or watching sports. That’s it. Topic closed. I know, you cannot know that, sure, so I don’t get mad or anything, but it’s still annoying. Same would go for family (feel free to ask why), cars, politics, and couple more of topics. I either don’t want to talk about them, and for that there are reasons, which, again, I might not want to share with you (do you see, how quickly we get several layers deep? Nothing is easy with me), or that topic is uninteresting for me. I don’t care about it in my free time and/or I don’t know what to say. But again, I’m not one of those people, who just…if you’ll bring that topic, you’re finished (and this is how I could sum up my interaction with certain percentage of women). I consider that childish. And stupid.

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  • All of them!! lol I hate dating and "getting to know" each other, all the talking about myself and explaining, I wish they could just know without me having to say it all. lol

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  • Not first dates but I greatly despise when people ask what is your background, where are you from or where are your parents from

    Almost as if you are being judged before you even get a chance to say another word. Well not almost. You are being judged immediately through sterotypes etc...

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  • When we sit down and the first thing she asks is -very bluntly- "so what do you think of this bathroom bill shit" or anything else overtly controversial in the most inorganic way imaginable. If we wind up Segway into politics and religion that's fine, but forcing that type of conversation is the BIGGEST turn off (next to asking me my dick size/wallet size).

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  • How long have you been single?

    What are you looking for?

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  • If you even mention star sign I'm asking for the cheque

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  • Only one that I denote and that is previous relationships are not important to ask about on first date, what matters is i'm spending time with you.

    Asking my career is totally fine and warranted, its a big passion of mine and would lead into even more conversation about my hobbies and what not.

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  • Something about why something isn't right

    E. g why are you so skinny?

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    • I hate that shit! Oh I'm skinny because I chose to be born in a family of 5 kids who couldn't be fed adequately. Because our mother was handicapped. Wtf bitch!

  • about how much I earn and how much money I have.. I mean c'mon.. I am there trying to know someone personally and that person is greedy about money.. trust me.. big turn off.

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  • About ex 😡

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  • I was abused then abandoned by my mom. Any questions related to family make me feel insecure and vulnerable. It brings back a lot of pain. I also know ladies like a guy who is close to his family. I am not. So its just a standard question that is painful.

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    • My ex's Mum up and abandoned him at 16. I asked what his Dad does, then I asked "what about your Mum?" and the only response I got was "I haven't seen her in 5 years" and didn't say another word about his Mum... I knew it was difficult for him to talk about so I didn't push on it.

    • I understand that talking about your family would be hard for you and it's completely okay to feel the way you feel. Although it's an uncomfortable question for you, I think the best answer you can tell the girl you're on a date with is to be honest and tell them you aren't comfortable talking about your family. If they respect you, they won't ask any further questions :)

    • @MaisGem21 thanks a lot you both for your replies. Its sounds like you guys would be great dates. I just think most girls look for the perfect man who is suburban so they can have their white picket fence. In other words, women will secretly dismiss me anyway. They dont want a guy with a mommy issue complex.

  • Anything that is an inquiry into income or status.

    This kind of shit is why I don't date, just fuck.

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  • Cheque or savings?

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  • The questions I always get asked pertain to previous relationships. Girls sense that I might be a player, and they set about trying to figure out if I might have any better options than them.

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    • I'm a player and it's cool if any chick not down with that... it's up to them. But I'm a genuinely nice guy and an honest person so I just lay it on the line. Here's the thing my man, you don't need to say "I'm a player" there are too many negative connotations, so ad lib, just think on your feet and find your own way to say it. For instance if a girl start talking about their personal life you can politely say "baby I'm not trying to get up in your business, but I like to have fun and if your cool with that lets get a bite to eat and chill." Seriously, a lot of girls love the chance to have a casual non judgmental relationship, and sometimes their plain vanilla bfs don't give them what they want so I'm just sd to a lot of girls but I'm not complaining😁

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    • @ThereGoesThatBadMan I disagree. If you just spew all your intentions up front you'll lose some of the very best girls you'll ever find. Most of the hottest girls I've met have not been okay with the fact that I'm not interested in commitment. I'm not going to just volunteer that into up front and kill my chances for no good reason. She's a big girl. She can figure things out for herself without me coddling her.

    • Cool that's a fair point! besides girls pretty much always know our intentions😂😈. I know you're busy kicking ass, just don't forget to take some names too @HikerDude!

  • How much money I make

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    • I can't believe how many chicks actually the audacity to ask this. What the fuck is it to you what's in my bank account? As soon as you ask that question you're over.

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    • Lol what can I say, I'm a wallflower. My girl friends always kinda forget I'm present and just say the weirdest shit conversations.

    • lol that happens..

  • Religious belief, political stance and affiliation. I'm not being interviewed to join any organization here.

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  • my life is a open book. now if you want to dig into it, be prepared for sarcasm and some very, squirm in your seat, personal questions from me.

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  • Where do I see my self in 10yr if they have to ask not with them an what sign are you then do you want kids what age did have my first girl friend why not just ask he old were you when you lost your virginity why not just ask the basics till we see if we connect before I'm asked how many girl friends have you had so far

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  • So you're 36 years old - why are you living with your parents?

    Never mind that I moved out and only recently moved back in...

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    • dude I'm with you there 3 months out a 2 year relationship. living with my dad currently while I'm attempting to buy a house. it came up in convo and i was totally honest date kinda went south after that. she won't respond to me any more oh well

    • And especially when she is living with HER folks and her two kids... So it's fine for you, but not me?

    • oh the double standards gotta love them. I just walked away didn t fight my ex on anything we bought together so I'm starting all over... its rough but chicks want grounded men. if something falls in my lap I'll Pursue it but I might have to wait a bit after this last date. it sucks

  • Not so much the context of the questions but if they become rapid fire, a sure sign conversation is drying up and still no common interest found

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  • "If we work out would you consider adopting my son/daughter?"
    (If she's a single mom.)

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  • Anything about money. Dont show me what I already am thinking about you, I go into every new relationship skeptical. My profile up to about two years ago had my job title and I was attracting gold diggers and lazy women.

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  • Any question that makes the whole thing feels like a job interview...

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  • Height. A woman will tell me that I look tall enough but my specific height will be a deal breaker

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  • "How much $$$ do you posses?"

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  • When they ask why my shirt is absolutely covered in blood, stop judging me

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What Girls Said 64

  • I hate being asked about how much money I make, mostly just because it's awkward and it seems like someone is trying to apply monetary value to a person. I've never asked how much someone has made lol. Typically just knowing their job is enough to get a rough idea.

    I really hate being asked sex questions off the bat too. Like how many sex partners I've had or what the craziest thing I've done sexually is - I'd be open to answering those questions later down the line but not on a first date. It's awkward.

    Lastly I hate it when guys are quick to ask me "What do you think of me?" It just seems like you're being put on the spot to give them reassurance that they've yet to botch your date or not.

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  • Questions about my love life history. I don't think it is relevant on a first date how long I was with my ex, why we ended etc.

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    • No idea they were allowing you to release any anger/tension about previous S. O? easy curve ball

    • I put my ex's behind me. Especially the painful breakups. I do not want to be talking about them on first dates.. it is stressful enough 😁

  • I welcome the discussion of sex if it comes up, but I don't like being asked personal sex questions such as whether or not I can squirt or fetish-like questions like whether or not I like to be peed on. These things are just not needed to know on first dates. However, my views on sexual health, sexuality, birth control, etc. are all actually good to talk about - as long as the topic of sex doesn't verge on becoming invasive.

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    • Talking about sex on the first date is too soon for me.

    • @Lucky2 I normally think so too, but there is a difference for me between talking about the subject of sex or sex-talk. But if I went without it altogether on the first date, even better.

  • "So, why are you single?"
    "How long have you been single?"
    OMG stop it.

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  • I went on a date with a guy and he asked me how my last boyfriend and I broke up. After I responded he was like: "so how are you still single? You seem like a catch". And then ended the date with "so. When am I gonna meet your family?" This was all on our first date haha. He pretty much asked me all the wrong questions.

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  • Being asked, "What kind of guys do you like?". I think this is dumb, when I'm already on date (1st) with this guy. 💕

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  • "so what are we?" Funnily enough it's always the guys who ask me this even though females get mocked for it.
    I also hate "so how many guys have you been with?"

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  • I'd rather the guy seeks for my personality than get himself ease by saying tell me about yourself!
    what kind of question is that, should I carry on some resume with me so you can get relax during the date?
    use that brain and ask more detailed questions!

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  • there are loads
    1. how long have u been single?
    2. are u looking for a relationship?
    3. have u done anything with your last ex? are u still in contact with?

    there are more but can't think of anymore lol

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  • Anything that's too explicitly sexual or personal questions.

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  • Asking about the persons virginity on a first date is a no no for me , I hate it when guys ask about my previous relationships / my ex on a first date.

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  • I don't know why guys always feel the need to ask when the last time I was intimate was. So inappropriate... especially on a first date or even before you meet.

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  • Would you like some more wine?
    Of course I would, I have a problem and you'll soon find out.

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  • 1. How many people have you slept with
    2. Wanna go to mine?
    3. Are you over your ex

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  • all of them. the first date should just be fun and seeing if there's emotional chemistry. shouldn't be the Spanish Inquisition.

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    • I disagree to some extent. I agree that you don't need CIA clearance-level questions, but some basics are important. They help make sure that you aren't wasting your time on someone you have no compatibility with. And many of those things aren't outwardly obvious, so they could slip by you for a few months - long enough for you to become deeply attached - before you find out. Better to talk about those basics early on.

    • lol love Monty Python

  • I guess where you see yourself in the future. I hate that question and its even used in job interviews, how should i know? Its the future im not in the future right now. Also the are you in school? I tell them no them they"ll ask why then you have to tell you have no interest in college. They'll sit there and automatically assume you dont do anything with your life or that your not ambitious enough and just dead end.

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  • anything to do with previous boyfriends. Why promote talking about another man in my life?
    Also, anything that revolves around the guy fishing for compliments. That shows an insecurity which is a real turn off.

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    • What's wrong with compliments? Maybe his ex never gave him one or she always insulted him to the point where he wonders what you liked about him? A compliment is good every once in a while.

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    • Thanks. If you were nearby I'd ask you out. I promise I wouldn't flex my biceps or ask how I look in these tight jeans. Lol

  • "Why are you single?"

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    • seriously? did some idiot actually ask you this? please tell me you slapped him 😂

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    • It's realistically more like "why are you single you're so blah blah blah blah" I usually reply with "I haven't really been looking for a bf" or "It's because I've put my school and career first before having a serious bf"

    • next time just say "coz I never met you before" and see him go all weird after that 😂

  • What's your type of guy?

    Mainly because I don't have a type; each of my ex-boyfriends have been completely different from one another.

    But I'd happily describe Christian Grey to them and watch them roll their eyes 😂

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    • just tell them 12 inches or more lol... seriously if they are going to ask you a dumb question like that you should at least get the pleasure of watching them squirm LOL

  • Anything along the lines if we are going to sleep together.

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  • Besides the obvious questions, what are you passionate about

    I never have an answer ready and you would think given the amount of times I've been asked that, I would be able to recite an answer :/

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  • Asking what I want out of us... when they ask what my bra size is... when they ask how I feel about marriage and having kids...

    Some things are more comfortable to ask further on in the relationship.

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    • bra size? are these guys prepubescent? what the he'll is wrong with those guys? this question is getting so many replies that are just blowing my mind🤤

  • I am an open book. No question bothers me. I just dislike answering his question directly and then he acts surprised or confused. Ask and you shall receive!

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  • hmm.. about my ex I guess..

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  • stuff regarding sex and my ex

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  • Questions about my past relationships.

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  • what do I do for a living. I'm disabled so that question really bother me sometimes. because once they find out I'm disabled they turn cold on me.

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    • I'm sorry men can be so shalloiw like that. my most recent ex had to use forearm crutches. but I fell for her hard. keep looking you find someone amazing that will look past your disability

    • it's alright. can't force someone to like or accept me I'm used to it

  • if I am virgin and about my sexual encounters

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  • "Do you want to go to my home/apartment?"
    This is totally a turn off for me.

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  • i hate being asked where i want to go to college. i'm figuring things out, and it just bothers me

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