Alright, just to get it out there. I KNOW I am a "fatty" on the shallow man's standards. I really am not here to be told how fat I am or how disgusting I look, I got it.
So I was just strolling around this site tonight and I realized something. Many guys don't like "larger" women and some would even refuse to date somebody just because of that fact. I am getting weight loss surgery in March to end my life long battle with my weight, but for the people that don't have the option and want to make what they already have look good, is there any way that a fatty can be attractive at all to somebody that wouldn't date them?
I, for one, like to dress nice in clothes that flatter me. I'm not talking clingy clothes that cling to every roll and imperfection. I'm fat, and even I don't find that attractive. I act very classy and am very smart and articulate. I am very opinionated and I'm not afraid to state my opinion. I played sports all my life and LOVE watching football and baseball when they're on. I don't consider my face to be horrible...
I notice that if some of these qualities were in a skinny person, most busy would be all the hell over it! But because the person is fat it's a whole other issue? Please enlighten me guys. I don't find it fair that people just cut people out even though if you get to know a "larger" girl well enough, you may just find these things.
And as I always say. You can lose the weight, but you can't lose bad character.
Most Helpful Guy
Attraction is not a choice, unfortunately. When you interact with someone you don't go over all good and bad qualities that person has and then decide whether or not you feel attracted to them. I would be great if we did, it's a much more egalitarian and rational system certainly.
But unfortunately that's not how it is. Sexual attraction is a primal instinct handed down to us by natural selection and when we encounter another person we either feel it or we don't. And it follows that natural selection favors qualities that bolster our ability to survive and reproduce so passing down our genes to the next generation not qualities that are conducive to a happy relationship.
While there are some men that do like it, fat is one such quality that causes men to not "feel it". They may feel a friendly affection for you but it's not that intense, longing feeling of romantic love. They don't cut you out because they're all assholes, they just don't have those feelings for you. If that makes you feel cheated, I can't say I blame you. I've often felt that way as well. I'm not exactly a skinny guy either. I'm not huge but I'm bigger than most guys.
It is indeed unfair but mother nature is a cruel mistress. Life is unfair but that's the way of it. It's out of my hands. I can't change the way these things work and I've learned to accept that. I know it's little consolation but there are some few guys out there who like it. And it could always be worse. You could be disabled, physically or mentally. You could be a burn victim. You have to play the hand you're dealt, whether it's fair or not.
Good luck with the surgery. I know someone that had gastric bypass surgery ( I think that's what it's called) and it's a pretty intense procedure with a long recovery. I hope you have a lot of loving people to support you and I wish you all the best.2