Should a girl ever ask a guy the "what are we" question?
What Guys Said 48
Verbatim? No I don't think so, just because it's kind of a weighted term like "we need to talk".
Better to just have a conversation about what it is you want and what you're looking for out of dating in general and let him do the same. Because you both may not have the same thing in mind. I know me as I guy i'm completely fine with getting to know a girl, have fun, have great sex and all around just experience her over the course of months and never have that conversation lol. I'm more about expressing what I feel and what I want through my actions and how I treat her, rather than have a logical conversation about it.
I remember dating a girl exclusively for 6 months, without ever talking about it when she randomly introduced me as her boyfriend one day and I was like "huh. I guess that works. Yes, I'm her boyfriend now". Lol. If you want to know then you need to talk about it, but I would argue that if you don't already know it's because it doesn't feel like a relationship to you and you want an agreement before moving forward with him.0
i don't think it hurts if it is at an appropriate time. like the question should be reserved for a truly needed response as opposed to perhaps just to reassure insecurities constantly...
but i think it's also good to ask this question along with conveying what you see you two as or what you want the relationship to be0
No. Because if you have to ask that question then your nothing. If there is ever a question of what your relationship status is, it obviously isn't where you want it to be or what you thought it was. So better to sit down and talk about what you both want and where you expect to go then ask a question you already know the answer to.1
would be awesome if more women did it, tired of women always expecting men to be the one progressing the relationship2
Of course its good to ask girl! Dont listen to these other guys. They dont understand your context.
What are we implies youve had a dating or sexual relationship that is casual prior to declared committment.
Thats how I started sating my ex of 2 years. We were coworkers having sex in secret for a few weeks. She finally asked what we were. It made me reevaluate my feelings for her. I realized that I wasn't in love but I liked her as a person and the sex was amazing. So we started dating as a couple. A year later I told her i loved her.0
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Yes - I believe in full and open communication between partners - If one person has something on their mind they should speak up, get it out in the open because doubts may cause issues further down the line1
This is one of the few areas in life where the attorneys know what they're talking about: you should never ask a question to which you don't already know the answer.
You should always be upfront about everything so that you're not twisting in the wind needlessly. Always better just to get it out in the open.
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As a married man who was in many confusing relationships before I met my wife, I'll say this...
If it's not horribly obvious where your relationship stands, you most likely have nothing. Obviously there are exceptions to this and these things need to be communicated.
It sounds painfully cliche but the saying holds true... When you meet them, you'll know. You don't have to ask. You don't need to wonder where things are going. You just have a mutual understanding.
I don't recommend asking "what are we" as that could come across as confrontational. Simply communicating your thoughts and feelings is probably the best way to go.1
Communication is always good, but you need to be waaaaay more precise with it. It's such a vague and subjective question.
State what you really feel plainly, and ask what you really mean to ask, don't wrap it up in ambiguity.0
Yes... If she doesn't KNOW, LOL.0
Why not? It's important to clarify our relationships0
No. Just enjoy what it really is rather than putting a label on it. You can call it whatever the hell you want - doesn't change what it is.0
If you think the relationship is going nowhere. But don't do it out of the blue when you two are having fun0
Rule of thumb if you hold hands and kiss your dating and your boyfriend and girlfriend if you got a ring on your fourth finger rather engaged or married and if you have sex once or twice three times that it's probably just booty call0
you should make it clear from the beginning, not by asking directly but by explaining what are you looking for in your dating life, this way both of you would be relaxed...0
No she makes a good point. Because one date could be everything special and to them it could have been just another date. I like when the girl asks me what we are, I like to know where her mind has been knowing we're getting closer to being an "item". Yeah ask him he won't give you a hard time he might just ask for your opinion why or why not you thought you were or weren't a couple yet. Give him a nudge knowing myself it wouldn't be so bad. Lol good luck0
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Ideally, no she won't. But I can understand her perspective as well and why she would ask that, I suppose.0
After a reasonable amount of time, you can ask.0
Ya it's a pretty viable question. I think it comes up naturally, after enough time has passed.0
yes IF their relationship seems stable enough (so at least after 5-6 months of relationship)0
Yes its better to know then to wonder2
Yes why not0
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What Girls Said 18
I would say only if you've been in a solid, comfortable relationship for several months. Of course situations vary and everyone should proceed differently.0
If it's not clear enough, yes you should ask. That way you know what to expect and not waste your time.0
I asked him "do you want me to be your girlfriend?" he said yes and that was that. He kept on hinting at it though, then he kept on hinting that we should or will be married soon, so I asked him "are you proposing" and he said yes.2
If you're not sure then of course you should ask. If you can't openly communicate then it's not working.0
Absolutely, especially if he hasn't even brought it up yet. If you been seeing each other for a really long time and things have gotten serious between you then i think its okay to ask.0
Tbh, I have never had to ask. It just sort of naturally fell into place0
Hmmm.. it's not the ideal conversation.. but it clears things out0
What I learned in this short life of mine is that if a girl feels the need to ask and get an answer to that question for assurance, it is mostly because she is insecure abo0
I've done before sometimes i flat out will ask because i want to know what we are official or not if not i don't have to waste anymore time with him but if he's serious then good cool0
You shouldn't be asking, you should have made it clear that you only want exclusive relationship, start striaght.0
Sure why not? Unless the question comes up logically it makes sense to ask.0
Yes. And if the guy is put off, you have your answer.0
I think it's better to communicate and ask, because communication is the key to any relationship :)0
If you want to know then yeah. If you dont care then no0
Yeah it's good to know whether you're wasting your time on someone who doesn't want the same thing as you.0
You should ask if you want some clarification. However if you already up to the point where you guys did everything a couple should do, yet he have not call you his girlfriend, the answer from him usually is something you don't want to hear like, "I want to take it slow" , "Its not time yer", "Im not ready" etc. But its also good to ask as you can make your decision early on instead on keep wasting time and end up hurt even more. in my opinion, a good relationship shouldn't involve those kinds of questions literally. But it should have a very smooth transition and his actions would prove that he wants you and you should always know what he wants from you by discussing the future. You should feel safe and secured around him. :)0
Not for awhile. I would see how it goes first0
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