Ex boyfriend now best friend - but now he wants to possibly date others?

My ex-boyfriend and I dated for 2 years. Since we had a horrendous breakup, we cooled off for a couple of months and then became best friends. We have been best friends now for nearly 3 years. NO SEX. However, we spend nearly every free minute together.

The other day we were watching TV, and things got weird.

He walked outside and told me that since he was getting older (he's 41 now, I'm 31) and he wanted to find someone and start a family and that I needed to back away.

I cried and cried, and the next few days he backpedaled a bit, and doted on me night and day, told me he wasn't interested in anyone else at that time, we were still 'friends', and that nothing had changed. He did not say he wanted to be with me, however.

Again, we have not had any kind of sex in 3 years, fyi. He had one girl he was interested in about 3 years ago, around the time of our breakup (who I 'caught' him making out with immediately after we broke up), but none that I know of since then. He always comes home immediately after work and calls me, or I come over.

Again, we spend all of our spare time together, I have a key to his house and come and go as I please, all the time, and he constantly buys me gifts and expensive things, takes me out to dinner, etc.

However, he states he does not want a relationship with me in that way. That much is clear, even though he backpedaled a bit. We had never even discussed this issue in the last 3 years until that night.

Also, one thing that might be important... He is a very attractive guy with a great job. I, however, gained quite a bit of weight a bit before and during/after our breakup, nearly, gasp, 100 lbs. I had fallen into a deep depression for multiple personal reasons and it got completely out of control. I have lost 25 in the last month -- I had some sort of epiphany, and I didn't want to be that way anymore, but have a long way to go. All of his girlfriends that I've seen pictures of have been absolutely beautiful, as I used to be before my drastic weight gain. Sigh.

Here's the deal: I want him back. Period. Does my weight have anything to do with him not wanting me anymore? He says it has nothing to do with it, but I think it must -- especially with him being so very attractive and with such a high-profile job. He says he doesn't want to get back together because 'it never worked and it was too up and down' and he just wants someone 'sweet' (which I am).

I would do anything for this guy. Why did he backpedal about wanting me to back away? What's really going on? Is it my weight? Anytime we disagree on anything, even unrelated to this issue, he won't engage and leaves the room. I never remember him being so dismissive of me before.

What's going on here?

Please help me, someone. What's happening? Do I have any hope? What's really going on here? Level with me, please... I promise I want the truth, even if it hurts.


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What Guys Said 1

  • hi..there grettings to you...my advice to you is don't leave him grl...you won't get opportunites this is a guy you need and he needs you and about job profile and other girls its nothng to do with it...becuse belive men is more happy and precised when he fnds the women he loves and be with her and spend as much time and talk to her this is what man need and other fact is that all the mens are dogs as I am also a guy ii know that they are not satisified what they have they are always need more and more so I apprecate you to loose more weight and be more attractive to her because the more you are attractive and sexy gorgeus and taking care of him I think he will not even think a single min of anyother girl nor anyother friend because all the time you will be the one who is always flying around his mind hahahahaha...like love angle so don't think much just go ahead for it becauisse you won't get the chance you will have it once in life time that's all so make sure of it...you do it and best of luck for you future drive.




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