This girl is driving me crazy! Any advice?

This girl is driving me crazy! Any advice?

Background: I've really liked her for about a year. She's never been in a relationship before. She's a really good friend. I asked her out once, but she knocked me back and said she wasn't ready for a relationship. Then a few months later in February I tried again, we had a very long talk about it but she said even though part of her wanted to that she couldn't do it that it would be too weird. At the beginning of April she told me that she liked me and even though she was afraid of being in a relationship that she wanted to give it a go. We went away on separate holidays and then when she came back she said she couldn't go through with it even though she liked me and would be jealous if another girl went out with me. One month later at the end of may she said that she felt we shouldn't do datey things anymore like go to dinner together, because it would be just too confusing for her and feelings would grow and that that just wouldn't be right. On the same night she said she saw me as a brother. But in my opinion those two things don't add up in my opinion. -- I mean she was completely fine doing one on one stuff with other guys, why wouldn't she be afraid her feelings for them would grow?

Anyhow we stopped talking for a bit, but have started talking again, and I really want to give this another go. We've had lunch together already, and I think she still has feelings for me, of course I might be wrong... As usual she is being very confusing, not sure if she still likes me, but I hope/think that I still have a chance...

What should I do? How often should I ask her to do things with me at college, and how often outside of college? How often should I call her? She is very frightened about the concept of a relationship, and I want to indirectly show her that she doesn't have to be afraid... I don't want to make it too obvious what I'm doing because I don't want her to get all frightened and put up barriers... - like I want to be able to take her to dinner/walks/movies/lunch without her reading too much into it, but at the same time I don't want her to think 'oh we're only doing stuff as friends".

Any advice?


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What Girls Said 1

  • my advice is find yourself another girl she is a very confuse girl that doesn't know what she wants... she only likes your friendship and doesn't want to lose it... that is why she is playin all these little games that makes it seem like you still have a chance with her so you keep on chancing after her and keep spending time with her... and if she ends up telling you that she isn't interested then what might happen is that since you know that she doesn't want a relationship you will stop hanging out with her as much because then you think what is there to try for if she don't wanna b with you so I believe she only wants a friendship and she might believe leading you on is the only way she can keep you around... so I think you should find yourself some one else because then in the end she is going to waste your time and break your heart... because if you really look at it she would have been with you a long time ago if she said she had feelings for u.


What Guys Said 1

  • Hey,

    first of all: take a breath, you'll need it ;)

    Basically what you're doing right now is the thing that most men do wrong (me included). You think too much about the situation, you try to bring logic into play and you talk about emotions with a girl that's not your girlfriend. To the two of us these things might appear to be logical, and well, they are, but love has nothing to do with logic... as sad as that might be.

    As I'm not a big friend of reinventing the wheel I hardly suggest you to read the following Blog written from another member from this site (Bobair)

    > link

    Show her that you want to be with her. How you do so?

    Well first of all stick around with her, go on dates (even though you might not want to call it that), get her become comfortable around you once again. Touch her, etc..

    At one point, not too far after 2-3 Dates escalate. Kiss her. Show her that you're for real and just SHOW HER WHAT YOU WANT.

    Because I can pretty much relate with your situation. You can't just be friends with her as that would block you from finding other girls (my english is getting worse each day I think...)

    You really need to escalate and get the girl. If you don't get her, let her down. Sounds harsh, but that's just the way life works... Either she wants you or she doesn't. If she doesn't - go on with your life and don't waste any needless thoughts on that girl!

    Good luck dude!