My boyfriend won't post pics of us on social media. Should I worry?

So my boyfriend is Indian and we have been dating for almost a year. Things went pretty well and he introduced me to all his friends and his sister. But he never posts anything about us on social media. I talked with him and he said he doesn't want his family or relatives to know at an early stage. His family and culture are conservative and most of his friends has this arranged marriage stuff, which makes me really worry. If that scares him that much, then will it become a stakeholder for our relationship? Is it worth it? I start to think about breaking up before things go too far already but it just makes me really sad :( Help!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • No. no. no. I also dated a foreign guy who would try and hide me and make excuses like that as to why. I also had met all his friends and family. I even went to his country. I later found out he had told his family that I was just a "friend." He told his friends other bad things. And this was us living together 5 years.

    If you are an outsider his family will never accept you as a wife much less a girlfriend. There is no exception to this. You can google countless stories of women who were used for years only for their foreign/traditional man to go and marry someone who their family is more approving of or even worse the ones that were married and who were divorced so that they could marry someone from their country.

    The traditional families tend to view most western women as unsuitable marriage material. It doesn't matter how untrue this is or how good of a woman you are. His excuse of not wanting them to know at an early stage is BS. It's been a year. Not weeks or months. I won't write all the details about what happened with me because I don't want to keep going on, but I can tell you from his behavior you WILL wind up hurt and heartbroken

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What Guys Said 34

  • I don't even have social media, what matters to me isn't everyone elses eyes. Just hers. I don't like the idea of social media posting about our relationship. No one needs to know unless we are engaged or something. I like to keep my relationships private or until I am asked about them.

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  • He is just not ready yet. His family traditions and stuff make me think he has a good reason not to feel comfortable with posting stuff on social media yet. I guess he would prefer his friends and relatives to find out in person when he is ready to tell them rather then by surprise. Have you posted anything of you and him together on social media? If so, how did he respond?

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    • I have posted our picture on Instagram. He is pretty happy with it, but won't post anything himself.

    • Then I guess he is just not ready. It takes time for some people especially for someone from a family like his with those strict traditions such as arranged marriages?

  • Be worried. Girl you should be happy. Whats with everyone wanting to thrust. Themselves into the entire world over the web. Are peoples lives really that empty? Maybe he just dosnt want to share your beauty with everyone.

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  • Social media is irrelevant to anything of value. Consider it just a playground for narcissists.

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  • Dude u mentioned him being Indian that tells us everything, most indian families won't allow their kids to be dating others without their approval

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    • Yea I know but I thought I could give it a try. He is not a kid anyway. 24 years old and I just can't imagine he didn't even have the freedom to see someone

    • Yeah they're that strict, doesn't matter how old they are unfortunately even (sometimes) though they move out the parents are always there

  • A lot of Indians are weird about going Facebook official. Honestly, yes, you SHOULD be worried, because his parents will probably want him to break up with you so he can marry an Indian. I'm sorry that you're having to go through this... I've been there. I'm a white boy who fell for an Indian girl.

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  • Is social media your reality? Do you only live on social media? The same argument in reality would be: my boyfriend doesn't go anywhere publicly with me. And I'm assuming that's not the case.

    Social media is mostly a lie and people make their life seem cooler than it actually is. I say live in reality. But if you wanna keep upping your virtual social status. Get a boyfriend who will comply. I'd never date you.

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  • This could just be a guy thing but i would ask questions
    on why he won't post pictures of you two on social media
    i believe you deserve a answer to why he won't post pics
    of you two it could be just a guy thing. But i believe he owes
    you a explanation on why he won't post pics of you two.

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  • Indian cultures is very very conservative. When I was young a dated an Indian girl. Though I couldn't have cared less (she was sweet and gorgeous... and I'm painfully white lol) we were forced to break up when her family found out.

    I wish you the best of luck. :-/

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  • Don't seek validation through social media, far too many people place to much value in it. You have met his immediate family and his friends, the ones that matter most to him. Keep in mind the cultural differences when it comes to him telling his more distant relatives. I have a few friends from India and this behavior is actually common with them.

    I will say that if you're having doubts about the relationship for other reasons than just this you should talk to him about that.

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  • So all this because of social media pictures... oh dear...
    Lol

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  • No. There are way too many innocent reasons for that behavior for that to be a red flag.

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  • You should be not worried that he is not posting pic of you both,

    but you should be concern if he has the courage to stand against his family if they don't accept your relationship.
    Find that out first...

    -indian guy

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  • No. I hate posting pictures of myself and who I am with. But that's just my personality. If he refuses to post pics but does it all the time with others then that night mean something. But I don't think you should worry

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  • As an indian guy, i can tell you. In india families are conservative. But before coming to any conclusion i must ask:

    #what does your boyfriend does for a living?

    #Is he independent?

    #Are you both gonna marry soon or there is long tym before you two marry?

    #Are you guys living together?

    Waiting for the answers before i can answer your question with a proper judgement.

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    • Hey thanks for replying! He is a programmer and yes he is independent. We are pretty good now. I can see being with him in the long term but we haven't thought about marriage yet. Not living together. He is involving me a lot into his life (friends, career planning etc. ) but it always becomes awkward when we talk about his family. The tone basically is 'I will try my best but let's see how it goes'. Even I really like him, I start to back off :( :(

    • Show All
    • Thanks. You made me feel better. But about the cultural difference - I know many parents expect their kids to marry Indians - I am so scared that after all the long time relationship will fail because of this family issue. Honestly just knowing that as a huge obstacle for our future is intimidating. I tried to convince myself not to think about it but it's so hard. He seems serious though. I don't want to bring it up too much to give him pressure.

      How can I adjust myself? Or should I talk to him?

    • Don't pressurize him. It will be a bad sign. Just have faith that whatever will happen... will be in the favor of you two. And about adjusting yourself... I can't suggest anything as i dont know what type of person you are or how u think.
      Just love enough to be patient. Talk to him about what? about involving family n all?

  • What kind of picture? You want the cutesy picture together where you look like that perfect couple (which in that case it might feel a bit embarrassing to him and his mates might make fun of him) or do you want just a casual picture of you two.

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  • The question here is why is it important that he posts anything about you on fb. He introduced you to his sister if she likes you, you got nothing to worry about.

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  • No. Stop looking for validation through social media, it's not healthy.

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  • Twenty years ago it was normal people didn't share private pictures with strangers. He might just wanna keep his online profile neutral. Or he wants to keep you all for himself and not to share you with the internet.

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  • No. .

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  • Not posting pics in social media or his friends got arrange martiages may not be a big issue, please get clear whether he is planning to take your relation further or not.

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  • If you're not comfortable with a person then ditch them.

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  • No u don't need do that if he really loves u than i should like to advice you just relax and keep faith on him.

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  • True love doesn't have any conditions like not telling to families at an early stage. If he loves you really then he can post a pic captioning friends

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  • No I wouldn't worry at all

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  • Personally don't like posting pics on social media, I've posted 5on insta in the past 6 years or so. If he posts often then maybe worry but if he's like me then just chill

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  • No, some guys just don't like to brag about thier girlfriends on social media in case it goes wrong, and some do and pay the price.

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  • Cultures are a bitch. Understand that and you understand your boyfriend

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  • I'm not even really active on facebook, so that wouldn't mean anything in my case.

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  • Depends on how long you were together.

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What Girls Said 9

  • If guys don't post things on fb about you I can see where trust issues might come in but maybe he's just not fully ready to show the world. I didn't do that with my boyfriend either not because I didn't care but why tell the world your with someone than weeks or mths later have to tell people your not with them anymore its embarrassing and people dnt always need to know your business unless you know that you know it'll last awhile..2nd it could be also because he's Indian he has certain requirements.. they do have arranged marriages but maybe his family might not completely agree with it.. my bro in laws bro married an Indian and the dad was so upset with her he tried to do everything to end that relationship

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  • Who cares about social media? I can't stand people who don't think their relationship is "official" if it isn't on social media. How about you share experiences and memories between you two and not all your friends and family?

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  • Not all guys like to post pictures or statuses on social media. In the 3 years I've been dating, my guy only posted 2 pictures of us together. Why? Because he says that it's not necessary. Also, cheesy pictures of couples made him feel miserable when he was single, so he doesn't want to do this for his single friends.

    Your boyfriend comes from a conservative family and culture. It's perhaps not common to show the world how happy he is with you...

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    • So how did it go with you and your guy? And how do you tell whether he is just not social or he is keeping his options open?

    • We met through a dating site. He removed the apps from his phone a week after we met. So for me that was the sign that he is serious about this.

      I personally don't share my whole life on FB either. I have lots of photos but I don't have the need to show them to everyone.

  • Your boyfriend's family seems to be strict enough that he doesn't want to tell them anything about his personal life, unless you are about to get engaged or married. Also, it's different if he talks with them face to face and informs them in a gentle and tactful manner he's seeing someone, than if they suddenly see pictures of you on social media.

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  • He's brown that's normal.

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  • i'd be concerned if i were you.
    is he ok with getting disowned?

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  • yeah be worried lol

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  • If he is Indian he wants more 'bobs and veginas' not ready to expose you!

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  • My friend had a boyfriend from Egypt. He never posted things about her on Facebook and she never met his family. He turned mean and controlling so she dumped him. She found out he had a fiancé from an arranged marraige the whole time back in Egypt. Him and the fiancé got married like a month later.

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