Have you ever said you'll change and actually done it?

Simple question really. Have you ever told someone you'll change and have you actually meant it, or have you just said it to placate them?

Have you ever said you'll change and actually done it?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes.

    My wife asked me to stop drinking.

    I drank heavily for 25 years, and I have not had a drink in over three years.

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What Guys Said 39

  • Simple Answer.

    Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.

    Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.

    😊🤔🙃

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  • I've never said it, but I've done it. "I'll change" has no meaning to me. Its like what specific thing are you going to change? Whatever subjective thing the other person comes up with? Are you willing or even capable of doing it? And if you make those changes will you respect yourself after handing over yoir balls? I wouldn't.

    If they say they'll start/stop doing something specific then that's something else. But just saying I'll change is a last ditch effort lie, or they actually mean it and become a follower out of desperation.

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  • Yes, I have changed many times, depending on the needs of the moment and the results i want to produce.

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  • No. I honestly wouldn't change for someone unless I felt it was necessary.

    For example I met my wife almost 5 years ago. That was a watershed moment in my life. I realized I needed to make serious change in my life, if I was going to be the right kind of guy for her. So I did my best to make those changes. I, for lack of a better term, got my shit together, and made vast improvements in my life. I never told her I would change, I just did it because I wanted to marry her, and I wanted to be right for her.

    Typically when people say they will change it's a manipulation tactic and means nothing.

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    • I agree. But you changed somewhat for your wife, which is lovely.

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    • I knew what you were saying.

  • I have done that befor. It worked for awhile. Then she left me and said. She did so because i wasn't myself.

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  • People only change if they really want to. You can never force them. Some people say that so that they can manipulate others into staying. I've told someone that I'd change a few years ago, but when I did change, I stopped hanging out with them all together. I started focusing on work more. Now I'm going on my 3rd year in the Navy. They asked me to stop doing all of the silly shenanigans that would get me sent to jail, so I have. The only person you can control is yourself. I hope that you have a nice day.

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  • @Blonde401 I have finally learnt to celebrate my mediocrity, any change I promise at this stage would inevitably end in failure lol

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  • I say it and fail miserably to do it. But i really wanted to.

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  • I think most people have been in this situation, me personally I've said it with the doubt the doubt that I was really never going to change, but with time I can safely say I have changed especailly for the better, but by then it was too late. The good part about changing is that it benefits you most times.

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  • I started flirting with a girl, she said she needs me to go back to being her best friend instead of a love interest because she doesn't trust men. So I changed because I respect her and being her friend is better than losing her completely.

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    • For the first time in history a man is proud he is friend zoned. Lol!

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    • Yeah, I know. I've been trying to find someone else but I've been very unlucky

    • Eventually something will come up. After being with my ex I thought nothing else would come by. Boy has there been lots of opportunities.

  • How about quitting smoking? YES

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  • I have genuinely tried, but sometimes a person's mind is already made up, and even if can demonstrate it, they still won't reciprocate. The feeling you get when that happens is awful

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    • Right about that fucking sucks

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    • Forget it her lose your gain. Move on there will always be someone that think just like you or have the same value as you do the only thing is... is finding that person

    • @bof123 every says that, probably shouldn't have been something i even entertained at all

  • I always change. I'm all about adapting to the relationship to minimize problems.

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    • Always? That's not healthy man! You be you!

    • If it's a part of me then no, but if it's something minor like use less salt then yes.

  • I have. I quit smoking about 12 years ago. I started working out. I eat healthier. I'm no angel, but I try to be good to my body. I don't drink much

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    • Sounds like you made improvements for the better! Do you feel happier?

    • Yes. Much! Working out is amazing mentally also, I didn't realize it would be. Also, my diet got a lot better without me even trying. The idea of eating greasy burgers becomes nauseating if you work out. Quitting smoking is also a financial boost, besides the obvious health improvements. I was standing in line at a gas station and saw someone pay $15 for a pack of cigarettes! Yikes!

    • Congratulations :)

  • Not quite then again one could say that but life itself for that person has to change. Well.. at least for some

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  • Yes - even one of these 31.12 promises worked
    Vegetarian, no alohol (since 16), no smoking
    But these days i have grown a bit lazy 😉...

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  • That depends on how you look at it. You can not fundamentally change yourself. You can adjust certain behaviors, absolutely. On that sense, I've quite often changed (my behaviors). But even just that is certainly not easy.

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    • I believe you can change yourself. If you really wanted to. It's not easy at all though.

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    • First of all, don't attack my person, it's a weak move. Second of all, if you're offended by my mentioning of sexuality, apparently a very sensitive subject, just say so. I don't want to offend, it just was the strongest reasoning I could make of something that can't change. But you've made your point, I'll stop here

    • Where did I attack your person? Saying you don't have enough going on is not an attack on you as a person. In this moment, you have nothing better to do than make a straw man argument. Obviously sexuality is a hugely touchy topic for a lot of people. And unless you're gay/bisexual yourself you've no idea how it feels to be so. Obviously some things you cannot change. I never stated all things can be changed but people can change their behaviour.

  • Both. Sometimes i say to avoid a topic sometimes i mean it. I have changed my ways in the past and have gotten the desired results

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    • So you've changed for the better? Was it your choice or did someone ask you to?

    • Actually my choice. If someone asks me to change even when i know they are right 95% my inner self will oppose it :D
      I guess we change when we do the math ourselves figure out what is wrong with us and then act on it. I welcome advise but not authority. If the change desired in me is from someone who i trust like my father then yes i will think if its not i will reject the thought and will learn it my way

    • Fair points. Thank you.

  • I was asked/wanted to change. I struggled far too much to do it and we broke up. come a year later I'm completely different for the better and it happened without trying. It was probably the break up that changed me tbh.

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    • Sometimes change really is hard. And maybe life just has other plans for us sometimes!

    • Nah I was just a fair cunt but I'm glad I'm a much better guy now.

  • i tried to.

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  • Yes I have and no I haven't lol

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  • yes.

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  • yes I have.

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  • I change my clothes quite often.

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  • Yes. You live you learn, you change. For me I changed for the better. And I'm still working on more change.

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  • I always mean it, im just not great at doing it.

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  • Yep. Said I would lose weight. Dropped 30kg
    120kg down to 90kg. Need to get to 80kg though.

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  • I say and I try it

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  • Small changes yes but never anything drastic

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  • I have, I got in in trouble in elementary school A LOT eventually I stopped

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What Girls Said 3

  • Yes. My most recent one is I told my parents I'd be 100% financially independent of them, take some of their burden off. I've been working a year now, moved out of the house for nearly 4 months, and loving it :)

    They supported me and the friends I moved with, but I don't think anyone expected us to last this long already. We're the 3 musketeers

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  • Not to someone, but like when I wanted to change for myself and really wanted this change, I did it.

    I would not say it to someone to just make them feel good.
    The truth can hurt but it's better then some lie "oh I will change trust me" yeah sure you will and I'm the next Madonna
    Yeah I also do not believe people if they tell me they will change, don't say it to me, show me and do it for your own
    I hope you get the message haha

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    • Oh yeah I never believe anyone that tells me they'll change. I was just musing lol. I totally get the message :) haha, thanks for your input!

  • yes, and I done it, I prove myself to my mom.

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