Boyfriend receiving mysterious calls and hiding flirtatious text messages?

I need help with this please. What do you think and how you think I should handle this.

I have no secret from my boyfriend, always been very open with him, he know password to my email account, facebook account, etc. There is nothing that I feel the need to hide from him. I also trust him, I don't think he would cheat on me, and he would not have time to cheat on me anyway, because he pretty much spends all of his waking hours with him. He treats me pretty nice. I believe he has the intention to propose to me sometimes this year (we've known each other for a long long time)

The thing is... for months, he has been getting mysterious calls and text messages on his iphone. When I ask him who or what it is, he will say he doesn't know the number that is calling or that it is friend, and refuse to tell me who the friend is! He would have me play games on his iphone, but get really grabby and calls me "snoopy" when I just wanna switch screen to the main menu to see other games he has downloaded. His defensive action only make me feel very curious about the email or text messages.

Today , while standing in line, I was playing a game on his iphone and he told me to sit in car to wait for him. While alone with iphone on the car, I saw he has a new text message. This unlabeled contact only said "rain rain go away" but it just so happen that iphone displays all the text messages... so I saw the person sent him numerous texts, some of which he responds to . In one message, the person say "Are you in a relationship with Lyone outside of work?" My boyfriend denied it. The person said "Cause you are really nice to her." " I miss you, so I guess I make things up." Base on the message, I am positive it is someone from work, because Lyone is a girl that my boyfriend talks about. Perhaps he does have a little crush on her, but it is not a big deal, the big deal to me is... who is this girl that is flirt-texting my boyfriend?!

When my boyfriend came back to car, I told him what I saw, and asked him who is the sender. He refused to tell me! I listed all the names I know of, until he finally admit to one of the name, Ellen, a married women that had a crush on him from two years ago! The thing is.. why couldn't he just tell me straight out?! I believe my boyfriend has good character and would have nothing to do with another person's wife, that I have no doubt. But I feel like I cannot trust him when he said it was Ellen, it could be another girl that he hasn't told me about for all I know! I just let it drop and we spend the evening in peace. He didn't apologize to me or try to explain anything to me!

Later in the evening, I called him up to tell him how I feel. I reminded him how I would always let him know whenever guys try to ask me out. I asked that he tells me whenever a girl text flirts with him too, so I can feel like I can trust him. He was so defensive that he shouted at me and hang up on me.

I am just surprised at how defensive he is. He tells me that my request to him only means that he cannot have any friends. I told him, of course you can have friends, I just would appreciate it that you let me know if some girl is hitting on you.
Apparently, he doesn't tell his coworkers that he has a girlfriend. He says "It should be obvious!" "I just don't talk about my personal life!" But according to him all of his coworkers have his personal cell phone number!
I feel like he has not keep in touch with his friends because he doesn't want to let them know about me or the fact that he is no longer single... from his action/behavior today, I just have so much doubt about him that I didn't have before.


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What Guys Said 1

  • For him to honestly all of a sudden in the past months or so start acting that way and hiding things from you ... there could be other reasons but for me since I have honestly been there before in a past relationship.

    I acted about the same way and it was all because I was doing what I wasn't suppose to.

    Telling people that I worked with that I wasn't dating just because I like a girl at work and I knew she would not go for me if I was seeing someone ya know.

    Hiding the phone or being a little too clingy with my phone just so the girl couldn't get a chance to look at it.

    Even when she wanted to look at it, I would be right there, all up in the way cause I was afraid at any moment someone would send a text or call at the wrong time and she would know it all then ya know.

    I thought about your situation, maybe he's not messing around maybe its cause of this or that but honestly the only things I come up with is not good ya know.

    If I was in your shoes honestly I would see if he gets back to "normal" without all the hiding like he has been doing but if he keeps doing like he has been or it gets worse.

    I would honestly get out of the relationship now, yeah you might hurt breaking up with him but you might be saving yourself from a lot more heart ache ya know.

    Whatever you decide, I hope it all works out and good luck - Keep me posted if you like =)

    • Thank you for responding to me! He finally called and apologized for shouting and hanging up on me, but he still don't apologize for hiding the flirt text messages. Right now I am just trying to calm down to let things cool down until we contact again... I think he likes me more than that girl because he spends all of his time with me, has no time for another girl, so maybe I will pretend nothing happened and hope if he will feel guilty and stop text with her...

    • Hopefully you're right - Just don't get too caught up where you don't see the truth ya know - Just keep your eyes open and I hope it all gets better for you.

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