When does preferences turn into racism?

When does preferences turn into racism

Because when you ask a person why they won’t date a person of a different race it always have racial undertones and involves that persons culture

Updates:
A lot of good arguments

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I have a preference for guys with dark hair. That is not prejudicial towards guys with fair hair. Fair haired guys are just as nice and should otherwise be treated the same.

    I have a preference for guys with white skin. That is also not prejudicial towards guys of any skin colour. It is just a preference. I am not saying there is anything wrong with any other guy.

    Racism starts when someone deliberately promotes something to the real detriment of another race.

    An example is if I own a shop. I might have a preference in serving one race, but treat all of them the same. Racism starts if I refuse to serve one race over the others.

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    • This question was based on a personal experience I’m biracial black/white and I asked out a white women and she rejected me she said it wasn’t a race thing but personal preference later she started making air of racial slurs towards black people and even called me a gorilla

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    • @juicy Next... you then use god as a reference, which to me shows another facet of your ideals, which is funny because like all of the bible, it depends on someone mans interpretation, such Genesis 1:27 So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. There are more...

      Link: biblestudytools. com/topical-verses/bible-verses-about-equality/

      So, even if your god made man equal, you still wouldn't give a fuck right? What would that be?

    • @GuyWhosHonest the quote that god made everyone equal destroys her argument because we are made in gods image and god doesn’t see skin color

Most Helpful Guy

  • Having race preference because you finds some features more attractive which is more common in some groups than others it's not racism. A person who find blonde hair, blue eyes and a narrow nose is more likely to date a person of North-European heritage than people from Africa, Asia etc. because these features are more common among Nordic people than some other groups. So saying "I've a preference for white women because they're attractive" or saying "I've a preference for African guys because I'm into dark looks" is fine in my opinion. It's simply the person's taste and is no different than the blonde vs brunette thing or chocolate vs vanilla ice cream.

    If you're generalizing someone based on prejudice then it's racist. If you says and thinks "I don't want to date X because they're all annoying" or "I don't want to date Y because they're all stupid criminals" then it's racial prejudice. It's two different things. I'm talking about race preference only. Culture isn't the same as race.

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What Girls Said 4

  • When you really like someone but won't date them because of their race. Honestly guys, it's not that hard to just be decent. Treat people the way you want to be treated, leave people better than you found them, be nice. It's not hard at all

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    • And yet someone people in this lost see that as completely normal when it’s not

    • People can really suck sometimes, so you have to nicely talk to them about this stuff and try to help them understand that it's not okay

  • when you are really into a person for whatever reason be it looks, personality, voice, intellect, etc and you want to date him/her but the moment you find out their ethnicity (and it's not what you had assumed) you suddenly lose all interest except maybe casual sex

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    • And I have had this happen so many timea

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    • You lead me to believe you're not european (white), I'd give you the benefit of saying you could be in another ethnic group, but my first love was like this, my freshman year in college, so I had a lot to think about, then I began to learn things, and part of that was that love is a social construct, among many other things that really has helped me become a better person. I can't explain everything here, but yeah, it sucks, you should do what many people don't do, observe relationships, observe people, not in a creepy stare at someone way, but study relationships, as you can use that to see things things through the situations, this is, I guess one way to communicate with others about it. I wonder what these other posts are like... oh yeah, I say observe, because that's how I came to the conclusion that love and many other things such as females being physically attracted to a guy for his looks like the OP mentioned are social constructs that are fairly recent.

  • A preference is a preference. Case closed

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  • when you hate that certain race

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What Guys Said 26

  • Some people are that way and I guess you could call that racism, but it's not that bad honestly. The fact is that racial minorities tend to have self-segregated subcultures and that can have quite the effect on someone's perception of people of a certain race.

    That being said, some people are just weighing the odds of someone falling into a particular culture and then just make a general statement like "I won't date X because they tend to have Y attitude", not really intending it to mean every member of the race, but instead trying to say that that's how most of them tend to be in the particular place the person lives in.

    There's a difference between not dating Hispanic guys and not dating Hispanic guys when you live in a particularly bad racial ghetto, y'know?

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    • Ok I’m biracial what should I do to find a
      Girlfriend with these situations

  • Simple, when you make a decision that is supposed to be based on costs and benefits analysis by your own preference rather than actual data.

    For example, I like chocolate cake because I think it tastes good. That's why I bought the cake. This is a decision based purely on preference without the need for a performance or costs analysis.

    Another example would be a German made laptop and a China made laptop. Both are made from the same materials and factory but different sticker. They are exactly the same except the brand and price. If you pick one over the other for private work then it's a preference decision when you actually need a cost analysis.

    Another example would be an employee wearing a turban during work hours. The hat had affect your sales based on your data. Then it would not be discrimination to not allow the employee to wear the turban or fire him if that's too bothersome. Of course, you can't say that because you will be sued.

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  • 1. Sometimes people just don't find the physical traits of certain other races to be attractive.
    2. Other times they just don't want to deal with all the BS that would come along with dating them.
    3. A lot of White people don't want other races because any time something doesn't go their way, they will accuse the White person of being racist, but not accuse someone of a different race of being racist when the EXACT same thing happens.

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    • yeah it's funny that always whites are called racist, when any race can be that. it just goes less in the media.

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    • @LunaJ your first pet is spot on it is the rejection they want chances and opportunity just like anyone else but they are isolated and forgotten about. There is a very famous movie that depicts this and ice cube even has a famous line in it Doughboy: either they don't know... don't show... or don't care about what's going on in the hood.

    • well said! isolated & forgotten. that would kill anyone.
      we here struggle with gypsies. but they're different. most of them is lazy ass, want money but don't want to work for it. they get education, normal treatment, yet they refuse to co-op. and blame everyone else for being hated by the majority of the society.

  • Not dating someone due to their race or their culture doesn't necessarily have anything to do with racism.

    Toleration does not mean you like it. It means you accept it's right to exist. Racists don't tolerate others of a specific group. But you can tolerate a race without being drawn to their cultural norms. You can tolerate someone without being attracted to their races physical features.

    We have no control over what we find attractive, but we can control what we tolerate.

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    • Ok so this girl rejected me then proceeded to make racial slurs 2 weeks later and called me a gorilla

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    • Just make sure you don't confuse her with B.

    • Well I can tell you that after she rejected me and said it wasn’t race based but her preferences cause she didn’t like my facial structure. A couple weeks after that was when the racial slurs started flying and when she called me a gorilla

  • It doesn't.

    If you're not attracted to someone, you're not attracted... besides choosing someone based on their culture is completely rational actually.

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    • So how do I date if I am a mixture of races

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    • @DarkHorse123

      1) I'm not even replying to you.
      2) I quite clearly stated in my anecdote "as an example".

    • Sorry. My bad...

  • It's usually white people who say it's just a 'preference'. By and large they don't have to deal with it. Having been on the receiving end of the whole 'not into black people' line it's very hurtful and feels like generalizing. What, have you met every single person of color on the planet and you are not attracted to one?

    There have been some interesting studies on the topic. People who have such 'preferences' generally have some sort of hidden bias towards one race or another. People don't like to address or admit the uglier parts of themselves and thus many just dismiss it as preference and get defensive as opposed to taking a good hard look at themselves.

    Tread carefully when someone says they have racial preferences.

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    • Well I’m a very analytical person so I will typically pick a part a persons argument and get them to admit they are racis without the words actually coming out of their mouth

    • There's a lot of racists out there but they are loathe to admit it. x

    • I put facts in their face until they have no choice

  • It turns to racism when you start making generalizations. For instance, it's fine to say "I'm not attracted to black men because they don't turn me on". It's not okay to say "I'm not attracted to black men because they're all thugs".

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    • Yeah I ended up catching a lot of girls cause first I ask why they don’t date interacially and they will respond it’s just my preference and then later I will hear them slip up and make a racial slur

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    • True, it'd be difficult if she's a racist. Otherwise, it's an excuse that can be unlearned.

    • Like I’m really starting to wonder if I will ever date

  • If a woman isn't physically attracted to black guys, it's not racist.

    If a woman is attracted to black guys but doesn't date them because she views them as monkeys, that's racist.

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  • there's a difference between not being attracted to and not thinking some race can be attractive. i'm not attracted to Asian women, but i admit that there are some stupid attractive Asian chicks

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  • It never turn into racism. Racism is thinking that a race deserve better rights over another. Taste about skin color or culture isn't racism.

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    • Yes it is for example a lot of white people dont understand black culture. And I ask this because women prove me right with their words I’m biracial and I asked out a white girl and she rejected me and said it wasn’t a race thing but later on started to make racial comments about black people and even said I looked like a gorilla

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    • Cause if you are looking up stats look how whites are more likely to get hired then blacks even though they might be equally qualified

    • Look at how messed up the educational system is taking funding away from schools in black areas

  • False premise. It's NOT about race; it's usually about a culture, that's associated with a race. Or something else.

    When I tell people that I think Lucy Liu is devastatingly attractive, they usually go "Oh, you like Asian girls!" But that's not true. I like long hair, lean builds, and freckles. I think Gwyneth Paltrow is also attractive.

    I've dated women of every racial type except Australian aborigine (never met one). There's not one I wouldn't go back to.

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  • It becomes racism when you're attracted to a guy that's not your preference but won't date him because of his race. If you're just not attracted to him then it's fine.

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    • Yeah and that’s what I’m trying to explain to the women in this post

  • When your preferences turn into hatred of someone because of their race. It's ok to turn someone down based on the colour of their skin just cos you're not attracted to them. But don't belittle that entire race group cos that ain't cool

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    • And I have had this happen she even called me a gorilla

    • Don't worry man it's happened to me too. Girl was all keen saying I'm the kinda guy she's looking for until she found out my race then she told me that she doesn't date inferior people

  • I think this is BS like if I say I prefer brunettes, am I blondist? - Preference is just preference.

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    • No I’m talking racial preferences like having everything in common with someone but yet not deciding to date them based on the color of their skin

    • I knew what you were saying - I just gave the hair colour example as device to show difference between preference and bias

  • Dunno, i dont have a prefrence but I've noticed quite a bit of Asian and Spanish girls pay me a lot of attention here in Georgia

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  • I lived this story.
    A woman I know liked me an vica versa. But later she listen to her friends and end up with 3 kids 1 grandkid and lonely. Her ex beat her up and she sold herself to feed her kids and herself.
    But a lot I left out for legal reasons

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    • Well I just laugh in these situations cause I know my high value and how I will reach my goals and when women turn me away and then I see them later in a worse situation it’s like you had an opportunity.

  • It never becomes racism. Preference is valid, no matter what.

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    • So if I say I don’t snow bunnies is that racist

    • Why would it be?

    • Because what happened to dating someone with similar interests or dating based on personality why does everything always come back to race

  • Oh I love this question. I have no idea what the answer is, but I love it.

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    • But your aware of this happening correct

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    • I think on that question it is a problem with both races white women being scared of black men and black men being afraid of white women due to he rape card they hold as well as many other if he upsets her

    • I was talking about all Races

  • If they say anything anything that fits into "you're inferior because of your race"

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  • So I am a half black half white man and I've never really been attracted to black women and that may be because growing up the weren't any other black kids. I don't know food for thought.

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  • I won't date skin colour x or y is kinda racist. But the line for me is simple. I prefer white girls with blond hair and blue eyes, I would date black girls, but not ones that are in my league, because of my preference. I hope that makes sense.

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  • I dont really believe that at any point , dating preferences are linked with racism.

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    • Yes they are cause there’s always racial undertones in the preferences

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    • So what about people who are mixtures of races how do you describe that

    • I said more people, not all people. Obviously mixed peoples parents were people who liked people of different races.
      So a moxed person may prefer one or both the races of their parents, other mixed persons, or sometimes other races. Pretty much like any other people.
      I would say a straight mixed man is more likely to be into women of his moms race, if i had to bet on it. and vice versa for a biracial girl.

      This is as far as i can comment on this. I dont understand the point of your question tough, how is any of this related to racism?

  • When it's about a majority

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  • If having a preference for my own race is rascist then I'm a rascist

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  • Maybe some people just can't hide their dislikes or hatred. They may not realize it.

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    • Hatred always comes to the light you can’t hide it

  • Isn't it simply always discriminatory? Dating is inherently a racist, sexist, classist, weightist, heightist, ... -ist institution that simply cannot be helped. It is acceptable.

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    • False, race is a social construct, men and women in many ancient integrated cities have had relationships. Although, just as with today, the white man has always had a fear of extinction, this is due to their numbers constantly dwindling to natural causes, as the white man is recessive and any other mixture will always be dominant, but there was no concept of race, it was a fear, or to be fair, unlike the european, a way to keep those around you easily identifiable, as in pale skins were easily identifiable, not the same thing as race today.

    • That sounds good and all but it is not true. When people are discriminated against based on their skin color there is nothing socially constructed about that. In fact the general population no matter what age you look at doesn't tend to date interracially which you could understand as a natural predilection towards one's own features for mating success processes. I'm relatively certain though that your understanding of racism is through a very narrow scope failing to understand that Asia was/is majorly xenophobic in certain areas and so is Africa actually in the modern day. Racism is usually a weapon of the Majority, no matter who the Majority is in a given area, rather than some Eurocentric concept that crept up through the Dark Ages or whatever it is you've been lead to believe. It is older than history itself.

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