Are you more attracted to someone who's similar or different than you?

  • Similar
    Vote A
  • Different
    Vote B
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Guy

  • I love my girlfriend and how we are into the same things like we are currently in a long distance relationship but she's coming over here in a few months when she gets her car and so we'll just be cuddling and playing video games together and going on walks at night cause we both like night walks over walking in the daytime, we have the same thought process except that even though I'm only 17 I've been studying psychology for years and can always basically read people's minds and help them with their problems (when I read hers about her fantasies she gets frustrated cause it turns her on and it was supposed to be her secret)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think I'm initially attracted to people similar to me but someone who'd be different might work out better.

    I guess the ideal situation would be a mix of similar and different traits that would work well together.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 76

  • I would say similar, but then again, I think an extrovert would balance me out nicely. I love to get high energy sometimes, but need the right people to amp things up. That said, similarly feels more like a kindred spirit and I love being understood and appreciated for who I am. If my partner can appreciate me and I can appreciate them, then really, it doesn't matter that much.

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  • I want a girl who is similar in values, but practically the direct opposite in personality.

    What I mean is that I want a girl with the same morals as I have. However, I'm outgoing, while I want a girl who is shy. I'm energetic, while I want a girl who is calm. I'm blunt, while I want a girl who is tactful.

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  • Similar in certain ways, but most definitely different in others. I'm an introvert, and I'd need another introvert, but when I see the things I hate most about myself in other people I tend to not be attracted to them. That being said my issues tend to manifest themselves in other guys as opposed to women, so I'm not too worried about that

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  • Similar values, at least.

    Less things to go wrong that way.

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  • I think you kinda need a mix of both.

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  • Not having anything in common might be a problem, you have less activities that you can surely enjoy together, but having differences is important, this creates an entertaining relationship where you discover other fields with your partnerwho can show you their World

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  • That depends. I’m more attracted to someone who shares same values and goals... we don’t have to like same things as long as both of us are open minded and willing to try new things. Regarding her personality, I tend to be attracted to who’s different than me.

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  • Well, I think that someone with similar interests certainly helps. If they're interested in the same things as me or have similar political opinions to me, I may find it easy to get comfortable around them.

    When it comes to personality, I'm quite open minded. Although, I do find it quite attractive if the woman acts confident. I'm an introvert, but I think I'd be happy with any type of person: introvert; ambivert or extrovert.

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  • Kinda hard actually... different isn't a bad thing but it does make things interesting but usually for the most part. Similar

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  • I like a woman who has enough in common with me so that we are compatible and different enough that we can surprise and illuminate eachother

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  • Similarities in the big things, differences in the little things.

    Like I want to keep living in the city, not move outside in the middle of nowhere.

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  • I usually attract someone who is quite different on the surface but who become more similar to me as they get to know me.

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  • I'm a big monster I want a skinny girl Opposites attract

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  • It depends. Usually I like someone who is complementary, but my current girlfriend is very similar to me, personality wise. Very smart too.

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  • Different in some things, similar in other things.

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  • Similar.

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  • I believe having similarities with your SO is important since you can both have things you love, thus share your love for the said thing.

    The most important thing, I believe, is having a similar or equal thoughts, ideas, personalities. It makes it easy to understand each other.

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  • I would prefer different but, would like to have some things in common. We'd have different sets of strengths and weaknesses and, we could learn from each other and improve.

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  • A little bit of both, we can have different tastes but we both must have respectful morals and basic maturity and mannerisms but everything else can be different.

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  • I guess it depends on the type of person you are. If you like to stay in your comfort zone, you probably choose someone like you but if you want to grow and expand your knowledge, you seek an opposite personality type.

    They say opposites attract, while that's true, you still need to have some things in common with a potential mate

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  • Both similar and different, for example, it would be great if we share views and opinions, but that doesn't mean they have to be interested in the same things I am into.

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  • Me: sooo you jave bags under your eyes why?

    Her: sorry was up all night raiding with my party on xxxx game

    Me: we're done here, she's THE ONE

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  • Definitely different, I dont want to date myself. Its nice finding someone with qualities I don't have so that maybe we balance each other out in a way

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  • Similar. I would like to be with someone I discuss the things I'm really interested in like math or chess.

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  • I would rather not think about it until I have something going on with him/her. If you put this as a basis for attraction you might miss someone who would've perfectly clicked with you regardless of similarities or dissimilarities.

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  • I think someone similar is probably who I would be attracted to

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  • I tend to be attracted women that are quite different from me. They help to balance my energy out with equal and opposite good vibes 😊

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  • Similar, the more similar the better.

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  • actually something like me something not: for example:
    I am a low tempered person so i want a girl who is not like me.
    I am a pet lover so I like to have a pet lover girl.
    and some things does not matter
    like what is her family status.

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What Girls Said 60

  • Me and my partner think very similar but appreciate our differences that compliment each other.

    You need a balance, just like everything in life.

    If you date yourself/similar then arguments will arise and you'll not learn or grow as a couple. But if you are very different arguments will arise also.

    ----

    The differences need to compliment one another.
    The similarities need to connect you two together.
    The negatives need to not affect you as much or even align with you.
    The disagreements helping you to learn and grow as a couple.

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  • They have to have similar or the same values and morals besides principles as me. Personality wise, I prefer different. But their character has to have traits that are respectful and considerate. Very much similar to values and views. I'm mainly attracted to those who exhibit kindness, maturity, and is reliable besides honest, etc.

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  • Are you talking about looks?
    I love men who look similar to me, like similar features but in a man (dark hair, tanned skin or a little light , darkish eyes , soft hair texture but not too straight , caucasian bone structure etc...).

    I don't care if his personnality is different, or if his culture is different, as long as it doesn't hinder us.

    But I want us to have similar views about life in general, and similar values.

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  • Similar, so thats hy my boyfriend and i are struggling every now and again. Moral wise we’re on the same page but not in terms of interests/hobbies

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  • you can live together with someone who is similar to you in things like interest, life goals, thinking. but some difference is important to stay interesting to each other - else it'd look like you're living with your copy

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  • Similar in outlook and values so we'll get along, but different in interests, skills, and knowledge so we can learn from each other and experience new things together.

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  • I enjoy both, differences make things interesting, but similarities are essential in maintaining a good balance

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  • Similar! I love myself and everything I stand for, and would get along very well with someone like myself. An independent and ambitious man who's not scared to express his emotions and inner thoughts. We would have interesting discussions and learn from each other.

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  • I prefer similarities in big values but all the rest I wanted different: ethnicity, nationality, culture, traditions, language, country...

    I find when 2 people are different it's more fun, much more to learn, to exchange, more things to enjoy, ...

    Personally, similarities are boring to me, I don't like typical life full of routine, living like an animal or a robot.

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  • Some of both but mostly different. I don't wanna date wanna date myself and have a yes man who knows the same things I know. I love my boyfriend cause we're opposite and give each other different views/perspectives and grew up completely different.

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  • a little different.. there would be a huge personality clash if I date someone like myself.. and it won't work out

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  • Our fundamental values and lifestyle must be similar for a relarionship to work long term. Everything else can be different or the same. That doesn't really matter to me

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  • Similar core values, different everything else.

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  • Similar, it's nice to have someone who shares your interests. It leads to less fights also, at least from my experience.

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  • I'd like my partner to be different to me, whether thats looks or personality wise. But our morals and values that form the foundation of who we are and how we perceive the world around us need to be somewhat aligned. For example, I think it would be cute if me and a future boyfriend/husband had different taste in music, or one of us is really crazy while the other is super calm & sensible. But both of us need to value the same morals such as kindness, humility, working hard etc.

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  • Different. Different. Different. And luckily for me, I only attract people who differ from me a little or wildly.

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  • Bit of both

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  • I don't know why but every guy i've ever intensely liked no matter what race, has an intense love for uh... getting elevated. for those who don't know big words, they're fucking faded.

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  • My partner and I have quite a few things in common we're both into anime/manga. We both enjoy playing xbox. We both play/played basketball. But personality wise we're somewhat different he's always social and outgoing where as I'd prefer to keep to myself if its an option. Im super lovey dovey where as he's not. And boy do we clash heads sometimes to the point where we actually broke up for 3 months before getting back together again but I can honestly say I have never been attracted to anyone as much as I am to him. But I think thats more so because of him as a person not the fact that we have so much in common.

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  • I think my current crush is a bit of both

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  • I’m attracted to guys I can learn something new from so I guess that means different.

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  • Their interests need to be similar, but other than that they can be either similar or different to me.

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  • Definitely different. The opposite is my ideal.

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  • I am a woman and I am attracted to men - this is enough difference for me right there since we are from different planets LOL. However, in everything else, I want someone who is similar to or compatible with me. This is why I use Self-Match app to check if the guy who is asking me out is actually compatible with me. I don't want to fall for a wrong guy anymore. Differences create conflicts. Conflicts make your attraction go away.

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  • Similar.

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  • Both

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  • different coz i hate myself lmao

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  • Its been a little diff lately, but similar for the most part

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  • The whole "opposites attract" is BS. He should share similar values and outlook on life for me to even consider dating him.

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